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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about what it means to “hold space” for another person or social interaction.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- What does it mean to “hold space?”
- It encapsulates something that is very important to the success of a relationship.
- It means we are securing the perimeter for someone else.
- When lions take down a kill, one lion will secure the perimeter so everyone else can eat in peace.
- The lion is holding space for everyone else.
- When we hold space for someone else, we create a safe space for someone to attend to whatever they need to attend to.
- Sometimes we secure the perimeter because of our own emotions. We realize that it is not the time or place for us to address something that is coming up.
- We can’t just disregard work or tasks to address emotions.
- Sometimes we protect tasks from the disruption of emotions.
- Or we protect our loved ones from the disruption of our own emotions.
- We need to take turns, so each person gets to be the one in the safe zone.
- Make sure you aren’t the one always holding space for everyone else.
- 30 minutes of space holding could solve most conflicts.
- Try to be aware enough of the concept that you acknowledge the energetic hit someone else takes as they hold space for you.
- When we are holding space, we are trying to get hold of the assumptions, motivations, and emotions coming up either on our side or someone else’s.
- To shift your perspective and secure the perimeter treat the relationship as a third entity that needs equal attention and care. It is a node in the system.
- There is more to take into consideration than your feelings.
- If you say hurtful things to each other, you risk damaging not only your partner but also the relationship.
- Check in to make sure the other person can hold space for you when you need it, so you don’t risk long-term damage to the relationship.
- Sometimes holding space for someone else can be emotional, or it can just be about someone else’s situation or thoughts.
- As we begin to discipline ourselves to hold space for others in our personal lives, it starts to translate to the world in a bigger way.
- There isn’t a lot of holding space in the world right now.
- Free speech is under attack because people riot whenever anyone has a belief that is different from theirs.
- We have to show up as the best people possible.
- How are you treating yourself?
- Are you holding space for yourself and being radically honest with yourself without judgment?
- If you can’t hold space for yourself, you can’t hold space for others.
- How to hold space:
- Extravert the thing that is happening. In other words, talk out what is happening so it can be dealt with.
- Slow everything way down. Speed kills relationships. Count to 10. Separate until you cool down. Don’t react. Pause and think things through.
- What techniques have you used to hold space for others?
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