ENTJ Survey: 5 Things ENTJs Wish They Had Known as Teens

 

personalityhacker.com_ENTJ-survey

Of all the types, ENTJs are the most driven to leadership and strategic management. Although other types may make effective managers or strategists, ENTJs are masterful in the roles of CEO, Army General, or political achiever. They are utilitarian, pragmatic, and prudent, and hold themselves (and others) to a high standard.

Otto Kroeger once observed that ENTJs, “See daily life as a kind of chessboard, upon which people, things, and entities are moved, removed, altered, and engaged—constantly for the organizational good.” Likely ENTJs of the past are Winston Churchill, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Douglas MacArthur.

ENTJs make up only 2% of the general population, with men outnumbering women 3 to 1. In fact, there are fewer ENTJs among women than any other type. Making female ENTJs the rarest type there is!

ENTJs are over-represented among MBA students and small business owners, and are one of only two types who report high satisfaction with career choices.

In a recent survey of ENTJs we asked four questions:

  • What are the top 3 challenges you face as an ENTJ?
  • What 3 things do you wish others knew about you as an ENTJ?
  • What 3 books/movies/courses/events have most impacted your life?
  • What do you wish you could have told your 15 year old self
?

In this article, I would like to focus on the last of the four survey questions –What do you wish you could have told your 15 year old self
?

Many of the answers shared some common themes. So, I have broken them all down to 5 items ENTJs wish they had known when they were 15 years old, in order of frequency.

#1 Be More Ambitious

ENTJs dominant mental process is Extraverted Thinking (“Effectiveness” in the Genius System). This is about getting things done, creating functional systems, and intuitively knowing how to move people and processes toward the most effective goal.

It therefore should not surprise us that 24% of ENTJs surveyed said they wished they had been more ambitious in their youth.

Direct Quotes:

  • “Apply for more academic scholarships and choose a degree that makes money. Take the SAT multiple times and don’t be too proud of your accomplishments. (I studied art in college, but I could have pursued artistic areas without a degree. I have no regrets, but I would advise myself to go into immigration law or politics.)”
  • “Since you have so many awesome passions, focus on the one that can make you the most money and where you can make money from people under you. When you’re rich, you can do all that other stuff on the side. And you’ll have more money and time to do what you want.”
  • “Small actions and gratitudes made now will lead to big achievements and relationships later. Take each day as it comes. Trying and failing is better than fantasizing about perfection and never attempting to make it for fear of failure.”
  • “Join the Navy as an officer instead of enlisted man. (I would have had my BABY by the time I got out at 25. I would have finished my MS by 30 and would be finishing my PHD. Instead, I am about 5 years behind this pace.)”
  • “You are right about your mother and your father being unable to help you get ahead. Find a mentor and don’t apologize or look back. Question everyone and everything. Stop choosing the safe options. Trust and be creative. Learn how to buy stocks.”

#2 Choose Your Battles Better

If ENTJs have a weakness, it is their failure to honor the subjective feelings and emotions of those around them. This often compromises interpersonal relationships.

For this reason, perhaps it is no surprise that 15% of ENTJs would tell their younger selves to make more strategic choices when going to battle.

Direct Quotes:

  • “It is okay that you are nearly always right, but you should carefully choose when to stand up and say so. Don’t let your perfectionism keep you from starting and finishing things. Stay in shape!”
  • “It’s okay that you don’t feel as much as other people do and it’s okay that you drop people out of your life. I would tell my 15 yr old self that the reason I drop people out of my life is because I knew they weren’t going to last long and that there was no growth.”
  • “Shit happens to everyone. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. Find your passion and go for it.”

#3 Don’t Fear Rejection

To be a true leader, one must be willing to make the tough choices. To say or do the things that are unpopular. This is the difference between stagnation and upward mobility. The quality that permits an enlisted man to advance to Commanding General. 

11.5% of ENTJs surveyed said they would want their adolescent selves to stop fearing rejection. 

Direct Quotes:

  • “Just because people don’t value you as you are doesn’t mean you don’t have value. It means precisely the opposite. You are free from the bonds they make for themselves.”
  • “Doing things for yourself is key. Do not fear rejection…embrace it, without it…you would not know what success is.”

#4 Take the Time to Learn from Others

A good commander spends time in the trenches. Nobody is handed mastery. It must be cultivated, earned, and perfected. The master must begin as a student in order to gain proficiency.

11% of ENTJs would tell their younger selves to take the time to learn from others.

