Podcast – Episode 0086 – ENFP Personality Type Advice

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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type.

In this podcast on the ENFP personality type you’ll find:

  • ENFP
  • Sometimes ENFPs don’t know what the right decision is until after they make the decision.
  • ENFP Survey
  • ENFPs struggle with decision-making.
  • Clarity comes after they are in action and it feels so inefficient to them.
  • Janus-like quality: walking contradictions
  • Joel is an ENFP
  • ENFPs can go down the road of allowing their emotions to run the show.
  • Or they get the message that their emotions can’t be trusted, so they lock down those emotions and ignore their gut.
  • Over-emotional vs. over-thinking: same root and the same solution
  • ENFPs will commit to something (roles, relationships, images, projects, jobs) then realize it isn’t right for them and they may have to hurt someone to extract themselves.
  • This is why they get the reputation of being flighty because they are afraid to commit out of fear of making the wrong decision.
  • Behavior is an emergent of how your mind is wired.
  • Car Model
  • The Driver of an ENFP is Extraverted Intuition (Ne). We’ve nicknamed it “Exploration.”
  • Ne is a learning process
  • It is all about messing with the external environment to see patterns emerge.
  • Speculative conclusions based on patterns it sees.
  • Behind the curtain thinking
  • Ne vs Ni podcast
  • ENFPs get so good at pattern recognition they see things the average person does not see.
  • Ne is very optimistic. Always looking for possibilities and potential.
  • Too many possibilities.
  • ENFPs copilot is Introverted Feeling (Fi) – “Authenticity.”
  • Authenticity is about doing what feels in alignment
  • What are the nuances of what I am feeling?
  • What is ethical for me?
  • ENFPs make their best decisions by using Authenticity
  • Behind Authenticity is the 10 yr old Extraverted Thinking (Te) – “Effectiveness”
  • What works? What gets the job done?
  • Authenticity requires embodiment before it knows what it wants, so it is easier to skip Authenticity and go to the tertiary to “get the job done.”
  • Effectiveness can lead to a lot of decisions that the ENFP doesn’t want to make but will make to be more expeditious or considerate of others.
  • Te tertiary is about getting into action.
  • Te short circuits the energetic wastefulness of Fi.
  • Society is impatient. It doesn’t want to wait for the ENFP to find clarity.
  • When the ENFP makes too many quick decisions, they end up committing to something that isn’t right for them.
  • If one of their values is commitment, they won’t go back on their decision. They sit in misery to honor their commitment.
  • Or they commit to nothing out of fear of being trapped
  • Behind the driver is the inferior function (3 yr old) Introverted Sensing – “Memory.”
  • Memory is about precedence. Status quo.
  • Memory is a blind spot for ENFPs and can hijack their life
  • When they feel stuck, without options, depressed, trapped – it is a sign the ENFP is in that memory process.
  • It can feel like life is being choked out of them, and it is never going to get better.
  • Can show up in times of illness.
  • ENFPs are already so aware of their body interactions due to Introverted Feeling that illness can seem overwhelming.
  • Acknowledge that you aren’t stuck. It isn’t real. It is just a story. Time to get back into your Driver of Extraverted Intuition.
  • Introverted Feeling is the solution to a lot of these problems.
  • ENFPs need to slow waaaaay down.
  • ENFPs are accustomed to moving fast, but they have to approach decisions from a very slow, internal viewpoint.
  • Recognize that Authenticity can be fickle.
  • Keep context in a way that supports Introverted Feeling.
  • The fussy artist lives in Fi – if the conditions aren’t right the Fi can’t get something done, but the ENFP wants to get something done due to their tertiary Te, so they jump into action.
  • Allow yourself to be fussy
  • For an ENFP their highest leverage point is what they are saying NO to.
  • That way they aren’t overwhelmed by the things they have committed but aren’t right for them.
  • Opportunities may pass you by. That’s okay.
  • You begin to realize that a lot of opportunities you were chasing weren’t in alignment anyway.
  • You surround yourself with satisfying relationships and opportunities.
  • Every personality type gives something to the social ecosystem that no other type can provide.
  • ENFPs bring embodiment: they have to embody something fully to grasp it and bring it to others.
  • Like a tuning fork sending out vibrations to others to make others feel optimistic.
  • ENFPs see others at their best.
  • People seek out ENFPs because they love how they feel around them.
  • Michael Moore is an ENFP who performs the things he is convicted about.
  • ENFPs love being coaches, directors, performers, etc.
  • Another challenge ENFPs have is the tendency to attract emotional or social leeches.
  • The ENFP may start to learn that they can’t stay present with people or someone will trap them into a vortex of social leeches.
  • Lots of reasons why people perceive ENFPs as flighty – they avoid going deep with people.
  • Infrastructure stacks over time and they don’t realize they are overwhelmed until it happens and they break down.
  • Why are you keeping your commitment? Is this a value of yours? Or are you afraid of upsetting someone?
  • ENFPs need to permit themselves to change plans if necessary.
  • The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron
  • ENFPs find themselves surrounded by Crazymakers.
  • Fi can find any emotion in their heart or mind so if they encounter someone who is emotionally struggling the ENFP can experience what it is like being that person, so they have a lot of sympathy for them.
  • If an ENFP can find any emotion in their heart, they can find any motivation in their heart, and they are aware of the dark places we all carry within us.
  • Emotions are the seat of motivation and emotions are powerful for ENFPs.
  • ENFPs try to avoid the wrong emotions.
  • The dragon’s job is to guard the gold.
  • Being able to understand the human experience and sympathize with people in their darkest space is on the other side of facing those dragons.
  • An insecurity ENFPs expressed in the survey is the sense that they are the dumbest person in the room.
  • ENFPs are brilliant and highly intuitive, but articulation can be a challenge.
  • “I feel strongly about this; I’m not sure why but I think the awareness will come later.”
  • It feels empowering to do this because it buys the necessary time for Fi to do its job.
  • Trusting your gut is the first challenge before anyone else can trust it.
  • Emotion is deep
  • Feelings are temporary
  • Determine the difference when you are feeling it.
  • Understand that everything you do is chasing an emotion in the hopes of gaining the necessary motivation.
  • What emotion do you want to feel?
  • It isn’t about doing. It is about being and feeling.
  • What emotion is most essential for you right now? Excitement? Empowerment? Romance?
  • Make a list of how you can feel the desired emotion.
  • If you are in the middle of a fight stop to ask yourself, “What emotion do I want to feel right now?” you will begin to access emotions you want on command.

