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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about shifting focus from looking for Mr or Ms. Right to becoming Mr or Ms. Right.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Some people have an idealistic perspective of how love/relationship should look.
- They also have an idealized perspective of how developed they are as opposed to those they keep attracting.
- Some say that conversation is awkward for some Millennials because they haven’t built the skill of interaction without a platform like Tinder or Facebook.
- If your goal is to find someone you can love, what can you do to make that happen?
- There is a massive shift when you stop looking for Mr./Ms. Right and start focusing on becoming Mr./Ms. Right.
- If you feel like you’ve arrived but you aren’t attracting similar people, then ask yourself if you have really arrived.
- You will attract people at your level. Get accurate about where you are.
- Create a list of all of your ‘requirements’ in a spouse.
- What level of intimacy are you desiring?
- Are you matching the requirements you have for others?
- When we are younger, we tend to place physical attributes high on the list.
- As we age, we start to recognize that the nonphysical becomes essential.
- Attraction isn’t an option. It just happens to us.
- Social Sexual Imprints podcast
- Once we permit ourselves to have a broader spectrum of attraction, we start eliminating the laundry list of requirements.
- Do you allow society to influence your requirements for a partner?
- Sometimes we attract bad situations into our life.
- We get what we put out.
- If you are in a troubled relationship, what can you do to become a better person?
- Do you actually want a relationship?
- Or is your laundry list of requirements a shield against building a relationship?
- Relationships can become a mirror to all the work we haven’t been doing.
- Nothing can tell you you’ve arrived.
- There is growth that can happen within a relationship that cannot occur outside of a relationship.
- There is also growth you have to do on your own, outside a relationship.
- The work to become better versions of ourselves is always there waiting for us.
- “When I stopped looking they showed up.”
- When you stop focusing so hard on finding that person and start focusing on who you are you become attractive to others.
- Become a magnet for the person you want to attract.
- If you want to attract an empowered person you need to make sure you are empowered.
- If you want to attract someone who is physically fit, you need to match that yourself.
- Looking for a love relationship is looking for a peer relationship.
- Shift from an outcome frame to a process frame.
- Stop focusing on the outcome and focus on the process that is involved in attracting the person that is right for you.
- If you are still single and you are working on yourself, that doesn’t mean that you still have more work to do.
- Sometimes there is the concept of wrong place/wrong time.
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