Direct Quotes:

  • “Read up on Atkins and just cut the carbs – don’t fluff around with the other shit. You are beautiful. Learn to ask for help from adults – they won’t bite and they are not on a pedestal!”
  • “Learn how to react to helpful criticism – don’t be so scared of it. Learn how to learn. You are cleverer than you think right now.”
  • “Learn from others who are more present in the moment. Learn how to ask questions – not judge!”

#5 Be More Patient With The People Around You

ENTJs inferior cognitive function (aka Blind Spot) is Introverted Feeling. This means feelings are not a conscious part of their decision making process, usually.

Some ENTJs overcome this handicap by attempting to create industries that empower others and contribute in a sustainable way, such as Jack Welch.

8% of ENTJs wish they had been more patient with the people in their lives.  

Direct Quotes:

  • “Practice gratitude and be kind and thoughtful of others. There is a whole lotta life happening around you.”
  • “Continue to develop your intuition. It will serve you well. Not everyone perceives and processes the world as you do, so have patience with them as best you can.”
  • “Stay out of trouble. Apply yourself to your schoolwork… you’re really good at it. Take better care of Mom.”

We would love to hear more about the advice ENTJs would give to their teenage selves. Please share them in the comments below.

 

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Showing 12 comments
  • Resha
    Reply

    20 year old female ENTJ here. I’ll keep it short and sweet.

    What I will tell to my 15 year old self (and in general, to all 15 year olds out there):

    – Make it an uncompromising ideal to be productive in the summer. Make it as productive as you can. Use this time to step back from the hustle and bustle of schoolwork and think long and hard about your future. Invest time in reading more books in business and whatever field it is that you want to get into. Use this time to learn about the art of investing in stocks. Use this time to develop and grow as a person.

    – Everyday, spend time with family. I’m not talking about electronic communication with Mom and Dad. I’m talking about real, face-to-face conversations with the people you care about. Plan activities and road trips together. If you have a part time job and can afford it, heck, spoil the shit out of your parents by taking them out for dinner in a nearby restaurant. Love them and tell them this everyday.

    – Don’t be afraid of joining sports teams or taking up a physical extracurricular. I was too isolated in my high school years and was arrogant enough to believe that I only needed intellectual pursuits. Well, it turns out I’m more of a jock type than the nerd type. Seriously, find a sport, martial art, or whatever. Invest your time in it and build some self-confidence.

    – Invest in learning how to program or code. There’s this site called freecodecamp.org and it gives you the basic foundation on how to become a web developer. Don’t be afraid to learn new skills, especially things like art or writing. They have the potential to become alternative sources of income if you market them to the right audience and client base. Don’t be afraid of taking the unconventional route to earning income. There is nothing wrong with that.

    – Learn the importance of being tactful and considerate of other people. While you may disagree with their ideas and opinions, every person you meet is someone that knows something that you don’t. Humble yourself and restrain the impulse to say something for the sake of saying something. I hate to say it, but sometimes, you’re not the smartest person in the room, nevermind the whole planet. Don’t make it a habit of talking more than you should listen.

    – Don’t make it a habit to hold on to grudges and anger. Unresolved issues can have the potential impact your relationships, especially your relationships at the workplace. The tendency to become angered easily is not an honorable trait. If you inadvertently find yourself in a situation where tempers are exploding everywhere, get out of there and if you are in a position to help, focus on diffusing it, instead of making it personal.

    – Find a non-profit or cause that you care about and volunteer your time to help out in whatever capacity you can. This helps to develop your inferior Fi and it might just prove valuable to you someday.

    – Don’t be afraid of being the lone wolf for the time being, especially when you’re in your high school years. Better to keep your integrity and your focus than hanging out with the wrong crowd and ending up breaking a few of your bones.

    – In college, remember that you’re paying for the connections, not the education. I’m in my second year of college as of writing this, and I can’t believe no one said this to me when I was your age. Therefore, remember this. You go to college and pay for the connections they have. Use this and invest in this.

  • S
    Reply

    I am a 30 year old ENTJ non-binaru woman. I work hard and i have a job i feel passionate about, working as an environmental program manager. I busted my ass through undergrad and grad school and am finally finding my way professionally, and have a solid set of friends, and most importantly have done the work to not feel so insecure about my identiyy and friendship loyalities because therapy helped me to establish the self confidence people think that ENTJ’s always have when realistically we often are desperate for affirmation and approval from those we feel worthy to give it. Things are falling into place except when it comes to making romantic connections and this is a truly hard struggle. I was in a 7 year relationship that lasted from 19-26 and while that was young i feel such a partnership void and am really trying to feel content without a worthy partner but ive been throwing myself into work which i guess works out well, i dont know that this was helpful but these are my entj struggles…..