In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type. #ENFP #MBTI #ENFPpersonality

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Showing 86 comments
  • Lore Murdock
    Reply

    I’m hearing this 4 years later! Thanks for this info.
    I’m almost 57. At 19 I married an ISTJ that was 11 years older than me. He lasted 22 years.
    Even though that time was very difficult, I learned so much! I have written communication protocols at a corporate level, become a professional organizer, personal shopper, a decorated and faux painter, all self taught. I took a test recently that said I am 54% left brained and my first inclination it to analyze. I thought I was an artist! So definitely an enigma. When I was younger I would have resonated more with what was said here but I learned (the hard way, being bullied and shamed) to do things in the most effective way and I began to see the joy and sense in this and took off running in new ways, as I described. I am a hairdresser by trade, but as you can see from some of my decisions, if I don’t want to do something, I don’t. I’m nice about it. If I see something does not work, I’m out. It’s very Important for me to live in being effective and not just from the crowd and emotion. I realized a mustang. I don’t care to be the stallion but don’t think you’re going to slap a saddle on me and spur me to somewhere I do t want to go. Not. It took me a lot of years to do last minute cancellations and the I swing to “no is the new yes”. Now I don’t shame myself into being what others want me to be. Funny how they only say that when they don’t want to make use of my many talents, generosity and abilities. Now I say no and mean it and I say yes and mean it. I’m also happy to say I don’t know. It’s finally okay to be me! I’m back in the driver’s seat. Thank you for the reminder that we need to to to process! One friend said that to me one day “take your time” and it felt so it that it helped me to slow way down, from then on! Then I have also shared this gift with others: stressed clerks, kids, older ones…it’s been wonderful. Thanks again!

  • Firefly
    Reply

    Really good! A lot of this really resonated with me a lot.

    I had a laugh at the times when you talked about relationships… I 100% fall into that category where you can see the best parts of everyone and it causes you to end up in relationships with people who actually suck (to put it bluntly) or you put up with someone’s junk for way too long – and then, to make it even worse, when you realize that this is who they really are, or they really are being unreasonable, and put your foot down, they’re so used to you being agreeable that they flip out on you. It’s happened to me so many times!

    And I really liked the bit about starting with emotion rather than action. I used to be all about my Fi, but in recent years have been avoiding it…. now I’m trying to get back on the bike, haha. Identifying what emotion you’re striving for really does clarify your actions better. I really like that a lot.

    The parts I didn’t agree with – first and foremost, the stuff about not feeling as smart as other people. I know I’m just as smart as others, and maybe smarter in some respects. I have that pattern recognition thing *nailed* – like recently, my brother was pretty impressed that I called a plot point and character’s motivation in a show we were watching to the point where it was almost 100% correct, though he only had an inkling about where it was going. Or like, in university, one of my TAs said I would make a great anthropologist cos I can see so many different angles and could anticipate all her questions and challenges to my ideas. And I think that does make me smart. Actually, my friends often have told me they think it’s pretty cool that I can call people’s motivations, political outcomes, etc. pretty accurately a lot of the time.

    Though, that said, I *do* sometimes find talking with NTs is a little weird, not cos I don’t feel as smart as them, but cos they tend to come at things from a rather different angle and aren’t always willing to consider what I have to say. It’s like they’re coming from one angle, and I propose a view from a different angle (or 3), but cos it’s not *their* angle they don’t want to listen and have a hard time budging from their perch to consider things in a different light.

    Also, I guess I haven’t had too much of an issue with not committing cos I feel like people latch on and it limits me. I’ve gotten fairly good at just telling someone that it’s been really good talking to them, but I really wanted to catch up with a few other people before I (or they) have to go, and just sticking to that. I’ve definitely had my share of leeches, but it really doesn’t affect my overall approach to people or anything.

    Oh, just thinking of that, I liked the tuning fork thing too. Something I noticed in my life that seems to be uncommon in others’ lives is that, especially when I’m feeling at my best, random people just come up to me and start talking to me, & open up to me really fast out of nowhere. And I totally don’t mind it at all. Like, this teenage boy once fell asleep next to me on an airplane, and fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, and I was like, okay sure, and then while he was asleep he sort of grabbed his pillow and put his head in my lap, and I was like,… okay sure, and I only woke him up when my leg started to fall asleep, and he was mortified to realize he had done that, but I really, honestly didn’t mind. Or the other day, a guy came up to me at the train station and just started telling me about how he used to be a car thief, and his whole story about his struggles trying to get on and stay on a straighter path – and I was like, wow, this is so interesting, and really enjoyed hearing the story, and honestly I felt kind of honoured that he would come tell me this stuff when I hadn’t even met him before.

    It was interesting when I realized that that kind of thing doesn’t happen to everyone. Maybe it’s that tuning fork business, hey?

    Oh also, thinking about the “making decisions while in action” stuff, I used to be pretty bad for that. It’s very true that we need to embody things. But my “hack” for that now is to use my super imagination – I just imagine doing something, or not doing it, and see how I feel about it. Even for simple things like deciding what to have for supper. Actually, before I listened to this, I gave my husband some advice using that exact method (to imagine he had made a certain choice about his job, imagine telling all the people involved, imagine not doing this thing, and how does he feel about it?), not even realizing what an ENFP thing that was until I heard the podcast 😛 It made me chuckle.

    So yeah guys, good insights, thank you 🙂

  • stephanie a salavarria
    Reply

    oh my goodness! this podcast has me in tears. i feel validated. i am currently in a state of depression trying to work through authenticity. I’m stuck in memory, failures from the past that keep me stuck in effectiveness. I’m now in a depressive state and can’t get out of this loop. i will continue to plug in here and keep moving forward and following the processes you have suggested in this podcast. many many thanks ❣️

  • Justin.Z
    Reply

    OMG this is sooo how I feel in life… I can’t believe how on point this is! and the problems i find myself in Work and Relationships are pretty much how i feel in these moments.

    • Richard M Wilt
      Reply

      Oh. My. God. This is so spot on! You guys are brilliant. This makes so much sense to me. Oftentimes I feel like I am so out of step with others–and absolutely make LOTS of decisions because I am feel FOMO or I am trying to figure out what’s right for me.

  • Crystal
    Reply

    As an ENFP, I struggle with acknowledging my “exploration” tendencies while also suffering from being too gullible. Granted I’m now over 50 so I’m not as gullible as I used to be; but that weakness is still in me. Shouldn’t exploration cancel out such a weakness?

    Thank you for your response.

  • Helen
    Reply

    I recently discovered your podcast and website whilst doing some research for a book which has a chapter on personality profiling. I have to admit I started listening and I’ve not stopped. Your show has massively opened my eyes and has massively enhanced my own personal growth path.

