Podcast – Episode 0008 – Smuggling Emotions

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On this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about emotions… how we express them and often smuggle them when they are unpleasant.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • This podcast episode will talk about smuggling emotions.
  • Donkey Smuggling – When we are using a situation to experience an emotion that’s wanting to get out but were not comfortable with the emotion, we tend to use another situation that’s totally disproportionate or unrelated to it.
  • Smuggling is an unhealthy way to express emotions.
  • Oftentimes it can be easier to see other people smuggling emotions than ourselves.
  • The easiest way to identify an emotional smuggle is if your emotional response is totally disproportionate to the situation.
  • As humans, if we are exposed to an emotion that we feel we can’t express, we often channel it to a preferred emotion we feel that we can express.
  • Enneagram – Is a system indicating that we have a tendency to favor one of three gross emotions – anger, shame and fear.
  • Fear – Experiences a lot of anxiety and are stressed out when they feel threatened
  • Anger – Usually the ones who get and jump to some form of anger
  • Shame – Generally reflected back on to the individual.
  • One of the biggest traps of being in Personal Development is thinking out of certain phases where you’re not in permission to feel just like other people who are not as developed.
  • You can see a push and pull relationship with people in Personal Development. Giving yourself permission to be on your lower self is part of the journey.
  • There’s a distinction between understanding, embodying and holding space for your emotion vs smuggling.
  • The reason why smuggling is not a preferred method is because of its unconscious nature.
  • Emotions have to be dealt with and processed.
  • Loop – When we are in a very emotional state, we can get to a point that we’re very uncomfortable with the intensity of the situation. We feel like we had enough but we can’t handle it anymore. So we stop at a certain level, leading us stuck and not being able to get rid of the emotion.
  • Process through the emotion and let it happen.
  • On a neurological level, the emotion cannot last 8 minutes. Fully experience it all the way.
  • By going thought the entire experience, you’re less likely to smuggle later. It’s a skill that has to be built and developed. Eventually, you are going to express emotions in a healthy and productive way.
  • Start out by only observing your own smuggles. Keep it to just you calling out your own.

On this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about emotions... how we express them and often smuggle them when they are unpleasant. #smugglingemotion

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Showing 6 comments
  • melanie
    Reply

    You mentioned “smuggling emotions” in a recent episode and it absolutely blew my mind. I DO THAT😭.

    Anyway. I googled “smuggling emotions” and look what popped up! You guys did a whole episode (2014!) on this very subject.

    I can not thank you enough for your podcast. You’re endlessly illuminating things for me.

    One of the oddest discoveries I’ve made recently is how much a value introverted thinkers! I’m INFJ who’s brain completely lights up around those who are dominant in introverted thinking.

    I realized I have a huge disposition to want to drill down, dissect & make sense of things in this particular way… though always comes out sloppy.

    But when I’m with strong introverted thinkers it just lights my brain right up. It feels like a gift to know this.

    And puts into perspective why my desire to have dissenting conversations with every person i meet is not appropriate. I thought I was too much, too intense, too deep and needed to tone myself down. Now I realized one element to why certain people can not enjoy those kind of conversation. Very helpful!

  • Rachael
    Reply

    I just discovered your podcast and have been listening to it for about a week. Had to pop on and comment on this one about Smuggling emotions. This… this is going to be a breakthrough for me, I can tell. I both smuggle and stack my emotions. I’m an INTJ female as well though maybe not as well developed. Working on it. Thanks for pointing these things out for me!

  • Matt
    Reply

    You can build a house with a hammer or bludgeon a person to death with it. <3

  • Claire
    Reply

    Im an INFP bordering an ISFP I am guilty of this but also struggle a lot with internalizing it when other people (particularly loved ones) are smuggling emotions or suppressing some find of frustration. Even when I try to dismiss this as irrational, I can’t help but absorb their energy and feel like I’m somehow responsible. And whether i am or not I don’t know how to stop personalizing their bad mood, so it just starts eroding my own sense of personal certainty and confidence… do you have any suggestions for exercises i can use to combat this? This podcast is so great! Thank you for all the amazing worm you’re doing!

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      Have you tried calling the emotions out loud as soon as you’re aware of them? It will lead to a lot of uncomfortable but necessary conversations. You can also express emotions through art. Do what you can to get them out of you and into the outside world. Keeping them bottled up to stack will create outbursts.

  • Melody
    Reply

    I was just thinking that EFT, or the Emotional Freedom Technique, might be a good tool to suggest for dealing with these kinds of emotions. It seems kind of weird and woo woo but I have found it helpful.

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