  • Barb
    Reply

    To ENTJ Females from a 48 Year Old ENTJ Female: That sometimes the things you value most in yourself; intelligence, optimism, confidence, maturity, looks, charisma, athleticism, diversity of interests… would’ve taken you a very long way… if only you were a man.

    1. Unfortunately, if you are a woman like me who gravitates towards the world of men (for either career or fun or both), know that while you may sometimes be allowed a seat inside the doors, you will never be a member of the Good ‘Old Boys’ Club. And as an ENTJ, you will likely be viewed as “intimidating”, “a challenge” or “a threat”. But not “one of them”, which is likely what you really want. Because while we have women friends we value very highly, there is a certain element of… competition… aggression… debate… boldness… “oneupsmanship”… that we just can’t get with them. It’s something we crave… thirst for… need… to feel alive.

    2. And as we try to quench that thirst for… aggressive… logical… debate about… anything! The rate of rainwater falling into a drain! How many basketballs fit inside a small crater on the moon! The feasibility of non-dorky VR glasses! Know that your motives will always be questioned.

    *Women will always assume you want to sleep with their men and that’s why you are debating the merits of yellow vs black rubber boots. Learn to debate with the man with looking at and talking with the woman. This is frustrating since eye contact is one of our most natural conversational tools.

    *Men will always assume you know they are only debating with you to sleep with you so don’t expect them to want to hang out next weekend if you don’t.

    3. As an optimist with big dreams, you are always looking for someone to learn from. Even better, you are always looking for someone to recognize the potential you know is in yourself and who has the means to help you fulfill that potential. Most every successful person can trace their start back to one person without whom they never would’ve gotten where they were. As ENTJs, it is in our DNA to seek out successful people and “show off our tail feathers”. But as women, this can have unintended consequences. Never, ever compromise your reputation or integrity, no matter who they are or what they threaten you with. Know they are just trying to manipulate you and will never follow through with it. Hold your head high, be professional, be polite and walk away. As ENTJs, the hardest thing for us to do is to tell someone about it. I walked away and told no one but 25 years later the hurt from that dashed hope and rejection is still felt.

    • nono
      Reply

      Your not non binary, you are what you are assigned at birth

  • Brett Butler
    Reply

    Wow I was on the fence because situationally I’m either an ENTP or an ENTJ but after reading this list I thought they were talking directly to me. Amazing list and even at 25 I concur with all of it, I wish I would have been willing to take more chances, go against what popular opinion/deal with rejection better when I was younger/in college.

  • LoRa
    Reply

    I am a 49 year old ENTJ woman and I completely concur with this entire list. I often wish I could go back in time and mentor myself to #1 Not be afraid to pursue a business degree, so I could be my own boss. #2 Invest in DRiP accounts EARLY!!! #3 Don’t worry if you can’t find a suitable mentor, (especially after my amazing Dad died) there are plenty of mentors in books! #4 Stop wasting time with foolish people who are going nowhere. Learn to recognize people who glaze over when you talk and move on early. #5 You may be the youngest in your family, but that doesn’t mean they are right about you. Anyone who thinks they need to tell you what you need to change about yourself can’t see the real you anyway, so stop using your TeNi to determine who you are and start using it to become who YOU want to be!

  • Ofir
    Reply

    OH YES! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

    It’s like “Here, learn from the mistakes of people who are exactly you, and don’t make their mistakes”.

    I’m starting to believe in god.

  • Marco
    Reply

    I’m 17 and I’m an ENTJ man. I almost cried after reading these suggestions, because I needed them so much. Now I know what to do. Thanks.

  • katya
    Reply

    That the loneliness would get better – and that as an ENTJ woman once I was out of the strait jacket of school and university and could find a job which utilized my brain and energy I would become a much desired employee and a popular date – 50 years later that’s still the case

  • Bcaca
    Reply

    I’m an 17 entj women.

    Many of this I learned throw the time but they are usefull either

    • Megan
      Reply

      I am also 17 and an ENTJ woman! This article was extremely insightful and reminded me that there are other leaders just like me ?

    • Giorgio
      Reply

      18 year old ENTJ

      Imagine a ENTJ network around the globe

      Instagram: giorgioentj

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