    I have a few questions I’d like to put to you.

    1. I’m an ENFP / Enneagram 7 / 4 / 9 . I fully identify with this type in all ways. I first got MBTI tested when i was in my early 20’s and like most people took my reading as pretty cool, and accurate but I didn’t dig deeper into the cognitive functions. I lived through my late teens and early 20’s with a very dark cloud of depression hanging over me. I had some very dark times. I know now that that is because I had not been living inline with my personal values. In my mid thirties I had a real crisis and I went to my doctors to say I needed some more support as I’d been on antidepressants since I was 18 but I was still unhappy and not in control of my emotions (in fact I was totally under the control of my emotions and life was like being on a rollercoaster. In tears one minute and bouncing with joy the next. The doctor agreed I needed additional support and I was sent for a Psych consult and within 20 mins I was given the diagnosis as Bipolar (type 2) disorder (there is a family history but I had not considered it myself before as I’ve never suffered from full-blown mania, just hypomania which manifests as periods of intense creativity/productivity). Suddenly my entire life made sense. The highs and lows.
    I was put on a mood stabiliser and it changed my life for the better from day one. Since then I’ve been on a personal growth journey and am starting to do coaching now myself. My question here really is … have you noticed any other ENFP’s who have reported being Bipolar? It seems so intrinsically in our nature I wondered how common it was? I would imagine that Bipolar is a very extreme embodiment of the ENFP persona? Are there other personality types who are prone to psychiatric diagnosis in their extreme embodiments of their personas?

    2. I am married to an INTJ. We are almost like polar opposites in so many ways. I’m creative, he’s analytical, extrov/introv, facts v feelings. I really vibe off our differences but I’ve lived the last 17 years with Andy, feeling like I was broken because he has struggled with my different viewpoints in life. He likes things tidy, I’m messy. I’ve been told i’m clumsy, flighty, irresponsible, careless and immature. Around the time of my crisis and my diagnosis of bipolar I realised that I wasn’t broken and that some of it was due to a disorder but my type analysis has given me the feeling that I am valid in how i show up in the world. I think this system has given me and must give others such comfort. My main issue now is that my husband is militantly against Myers Briggs and indeed any personality profiling. He takes an uber scientific/academic view of everything and has read all of the criticisms of the system and can only see the bad in it. (i.e boxing people, the dangers of using it in recruitment etc). I too have read all of this and I know that it was only ever intended as a tool for personal / interpersonal growth, but I wanted to know how you would argue the cause to someone who is so massively against the system. In some ways my husband is quite closed minded to things he has made his mind upon. I’m writing a book (as i mentioned previously). It is a self help book based on my journey from crisis to a place of elevated personal growth and understanding. I am intending to write one chapter on how i’ve found personality profiling so fundamentally life changing but I want to acknowledge that it’s not something that everyone agrees with. What would you say to my husband?

    • Sharada
      Reply

      I love this! It really helped. I mean I was really stressed overworking and using that effectiveness process so much and now I’m like – it’s fine if I use it. – as long as I use it through authenticity! I mean this was really meaningful! Your analysis and ideas changed my life from depression and suicidal ideation to empowerment! So seriously, thank you so much, and all the best inspiring others!

    • Samaritan
      Reply

      I would tell your husband nothing since he is closed minded and possibly stubborn. Talking to him about things that interest you ?. Might lead to conflicting criticism, or he might just ruin the moment of inspiration. Some ideas are best shared with specific groups of people. Aside from that, facebook has groups for ENTP’s I think ?.

    • Joanna
      Reply

      Hi, I am an ENFP married to an INTJ as well. I thought I had ADHD and tried to explain to my INTJ it is really difficult for me being what he would expect from me. I am messy, immature, impulsive etc too. I suffocated me. And made him so sad. He had TOLD me what he expected from me and I did not accomplish. Now we agreed to move apart so that I do not interfare with his organized ways of taking care of the children. I want to play the piano in the middle of putting the kids to bed… that kind of stuff. I want our lives to be happy, spontaneous and a bit crazy. I work as a maths anf physics teacher and I am very successful proffessionally. In work with students ages 13-16. What I did (he hates MBTI too) was to NOT talk about it at all, to respecy that whish of his. But to send him a link about ENFP-INTJ relationships, about what an INTJ child and an ENFP child needs (our daughters) noting that he as an INTJ is very important to our little INTJ. And then I sent a text from Anna Moss about how INTP:s often are misdiagnozed as Aspbergers or ADD. He is strongly against diagnozing kids with ADHD and did not beleive my selfdiagnosis either. To him it is all lack of self discipline due to faulty upbringing. He had strict boundaries as a kid, I did not (thank God… Or pehaps some more would have done me good). Finally I sent him Anna Mosses final words in her book about INTJ ( he melted) and told him (now I dared to speak a little) I now truly understand his needs finally, thanks to MBTI. And I also showed that in practice. His world view has grown. It is possible. With the right strategy.

    • Firefly
      Reply

      It’s a little funny you say he’s so against it, cos I was aware of MBTI stuff for a while (I took a personality psych class back in the day), but didn’t really look into it deeper. But the person who got me into MBTI stuff recently, and in depth, is a friend who’s INTJ. He says it really helps him understand people’s motivations and viewpoints better, cos the systematic nature of it is something he can grasp better than just trying to get into people’s shoes.

      I dunno if you’ve resolved this at this point, but think definitely emphasizing that it’s a system of describing how different people interact with the world might help. Some people seem to view it almost like astrology, that it’ll tell you everything about your life and all the people of one type are the same, and they *do* box people in or stereotype others. But that can happen with *anything*, if it’s misused. People like systems, they like stereotypes, and so they’re prone to doing that with anything that’ll take it, cos it’s in our nature to streamline things that way.

      And honestly, there are some people who are against psychology *in general* cos they don’t feel it’s rigourously scientific enough.

      But at it’s core, MBTI descriptive more than it is predictive. All the functions are just a way to describe different psychological processes and where they’re focused (ie inward or outward). A person tends to rely on some of these processes more often and more easily than others, and that is what the type is describing. Maybe try telling him that you don’t expect this to be a magic bullet, that you know the system has strengths and weaknesses, but that understanding the processes you tend to lean on will be a springboard for personal growth?

