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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about better ways to measure a healthy relationship.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- How do you define a healthy relationship?
- Is it the same as your partner?
- Exercise: create your own list of what you look for as markers of a healthy relationship.
- Compare with your partner.
- Passion/romance/desire between the two parties.
- A person speaks highly about mate, but they don’t brag about them.
- Bragging – using spouse’s accomplishments as a trophy.
- Are the people in the relationship encouraging each other to grow?
- Even when their growth is threatening to you or the relationship?
- Neither sees the other as the problem.
- If there are challenges, there is no blame.
- Each person owns their contribution to issues, but not taking all the blame.
- Drama Triangle: Someone is always the victim, and someone else is always the villain.
- Nothing can grow in a Drama Triangle.
- Each person gets to be their fully authentic self.
- Partners regularly look for reminders of being in each other’s presence.
- They are always seeking out the location of their partner.
- They miss their partner when they are apart.
- ESTJ trained self to get excited whenever they saw their partner.
- When you touch your spouse, it isn’t about giving touch but also taking touch.
- Healthy relationships have conflict.
- The couple is a team even when they’re fighting.
- The relationship itself is a third entity.
- It is more than just the two of you, and it deserves to be protected.
- The grass isn’t greener anywhere else.
- “The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener on my side because I nurture it.”
- No pining for what could have been.
- These things don’t happen to us; we grow to make them happen.
- What can you do to make this relationship grow?
- What is it you aren’t willing to do within this relationship that makes you desire another?
- Maybe the patch of grass where you are needs some tending.
- Maybe your relationship is complete.
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2 comments
1. I look at romance as a poem by Shelly and Lord Byron or 18th Century France.
2.
without compatibility there can be no love, communication or passion.
3. A relationship grows by perceiving the possibilities of the individual and how it can create both hearts to become intertwined.
4. A successful relationship opens doors that your mate has never seen This sharing of the soul’s depth can lead to an eternal connection or create a fear of showing the true self. This can lead to a person bolting.
5. Look deeply into one’s eyes and love and passion will intensify.
I hope this does not sound silly. i am very self conscious. Geoff.
Just found your site a few weeks ago & really appreciate the content & delivery. My story is not so linear. I identified, (silently), as an empath* more than an intuitive. *with an aversion to the word"psychic" With a diploma in recreation & a B.Ed. I developed recreational/educations programs. By “develop”, I mean “I” receive a download of a program that will reduce fear in a target group. Example: after feeling “gutted” watching an obese woman in a fitness class, I said, “No-one should ever have to experience that kind of humiliation”. There was a flash of light (see Nikolai Tessla), & I “knew” what to do, (Note: my background was elite athletics), & I was in business in 3 weeks. Everybody told me “fat people won’t exercise” but I knew they would if they could be successful. The business became a phenomenon; we received a great deal of media attention, I was given a Citizenship & other awards & became a consultant to the Prov. Govt. Depts of Health, Recreation & Education. That type of thing has happened numerous times. However, when asked how I new what to do, I never led with the story of the intuitive hit. I hid behind a rational analytical description; I hid my heart & gut brain & spoke from my head brain.
As a child, I was told I was “too sensitive” & was even drugged in grade 6 when I had a bully teacher, ( I became a barbiturate addict at 17). I am now 62. It has only been in the last year that I realize how ashamed I have always been of myself – I was different & internalized that was bad. I have been hiding in a closet, & behind the performance persona of “academic high achiever” & successful business woman all my life.
In recent years, my family has been living a nightmare which we now understand as abuse from a neighbour with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This has been life threatening. Last year, I received a download for a civic movement titled “The Great Neighbour Project”. This came when I asked a friend what she does when she has a neighbour conflict & she replied “Nothing, because I don’t want to make it worse”. At that moment, I realized the universality of the fear of talking to a neighbour about a problem. This issue wasn’t just about me, but about US. I have a great deal of the download mapped out but put it on hold to work on my recovery from Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. With Melanie Tonia Evans Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, I have come to recognize that my shame allowed me to become a target for the Narc. Through NARP & Melanie’s Self-Empowerment Program, I have cleared a great deal of trauma & am finding the courage to step into what I know will be a public spotlight & present “The Great Neighbour Project”. I also have quite a bit of documentation for a web series titled “Cultivating Genius” where genius is defined as “the ability to see things differently”. That series will be an expose’ of many positive social movements that fall under the radar of a myopic journalism industry which filters out genius & generally all good things. (I will promote you guys in “resources.”)
I intend to LEAD with my heart & gut brains with a nod to THE GOD OF SCIENCE. Because so many people have a fear of feeling foolish I’ll provide enough rational stuff to appease the intellect. So… a long answer to your question. Although intuition has always been the basis for the successful programs I’ve run, the fear of acknowledging that has prevented me from living my true self. I believe I am just now integrating the intuitive & leaving behind a false persona. Your resources are helping me. Thank you.