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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about building the skill of gratitude.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Most of the skills we have in life we have to learn. We don’t come packaged with them.
  • We come to the world with a talent for love but to have good relationships we have to build the skill.
  • Unless we were taught to push through challenges, we often give up in the face of disappointment or frustration.
  • Gratitude is a skill we develop.
  • Some may have more of a natural talent, but it is a massive characteristic that is desirable to us because it is the bedrock of all of our life lessons.
  • If we don’t have gratitude when something crappy happens, we may be so focused on the bad that we completely miss the message or lesson to be taken.
  • Gratitude isn’t a nice to have. It is incredibly important to us to avoid replicating the bad situations in the future.
  • Gratitude is a narrative tool. “This thing happened, and I am grateful for it because I now have the opportunity to learn.”
  • Gratitude gives us a meta perspective with a positive spin on the events we zoom in on.
  • Being grateful for positive experiences is easy. It’s being grateful for the things that are challenging that is difficult.
  • Gratitude is a muscle we can strengthen through exercise.
  • It’s a tool for having a positive life experience regardless of what may be happening in life.
  • Louis C.K. wifi on airplane skit. “You’re in a chair flying through the air, and now you are upset that you don’t have wifi.” Perspective.
  • Some people can get gratitude for a moment, but it doesn’t stick. They haven’t built skill around it.
  • There is a daily practice of gratitude. We go through life, and there are little annoyances that happen, and it is hard to feel gratitude for these annoyances.
  • But if you have built up a skill with gratitude you can use it for the big things and the little things.
  • Sometimes it isn’t so easy to feel gratitude immediately after news of a tragedy. Often it emerges over time.
  • If you have practiced the art of gratitude, it will be waiting for you when you’re ready for it.
  • Gratitude will help you see the situation for what it is so you don’t stay in a perpetual state of victimhood.
  • Drama Triangle podcast
  • As a victim, you always see things in terms of how you have been hurt by them.
  • With gratitude, you can see the situation for the lessons you can take away and avoid replicating it if you can.
  • Sometimes we have to fight for the gratitude.
  • One of the strategies to use in developing gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal. Write down everything, even the mundane things.
  • There’s this idea of absolute wealth and relative wealth. We don’t measure ourselves in terms of absolute wealth. We measure ourselves in terms of relative wealth.
  • We see gratitude in terms of absolutes when we should see it in relative terms.
  • There is no absolute training around this. It is constantly shifting as to how you can apply it.
  • The more things you can find to apply gratitude to the better you will get at using it.
  • Gratitude skill building involves skill of implementation.
  • It’s not about feeling grateful for the terrible stuff in life immediately. It’s about building skill, so it helps you through the hard times.
  • Learn to say “Thank you” more often.
  • Express gratitude for the bad things that happen because they teach us lessons.
  • Express gratitude for the things that haven’t happened.
  • When you develop the skill of gratitude enough, you get out of the comparison game and start to see the good all by itself.
  • Volunteering can help create gratitude.
  • Get better at creating positivity in your life.

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Showing 6 comments
  • Amy Francis
    Reply

    Thank you (seriously), Joel and Antonia, for this podcast. Love what you guys are doing. This was a heavy session but a really important one, I think. Need to remember to practice gratitude and find it in the bad situations as well as the lack and the mundane.

  • Peter Rowe
    Reply

    Thank you Antonia and Joel for that brilliant podcast, i am so grateful to have the opportunity to hear this today, I has given me another perspective to help me deal with the loss of my youngest child,even though it was’nt so recent the feelings of loss are sometimes overwhelming and hard to fathom,Thank you so much for the work you both offer to the world,it is certainly a more beautiful place for your output and insights and my best wishes Antonia in regards to your father,you both be well and have a great day,Pete.

  • S S
    Reply

    My heart goes out to you Antonia for the tough news you’re dealing with right now. You’ve done so much to lift this community up with your own wisdom and the tools you’ve shared, and we’re all sending those good vibes right back to you! You’ll no doubt come out the other side with a new perspective, which I’m sure will help others going through similar hardships, so maybe in the end that’s where the gratitude will stem from. Time will tell I guess…

  • Caroline smith
    Reply

    Hi Joel and Antonia, I have just listened to your gratitude podcast. It came at exactly the right time as I, too, am facing some life trauma and it can be so tough to see through the negatives and remember the positives when feeling so challenged. I started a gratitude journal but found I kept forgetting to put my entries in. I decided that, as I always have my phone with me, I’d start taking a gratitude photo everyday day. I have built up a gratitude album and can now scroll through my pictures of all the good things I have surrounding me. Just a thought in case the journal doesn’t float your boat Antonia! Thank you so much for your website and podcast…truely life changing. Please keep them coming! Best wishes for those difficulties you’re currently facing. C x

    • Antonia Dodge
      Reply

      A gratitude photo album! What an amazing idea!

      -A-

    • Charis Branson
      Reply

      I love that idea! Thanks, Caroline!!

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