      It’s a tough one there…. in my experience, when the reason someone rejects something is cos it’s not scientifically rigorous enough, it’s *very* hard to get through to them. Usually that’s indicative of a relatively narrow way of assessing things, and the fact is that some things just *aren’t* scientific enough in nature to even be examined that way in a true sense. But my view is that MBTI has given me a lot of good personal insights, too… and it doesn’t need to be validated on those terms to be of value, if it’s led to some useful personal insights for you. Maybe that might even be somethign to bring up – maybe you can ask him, not to agree with or value the system itself, but at least to appreciate that it’s bringing useful insights to you, and to support you on that level?

      Anyway enough rambling from me. Good luck 🙂

    • Naomi
      Reply

      Hiya, I would say, show by example. And don’t mention about it/the test/etc..let it help you and just enjoy your life, because you know yourself better-but personality tests are not the whole person-he might have to come to things in a different way- Hope one day he does take it because if he could just understand how important it would be for you (because of who you are and how the test has helped you) that would be great, but if that doesn’t happen you need to find the common ground that is about you as people(sure you already know this, but thought I’d say)-respect his decision and show by example-and enjoy the results of the test for yourself- All the best!

  • Frank Burroughs
    Reply

    As an ENFP, this podcast has taken my understanding of how I am wired to a much deeper level, and many of the points that you raise I can see reflected in my own experience.

    For example, when I am under pressure I can see that my weaknesses come out. I think your car model is a very insightful and helpful way for me to think about this.

    My exploration strength has led me to be extremely good at business strategy, innovation and dreaming up unconventional solutions. I have had roles where I have been given time and space to break new ground and bring ideas to reality. These opportunities have been fantastic and I get a real sense of flow and personal achievement from them. Your tuning fork analogy is a great way of explaining this.

    In a couple of other businesses I think I was seen as a bit flighty and not so intelligent. Honestly this did annoy me at the time, but looking back I stayed far too long in those companies. In both cases I was given roles that was more about implementation than innovation, which I could do but which neutralised my strength for exploration. I think my skills may have been threatening in some way.

    I’m now at the time of life where I am thinking about easing back a bit and going in a new direction. Your insights on thinking about emotions will help a lot I believe. My question is am I too late to be thinking about personal growth, or is this relevant for everyone at all ages?

  • Melissa
    Reply

    Wow! I listened to this episode at work and almost coming to tears because I heard myself being described back to me. I have always been interested in people and personality, and have taken various tests throughout my life. I always ALWAYS thought I was an introvert! Whenever I would express this to friends (or strangers I had just met that instantly became my friends) I would get strange looks of disbelief as my friends would tell me that simply wasn’t possible, haha. My most recent personality test that I took about a six months ago revealed the ENFP, and I was overjoyed to get an E. I always wanted to be an extrovert. Listening to this episode and having this type broken down for me was insanely helpful in allowing me to understand myself a little better and to know I am not the only one with some of these feelings, or thought processes. Anyway, I could literally talk about this all day! I will definitely continue digging into learning more about my ENFP self! Thank you for putting in the time and effort to put this podcasts together! It has done so much for me already, as I’m sure it has and will continue to do for others!
    Have a great day!

  • Brittany
    Reply

    YES YES YES!!!!! THIS…IS AMAZING!!! Freaking BOMB. Whoohoo!!!! THANK YOU!!

  • ver
    Reply

    awesome, but i’m feel smart and can ague good

  • Kirsty
    Reply

    Great podcast thank you. For years I believed I was an INFP but a recent test came up ENFP so I am embracing it and listening to the information. This first podcast left me a little feaked out with its acuracy and gave me goosebumps. A little worried I may be going down the wrong path though but it does feel spot on. Allot to process!

  • alice
    Reply

    Wow, this was so helpful. Thank you!! I love the closing tool of tuning into the emotional state desired, instead of getting caught up in so many actions, without being clear about what they are supporting. That was amazingly helpful. I have tested as an ENFP but also as an INFP, depending on the mood and day it seems. I relate slightly more to the ENFP stuff. I excited to start thinking in this new way.

  • Adam
    Reply

    Hello. I am an ENFP and have listened to this podcast last week and it has really resonated with me. I am about to start veterinary school in the fall in UK at either the University of London or the University of Edinburgh. The exploratory side of me wants to travel (I’m from the US) and I know that I will be doing that in either of these locations. The trouble I am having is with the passengers seat of the metaphorical car, the authenticity part of me. I have only been in small places before and really enjoyed them. I did my undergraduate in New Orleans, studied abroad in a small town in New Zealand. Both of which were great. I enjoyed them because of the people I met and living in a smaller area allowed me to feel as though I could lay claim in a way to those places and make them my own. That being said, I am having so much trouble with this decision on veterinary school and it is very hard for me to figure it out while being in alignment. The deadline however, is approaching this week. I feel as though my emotional portion wants me to go to the University of Edinburgh because I feel as though because it is smaller I can manage it more and it will be more like my previous experiences. It is definitely more of a feeling than a logic, which is pretty nonexistent. London is a lot more logic: I have more friends there, it’s a more international city, I can travel very easily, the school will allow me more easy networking opportunities since it is in a city. However, the feeling associated isn’t as strong. After listening to this podcast, it makes me feel as though I have to go with this “gut feeling” in order to be happy. And I feel as though I want to go to London to challenge myself while I am young (24-28 will be my ages in school), but because I have not been exposed to a city in a positive light, my gut tells me it is not what I want. It almost even makes me feel like it is too much for me, and it is just so frustrating as an ENFP. I do feel very trapped by emotional pull. I feel like if I choose London, my body will not let me be happy with the decision because it feels I should go to Edinburgh. Truth be told if I could just choose I would want to go to London for the experience. but the other idea is: is my body right? Do I maybe really just want to go to Edinburgh and I am just trying to push for London so hard instead when it may just not be right? I truly feel like I really want to be in London because I want to have the experience, but it is so hard being an ENFP and not being able to go with quick decision making. I don’t know what to do. I definitely understand this trapped feeling, because I feel like if I make the decision I would like to experience, it may not be in alignment with me because it is way out of my comfort zone. Any help would be appreciated.

  • Anna Luna
    Reply

    This podcast is life changing. Thank you so much for making it and giving me much to chew on.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the feedback, Anna! 🙂

  • Claudia
    Reply

    As an ENFP you don’t need to ask to share, I already did that the moment I read my result and realize how it resonates with me and how it’s helping me! XD
    Thank you for your work it’s really helpful, especially because I started to forgetting who I really am, I m completely lost and this is helping me to find the path to myself again! Also it’s nice not to feel alone n some struggles!
    So I am working on my authenticity but most of all I think I a struggling with exploration. I wake up some days and feel completely bored I waste a lot of time doing things that just entertain me, I don’t feel energetic I m lazy and this depresses me! I used to have aspirations of conquering the world and now it feels like I gave up( and I am just 27 yrs old)! Is there something you can suggest to activate my exploration again? To be more curious instead of afraid?
    Thank you!!

