In Podcast

Download Episode Here right click link and select “Save Link As…”

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about what it means to “hold space” for another person or social interaction.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • What does it mean to “hold space?”
  • It encapsulates something that is very important to the success of a relationship.
  • It means we are securing the perimeter for someone else.
  • When lions take down a kill, one lion will secure the perimeter so everyone else can eat in peace.
  • The lion is holding space for everyone else.
  • When we hold space for someone else, we create a safe space for someone to attend to whatever they need to attend to.
  • Sometimes we secure the perimeter because of our own emotions. We realize that it is not the time or place for us to address something that is coming up.
  • We can’t just disregard work or tasks to address emotions.
  • Sometimes we protect tasks from the disruption of emotions.
  • Or we protect our loved ones from the disruption of our own emotions.
  • We need to take turns, so each person gets to be the one in the safe zone.
  • Make sure you aren’t the one always holding space for everyone else.
  • 30 minutes of space holding could solve most conflicts.
  • Try to be aware enough of the concept that you acknowledge the energetic hit someone else takes as they hold space for you.
  • When we are holding space, we are trying to get hold of the assumptions, motivations, and emotions coming up either on our side or someone else’s.
  • To shift your perspective and secure the perimeter treat the relationship as a third entity that needs equal attention and care. It is a node in the system.
  • There is more to take into consideration than your feelings.
  • If you say hurtful things to each other, you risk damaging not only your partner but also the relationship.
  • Check in to make sure the other person can hold space for you when you need it, so you don’t risk long-term damage to the relationship.
  • Sometimes holding space for someone else can be emotional, or it can just be about someone else’s situation or thoughts.
  • As we begin to discipline ourselves to hold space for others in our personal lives, it starts to translate to the world in a bigger way.
  • There isn’t a lot of holding space in the world right now.
  • Free speech is under attack because people riot whenever anyone has a belief that is different from theirs.
  • We have to show up as the best people possible.
  • How are you treating yourself?
  • Are you holding space for yourself and being radically honest with yourself without judgment?
  • If you can’t hold space for yourself, you can’t hold space for others.
  • How to hold space:
    1. Extravert the thing that is happening. In other words, talk out what is happening so it can be dealt with.
    2. Slow everything way down. Speed kills relationships. Count to 10. Separate until you cool down. Don’t react. Pause and think things through.
  • What techniques have you used to hold space for others?

 

 

 

 

To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Subscribe with iTunes
Non-iTunes Link
Download The Android App
Subscribe on Soundcloud
Subscribe with Stitcher
Subscribe on Google Play

If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!

 

Want to learn more?

 

Discover Your Personal Genius

free-personality-test-myers-briggs-2

We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…

Personality Hacker
Personality Hacker teaches you the coding language of your mind and how to use it to create happiness.
Showing 3 comments
  • Dana
    Reply

    Longtime listener with a question on holding space vs. avoidance. You addressed some of the concerns around emotions getting stacked if a need goes unmet. You’ve also spoken previously about the valuable lessons that coincide with tension/ambiguity. What would your advice be about the tension between holding space *until* there is an opening for a (potentially) challenging conversation vs. overcoming avoidance by maybe *not* waiting for an opening? Any insight you have is appreciated! –D

  • Craig
    Reply

    One of 7 habits: Habit 5 – Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
    If you pause to understand, you hold space and reserve your own judgment to find the other persons’ point of view.

  • Gina
    Reply

    Really good podcast on “Holding Space.” I’m an INFP and I’m so triggered by decisions and situations that to me are pointless, the miss the forest for the trees situations, rules for rules sake. Happens frequently at work where more and more tasks are placed on nurses and large amounts of money is spent to meet standards that are meaningless in the real care of patients. But I don’t like this feeling that rises inside of me either, It’s like I feel like have to detach or I end up too forcefully stating my opinion…ugh
    I think holding space is the same or similar to giving grace to others. Giving others the space to make their own decisions, not always having to have an opinion, letting go of the right to be right all the time, forgiveness of others and yourself.

Leave a Comment

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text.