    • Samaritan
      Reply

      I’m Samaritan, My extroverted intuition and sensing brought me to truck driving. As an ENFP I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Like one thing will lead to another. I don’t plan things because it wouldn’t be much of an adventure plus I would be hesitant to do something. Also my other functions would tune in and confuse me. Sometimes to make a change of habits, it’s better to not think just do. Cause when you are doing it then your more than likely to have the dominant functions of your mind take over and you get a better feel from change. We ENFP type are able to adapt and improvise in any situation. In conclusion just do it. Whatever it is you want to do just do it. Your mind will function at it’s best when you’re in the midst of something you are doing. That is my opinion from my perspective on how to get myself unstuck. One last thing. If you really want something bad enough you will find a way. Your mind is an amazing thing. Use it.

  • Louise
    Reply

    I am an ENFP and definitely resonated with the strengths and challenges of being that personality. I have always been driven by exploration (LOVE that term). However, for a long time I would find myself in commitments that didn’t fit (work, relationships, etc.) and feel bad when I realized they weren’t working for me any more. I DO value loyalty, so that conflicted with changing my position once I got more information/data. Luckily, that “phase” is over and I have learned to slow down and take the time to be authentic. For me as an extroverted “doer”, turning inward and slowing down initially felt like “swimming in glue” but it has allowed me to develop my co-pilot Authenticity…the PERFECT copilot for my Exploring! Not skipping straight to EFFICIENCY (due to impatience, frustration, lack of self compassion) has changed my life to one of MUCH more fulfillment and joy. I just didn’t have those words in the past…just knew I needed to do something different if I wanted different results and found a great life coach/counselor. I also totally relate to what you call our Blind Spot…especially when I am sick. Finally, I agree that we ENFPs want to embody something that we find deeply meaningful and authentic. I am 60 now and wish that anyone younger, wondering why they need to slow down and develop authenticity finds this encouraging of their process!!! I have found it to be a very joyful way to live, now that I respect and understand where I am coming from. I have respect for other’s viewpoints, but no apologies, just gratitude! I am looking forward to learning more from personality hacker. Thank you all for doing this work!!!

  • Anna
    Reply

    Guys, I’m an ENFP and I’ve got to say this felt spot on. I absolutely loved listening to your views that were so well articulated, and encouraged by the positive dynamic you have together. I work as a designer for a marketing agency that works with charity clients. I’ve started to see the job of the creative team (my team) is to work as emotional conduits of the stories that fuel the NGOs we work for – each of us specialising in different media (I think most of the others are infps). My first job was for a big tech company where constant (shiny) innovation sparked my enthusiasm, but it was around the time where online activism seemed to be even more groundbreaking, so I followed that calling. So learning about ‘Authenticity’ has really given me a retrospective appreciation for the path I have taken. My partner and best friend are INTPs, with many INTJs around too. I appreciate them all, but I definitely understand having them need logical explanations with my arguments, and it really has made me doubt myself at times. Will definitely take on your advice with asking for time to map out that intuitive journey, although the ones I know well have pretty much figured that out!

  • Carlos Castanho
    Reply

    Thank you. The “What emotion you want to create?” question did it for me. That question alone showed me everything I have been sleeping on.

  • Monica Tebbutt
    Reply

    Wow loving the new language to describe my MBTI functions. Have been exposed to the MBTI type processing for the last 16 years as part of building project teams etc but this has just given me a whole new level of understanding of how I operate. I am so much the butterfly ENFP

    It validates exactly how I have operated all my life. My gut always steers me right. Absolutely inspired now. Can’t wait to explore some more

  • Marcy
    Reply

    I’m grateful for this podcast. As an ENFP, I can completely relate to having trouble with making decisions. I often find in “my gut” I know the answer but I don’t listen to my gut because I’m afraid of either hurting someone else or that I don’t REALLY know what I want. I seem to especially go through this when it comes to intimate relationships. I often will enter into a relationships or stay in relationships even if I know they aren’t right for me. I have a lot of trouble disappointing someone else or believing I know what is right for me. Any advice for this ENFP?!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Why are you willing to disappoint yourself? Why do you have to “take the hit?”

      It’s good to put others first – but why do you seem to find yourself putting YOU second? Why are you willing to disappoint the only person that will be there until the day you die… YOU?

      My advice would be to work on your own worth as a person. Do you deserve to have your inner wisdom honored? Do you deserve disappointment from yourself?

      • Naomi
        Reply

        Thanku Joel- I agree- I think worth can be a very important thing for an ENFP to work on in a world of more sensory, thinking,judging types(who are amazing, dgmw) who may call the ENFP’s strengths weaknesses (go figure!)-

        The ENFP may take more hits in this regard-as a sensory, thinking,judging type is more likely to shoot down the ENFP’s behaviour/ways than an ENFP is to to to them… Thus perpetuating the ENFP not being the best ENFP they can be, eg.not using their intuituve,feeling,authentic strengths but trying to become more sensory,thinking,judging etc

        (Disclaimer-I get on with every type, or don’t know or think about type- because it’s about people over type-and choice over type-love and respect and appreciation of differences-but having learnt about types lately-there have been times that I’ve noticed or this has happened to me)……

        Just because someone doesn’t understand you, doesn’t make you any more worthwhile or worthless- It’s knowing yourself, who you are, what you bring, your strengths, trusting your gut, and working on objectiveness to help counter balance things-but never losing your flow and feelings… It’s about loving who you are and vibing with it always, (in a true way that goes along with our values) and knowing how cool I am regardless of someone elses thoughts/praise/condemnation….oh yeah.. and showing love to someone who is derogatory and thinks the opposite of you or not letting their take get to you because we all have that choice.. God bless.. Cheers

  • Iris
    Reply

    Thank you so much for this podcast. I agree with everything said and i thought i was alone in all of this or that there was something wrong with me. Like, Why do i start projects and never finish? Why do i have this sense of empathy for other people? Why am i so in touch with my emotions? Is it weird to be this positive? Should i follow my gut?
    I’m currently in a very difficult situation because i accepted a job that i will start in 3 days and i don’t feel it’s right in my gut. I’m going nuts because i dont want to make that call saying “sorry i cant…” and it’s so difficult for me to tell a white lie. But this podcast has helped me understand that i can’t go through with this decision. Thank you again. God bless~

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      You are not alone. Glad you are courageous enough to follow your inner wisdom with the new job. Good for you Iris.

  • Stefan
    Reply

    I need help…. I need help so much. I am a male ENFP at the end of his energy. After 7 years of overthinking everything again and again, not making ANY decissions, I was triggered by your facebook group. I listend to podcast 0086 from “Personality Hackers”and my whole problem (one of the main problems) was captured in minute 28/29 of that podcast …. (thinking and analysing things over and over). It felt so much as a relieve that tears kept on coming for about 30 minutes, But I do not have the energy to go on any longer. I hate hate hate this part of myself and it kills me. It kills me literally.

    But somebody please please please …. what is ‘the magic trick’ to get out of this? My partner just left me last week because she can not deal with it any longer, my business is about to collapse because of this, my kids are affected by my whole state of mind…. I do not want to end up like this. All that the ENFP makes so beautifull in its enthousism, creativity and endless energy is coming to me in the complete negative way. It kills me.

    How, how how do I get out of this whole proces of negativism and not making MY decissions, rather then pleasing everyone. I am SOOOO much looking for my internal compas again. I lost it…. Iost it all and I am really about to give up…. Where is my compas and how can I calibrate it again?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Stefan. It sucks that you are having this experience. If you were sitting down to coffee with me (a fellow ENFP)… I would ask you…

      “What do you NOT want to admit right now?”

      Get real honest with yourself. This is how you find your internal compass.

      There are hard identity truths that your true self knows. So start asking and get honest. It’s going to be hard work – but I bet you’ve got it in you.

      This podcast may help:
      http://www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0111-purpose-mapping-with-craig-filek

  • Judi
    Reply

    As an ENFP, this podcast really resonated with me. I’ve had trouble in the past identifying my type because I’m often not as outgoing as typical ENFPs. As I listened to you talking, I remembered that I used to be much more outgoing and realized that a lot of my reluctance to engage is a defense mechanism to protect myself from “emotional leeches.” There have been many people in my life who have glommed onto me because they said I made them feel good – made them laugh – made them feel peaceful – etc. All good things but it was always about what I could give them not about what I needed. Part of my journey into expressing myself fully is to figure out how to take down my defenses when appropriate to let the real me shine through. Here’s to continued growth!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Judi for the comment. Sounds like you are on the right track as an ENFP. I was way more outgoing when I was younger. I’ve gotten into my introverted Authenticity (Fi) process more as an adult. Now when I’m outgoing, it’s less to please others or perform and more about authentically expressing myself in an outward way.

  • ellen
    Reply

    Really like your podcast .. though just the comment about feelings verses emotions towards the end.

    I know there is lot of slippage re the words and I agree with the general advice and of course , we can all frame things how we want. However, i do prefer the words FEELING and emotion defined the other way around for quite a few reason.

    While you probably have you own system of naming and organizing the functions, obviously if wear are talking ENFP etc it is MBTI influenced. Reading various schools of MBTI and understanding the FEELING function as a rational process of valuing ( not emotional reaction) has been crucial to me, and this was how Jung originally used Feeling- .

    Therefore, I do think something gets lost when emotion and feeling are swapped around when discussing enfp etc. Many other types in my experience of more obviously ’emotional’ than people with feeling high in their stack and developed. Therefore , it seems to be sticking with FEELING as the deeper sense and emotion as the transitory is more in line with all of this and less confusing.

    Also, FEELING in quite a bit of philosophical literature relates more to trans personal states like beauty, empowerment etc. and perhaps FELT sense ( in combination with sensation). Of course it’s a vexed area of definition which is why i always like Jungs clarity on it.

    As an mature ENFP, understanding all this distinctions has been crucial and identifying the felt sense around the values ( like when you were talking about embodiment).

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Ellen for the feedback and deeper dive into your perspective on this.

  • Haavard
    Reply

    Wow… I would never have expected journaling to have such a profound effect on the Authenticity process. Amazing way to get a sense of direction and purpose. Thanks to Antonia and Joel for inspiring podcasts and useful tips. Excited to watch for trends and patters that come up during the next months. For types who have a lot of stuff going on in their head, what an amazing way to attain some clarity and go from “mind full” to “mindful”. Thanks a lot!

  • Aleah
    Reply

    My nearest and dearest friend is an ENFP and she is so magical to me! (I’m an ESTJ.) I loved listening to this episode to learn more about her heart and what is driving her. I shared several quotes from this episode and it sparked some very meaningful conversations for us and I know it helped her feel less alone in the world! I so appreciate how you encourage people to dive deep into their strengths and bring those unashamedly as superpowers into the world. That is 100% how I see her, so I’m thankful for an “impartial” source to point her to to show her that it’s not just my love for her that’s shining out when I tell her how awesome she is 😀

  • Paul
    Reply

    I find understanding/discovering the authenticity very difficult. I’m trying to really understand myself and discover what my purpose is. My mind is very focused upon money and the lack of it. I feel like my drive is for money and materialistic things but also aware it won’t solve problems. How would you advise best getting to work on values, authenticity and discovering the true self? Thanks, and great website 🙂

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      One of the best questions I start with is this…

      “What are you NOT willing to admit to yourself right now?”

  • Ralph
    Reply

    I’ve noticed me (ENFP) and my friend (ESFP) have a lot of similarities. We tend to think about the same things. Catching each other, when explaining an idea, and right after saying, “I was thinking the same thing!”. I looked further into this and noticed that the ENFP and ESFP both have Fi and Te as their second and third primary functions. And, I get along really well with my friend, especially when I get into deep conversations with him. It feels as though we have the same issues when it comes to choosing a career and relationships. Fulfilling our value system and thinking similarly like, “Is this the right thing to do?”, “Will what I’m doing make me happy?”. What my question is, will the advice for the ENFP, (using the co-pilot fi, rather than te), also apply to the ESFP?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Yep. You got it. The growth advice is the same for both ENFPs and ESFPs. You may need to do several things differently based on your perceiving differences – but in general terms you can often support each other in your growth process.

  • Xeres
    Reply

    I (INFJ) appreciate this. This will help me be better at supporting a lot of the ENFPs have in my life. My mom, and some of my closest friends are ENFPs.

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Glad you found the podcast helpful in understanding all the ENFPs in your life Xeres.

  • Stacy Parker
    Reply

    I am a ENFP. This podcast really hit home in all aspects. I am a mature ENFP. I separate the behaviors from the person and I stay away from judgment. I have learned to step back and spend time thinking. Not just on the yes or no, but I look at if I can handle (critical thinking) the negative road that I may encounter in that decision. The hardest part about being a mature ENFP is the patience (little bites at a time) speaking the truth of a solution for others in your life, because you can clearly see the behaviors. It is frustrating when you see every ones behaviors, how they fit together for the outcome of where you are standing, yet each of them can only come from their subjective place. As far as jobs for ENFP beyond performance art, there are many professions: counselors, psychiatrist, advocacy, judges, teachers, writers etc. I worked for the Department of Corrections for 10 years, sex offenders for 5 years, Advocacy for 20 plus years and have the goal of a masters in Behavioral Science. I am good at anything I try. ENFP’s need to have an awareness that being good at whatever you try, can intimidate others and send a message of perfectionism. ENFP’s can also get stuck in the perfectionism. I really appreciate the saying out loud and affirming the immature and mature ENFP. People know when they are genuinely being heard, and connected to, and you can unknowingly place a target on yourself because of this. ENFP’s also have dark places. Domestic Violence brings out that dark place in me. I have worked with those on the antisocial personality spectrum. Sociopaths, psychopaths, bipolar, etc. There is an opportunity to connect and walk that individual towards accountability. There is also the reality of taking off the positive glasses, knowing that your hand extended has been pushed away, and you HAVE to let that person hit the wall, sink to the bottom, and walk away. People do not engage change in behaviors until through significant pain and hatred of that pain, they will do whatever it takes to make that pain stop. I encourage all ENFP’s to start with knowing and living with boundaries, transparency, responsibility and accountability. Ask yourself while feeling another’s experience, where does the accountability lay? (not with you). The rule of advocacy is “I do not do for, but with. The first step is not mine”. It is okay to refer, rather than absorb. It is okay to empathize, that does not mean accountability. ENFP’s will get frustrated with others who get “stuck” in their subjective. Seeing the big picture does not mean you must “fix” it. The challenge is seeing, and not fixing, or attempting to fix. You decide your involvement, you are accountable to yourself, to own your no, and not feel guilty for that no.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment, Stacy! We appreciate your perspective. 🙂

  • Trina B.
    Reply

    I smiled and laughed through some of this because I have been in similar situations. Now I ask for more of what I want and let people know what i”m thinking when I get into situations like the the mount hood thing. I find that it heads off friction and my being seen as indecisive when I’m just trying to be considerate of everyone.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks Trina! I’m glad you have found a way to communicate your needs.

  • Evelyn Baker
    Reply

    I really enjoyed this podcast. I am an ENFP and it has been enlightening. I can relate to the sniping fantasy but mine is verbal. Since I have the extroverted intuitive skills, I can naturally put together people’s weakspots. If hurt by them I sometimes fantasize about taking them down by attacking those spots. It’s dreadful! Fortunately that goes against my core value of fairplay. So I don’t do it. But I can feel the power to do much damage. I feel this is my darkest part.
    Question: the 10 year old, is this what creates our impulsiveness?
    The three year old, I’ve spent some miserable years there. Coming out of it now. I’m seeing possibilities again! Wow, it feels good. I think I have been checking in with my authentic self more. I’m planning on making a list of my core values also.
    I appreciate you giving direction on the wiring and not just the behaviour and “possibilities” of growth too!!
    Eve

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment Evelyn! I can see how the 10 Year Old (we call it “Effectiveness”) could be responsible for impulsiveness. In its immature place, Effectiveness likes to push to make things happen. “What works” at any cost.

  • Timothy
    Reply

    This was an amazing and insightful podcast this week (mostly because I’m an ENFP lol). So much of it (if not, all of it) rang true to me and my experiences. My INFJ SO already has taken a lot of time to understand me, but I might ask her to do me a favor and listen to this episode when we’re in the car together!

    But this was really an invaluable episode — I felt like I read the cliffsnotes of my life! Thank you for all of the work you guys do for the podcast and this site! I’ve been listening for some time now! I’ll be sure to leave a review on iTunes!

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Timothy for sharing your feedback. Help us spread the word to people who are also interested in personal development. I hope your SO will enjoy hearing about you 🙂

    • Richard Dacres
      Reply

      Thank you so much really love the pod-cast related to so much of what has been mentioned. I am an ENFT. Been saying for years that I’m a walking contradiction polar opposite for everything, and rarely miss a trick. Tented to spot people agendas pick up on things which other tented not to. Some say I’m honest to a fault, but to be honest with myself this does phase me too much, because it come from a good genuine place. Really enjoyed it thanks again to both of you will be looking forward to hearing more insight about this topic. 🙂

  • Madison
    Reply

    This podcast was amazing. My boyfriend of five years is an ENFP, and after listening I understand his intricacies and wiring so much better. Which is saying something, because I’ve done a whole lot of research to try to figure him out. 😛
    I’m an INTJ; I’d love to hear something like this on my type as well

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Hey Madison. Thanks for the comment. We have an article that Antonia wrote for INTJs already:
      http://www.personalityhacker.com/intj-personality-type

      We will be recording a podcast on INTJs in the next few weeks… stay tuned.

    • Katy
      Reply

      My husband is an ENFP and I’m an INTJ – I also have done a lot of work trying to figure him out! PHacker has been a lifesaver for our marriage. Just having the language to talk about our differences has been huge. I think it’s been especially important for my husband to hear that he’s now weird, that his struggles are common for people who think like him. Did your boyfriend have a similar sense of relief when hearing about the ENFP type?

  • A
    Reply

    How can I download a podcast to a portable device so that I can lstn in my car?

  • Jusk
    Reply

    Thank you for exploring these personalities! As an ENFP, so many of these aspects hit home. By hearing other ENFP’s struggles, it has helped me identify my own struggles. Many times I haven’t been able to target why I struggle at certain homework’s assignments, yet excel at assignments that the majority of the class dislikes. I would LOVE to hear how successful ENFP’s have made it; what career they have gotten the most satisfaction out of– is it WHO you are working for that matters most (manager/leadership type) or is it the type of work you are doing (sales, marketing, teaching ect.)?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Thanks Jusk for the comment/question.

      How does your inner wisdom answer your question? If you knew the answer – what would it be?

  • Judy
    Reply

    Thank you for this. I am wondering – do you think an insecure enfp might confuse themselves for an infp?

    • Joel Mark Witt
      Reply

      Possibly. Why do you ask? What’s your experience?

      • Robert
        Reply

        I think so! I’m an ENFP to the core, but earlier in my life I would test out as an INFP because I would think “no one likes being around me, I just want to be alone” but after answering honestly and just leaving my fear of rejection, I tested as a ENFP and I’ve done it like over a 20 times and still… ENFP

        • Joel Mark Witt
          Reply

          Yeah. I had a similar experience when I was younger. I would shy away from others thinking that they didn’t like me. I think it’s a challenge for us as Intuitive types. And insecurity can also creep up – especially in our youth. Thanks for the comment Robert.

  • Randy Caba
    Reply

    Awesome. I grew up near Portland and used to commute several times per week through the Columbia River Gorge, an absolutely gorgeous part of planet earth’s personality 🙂

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Agreed Randy! I’m from Oregon too and the drive through the Gorge is one of my favorites. Although the wind can get pretty epic. 😉

      • Randy Caba
        Reply

        Wow, Charis! This is like a webby Oregonian reunion. And yes, knock-down winds, snow banks high as buildings, and out of the blue ice storms can be treacherous in The Gorge. Yet the amazing history, graceful wildlife, spring new growth and coloring autumn leaves, the sheer cliffs and the mighty Columbia River are absolutely epic. Much like some of the ENFJs I’ve known… INFJs too 😉 Love the podcasts!

        • Randy Caba
          Reply

          Meant to say ENFPs (no offense ENFJs). I’m pretty certain I was married to an ENFP once upon a time. Great lady.

  • Ryan
    Reply

    Heya,

    So I’m an INTJ and am surrounded by ENFP’s…proverbially vomiting rainbows of verbalage onto my head 🙂

    I love hanging around with this personality type as they bring out another side to myself that is exciting.

    And I loved this episode so thank you!

    Can I make a request that you guys consider a podcast on INTJ’s and how to become the best versions of our personality types…lord knows we need it haha

    And I mean that as regards to going from point A- an unsightly, starter INTJ if you will, to a well balanced, integrated and confident INTJ that can truly contribute their best to the world… Which would be awesome to everyone.

    Would love to hear back from you guys and thank you. 😉

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      INTJ week is coming up, so we’ll be doing a long form podcast on your type soon. 🙂

      -A-

  • Karen
    Reply

    I have been obsessed with Myers Briggs and all things personality lately, and come up all over the place with tests. (It got so that I was totally skewing the results unconsciously to align with whatever type I was thinking I was at the time)

    BUT….after hearing this podcast about ENFP – I found my answer. I am on the shyer side and like doing things on my own a lot so I always thought I was an introvert. Reading the book: Personality Type, an Owner’s manual, and doing that test – started me thinking about the possibility of me being extroverted. Hearing this podcast I am now confirmed. Thanks!
    – BTW – I filled out your questionaire incorrectly then – and responded as an INFP for that. Sorry.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      No worries, Karen! We are just glad you finally found your type. I was perusing Pinterest this morning and looking for ENFP pins. I noticed one that said ENFPs are the most introverted of the extraverts. Thay may explain why you thought you were an introvert for so long.

      Thanks for your comment!

  • suz
    Reply

    My husband is ENFP, and I’m INFP so we have the same dominant and auxiliary functions but in reverse, and I’d love to know more about how that difference manifests itself because he can be a complete mystery to me at times!

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      That’s an interesting question, Suz! We might make that a subject of a PHQ. Thanks!

  • Rachel
    Reply

    Really interesting, thanks for this podcast.

    My dad is an ENFP, and so much of this sounds like him. Optimism, seeing people as their best, seeing opportunities everywhere… That part at the end talking about not being able to describe why you think something until it comes together a few hours later, and being out argued by your ENTP wife–that’s EXACTLY him.

    Some of it resonates with me as an INTP as well, probably because of my fairly high Exploration. But also, I think, because my dad had such a big influence on me growing up, that it’s hard not to see the optimism, opportunities, and adventure of life, as well as the best part of the people around me.

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      Thanks for the comment Rachel! Having an ENFP father must have made your childhood exciting!

  • Wulfex
    Reply

    OMG… Antonia and I both have sniper fantasies? I thought I was the only one picking out buildings on a bad day and plotting out all of my targets while avoiding the law and fleeing the country! It would be interesting to dissect all the types and their little fantasies like this and I wonder what differs between mine (an INFP) and Antonia’s sniper fantasy.

    Sorry, this isn’t adding to the ENFP discussion, just wanted to share.

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      In mine I’m highly trained and infinitely patient. Like, when they finally locate where the shots came from there are empty water bottles (except for the ones filled with urine) and protein bar wrappers everywhere but no shells (cause I’m too careful to leave those behind). I fly all over the world choosing my targets using a profile of psychopathy and a proprietary algorithm based upon harm done, its reach and if there is any possibility for rehabilitation.

      It’s mostly a vigilante fantasy, but I’m pretty wussy so I end up being a sniper due to my lack of fighting prowess and string beany arms.

      -A-

      p.s. This is not something I’m proud of, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t spent some time there in my mind grapes. 😛

    • Ami
      Reply

      This is so true it hurts. I was so flighty as a kid and borderline adhd(how I feel about it anyway). I think what Antonia said is right, how the F is a kinesthetic thing, connecting to the nerve system or the sensation in your body is another way to improve Fi.

      • Naomi
        Reply

        Finding out I was an ENFP was like finding out every month that the reason I’ve been grouchy for the past week is becuase I was pre-menstrual, but only realising it afterwards!!! Exactly the same!

    • Vanessa
      Reply

      WOW I loved this so so much! I first tested as an ENTP 25 years ago and recently as a ENFP. The main thing that struck me was the difficulty saying NO. I truly feel like I have invested a part of my soul when I promise to show up in some way. I’ve stayed in leadership positions, service and support positions longer than what was good for me. Then there is the upset around being the ONE that always shows up no matter what. It’s been a leaning process but I turned a corner 2 years ago and it changed my life. I didn’t know that that this was part of ENFP challenges! Interesting that you say that ENFP’s have difficulty expressing themselves. I was a champion debater ( I tested ENTP then) and my business encompasses intuitive strategy so I always have my reasons, points pretty much immediately up within me. So I don’t tend to feel dumb or inarticulate, I tend to feel that others don’t have the expansive awareness LOL. I have most definitely experienced not choosing to get married or investing myself in certain situations because of the fear of being trapped! YES to accessing emotions immediately. I have acted, directed and performed. I reframe and shift my stinking thinking very quickly. It is a super power! Thank you for this inspiring and informative podcast! You are both amazing!

      • R. Ohana
        Reply

        I feel the same about my ability to communicate! It is one of my personal superpowers, and others frequently express a wish to have the same facility with words. In my imagination, at least, I am perceived as both intelligent & articulate, certainly not dumb. This is where my disconnect with my ENFP profile occurs; but as I learn more, I’m sure I will see all sorts of predicators.

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