Podcast – Episode 0311 – How To Be A Good Critic

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about being a good critic in our overly critical time period. 

In this podcast you’ll find:

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about being a good critic in our overly critical time period. #criticism #personalgrowth

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Showing 5 comments
  • Megan

    OK guys — I have to admit that this was the first episode that made me feel “triggered” — and I still kind of feel that way! Even though I agreed with a lot of the points.

    I’m an INFJ and a millennial so, my mindset is very much set to, let’s constantly improve and make things better for people. Sometimes that requires criticism. Because if we only have gratitude, we risk becoming content. And we’ve seen the dangers of contentment too many times to know that’s not where we should stay.

    But, I’m glad I listened to the whole thing because you made many good points. I especially like how Antonia mentioned we often project in criticism what we can’t accept in ourselves. I think that’s a truth few people can accept.

    I still think criticism has its place. My Fe loves feedback on how to better serve people! But it’s true that there is too much of it. Thanks for the insightful episode.

  • Erica

    Wow…this Podcast really impacted me today!! I couldn’t agree more with everything you guys discussed…and what I am so grateful for is how I am able to learn about myself through your ability to articulate. It resonates so much and helps bring clarity to me on how I personally operate and gives me the tools to become better and even more introspective. I didn’t know it was a “positive” thing to be able to have the space to hold two different/opposing arguments in your head at the same time…I was always labeled a “fence strattler” in high school. I would sit back and watch the people with “opinions” go at it and I could always see the truth in both arguments which didn’t leave me confused it just made me realize that there wasn’t always or didn’t always have to be a right or wrong there is more often just a right for you and a right for me…and it is totally up to each individual to take others opinions as just that…an opinion. The gold is in taking the parts of the truth that resonate from peoples opinions and use that to help us understand those things which matter most to us. For me, focusing on truth and fundamentals seems to leave so much more space for creating more good in the world while holding tight to an opinion, as a sense of who you are, seems to require much more resource for the defense you must build and the action it takes to protect it.

  • Nicole

    A friend of mine introduced me to your website and I’ve been hooked on your podcasts ever since. Thank you for all the work you do!
    I just had to leave a quick comment on your most recent podcast about criticism- at one point, Antonia said you guys have been very careful not to present your own “worldview” on your show, so as not to alienate any listeners, which I have noticed, and appreciate. But then she made a comment about the religion she grew up in, about how they don’t do Christmas, and how she was cast out/disfellowshipped/shunned, or what-have-you. Pretty sure I know what this religion is, and I know several folks who listen to her are part of it. By her saying this, she is definitely going to alienate this (admittedly very small) group of listeners, since it sounds like they will consider her an apostate (if she was baptized?) But oh well! Really enjoyed the show, just had to point that out!

    • Antonia Dodge

      This actually proves the rule – one has to pattern recognize my religious history as I don’t name it. And assuming a person is accurate in their guess, I don’t share my opinions on specific theology or doctrine. From my perspective, talking about my life experiences and how they have impacted me isn’t presenting specific worldview.


  • Danielle

    I believe that nothing is above criticism, but I think the criticism we seem to have in society is not the right kind of criticism. Criticism should always be directed at improvements.

    When I receive positive, constructive criticism, I appreciate it. Your comments about Gordon Ramsey reminded me of someone from my own personal life. In high school, my orchestra director was very strict and often critical. But he acted the way he did because he was really pushing us to grow as musicians and reach the potential he saw. And it worked. I’m grateful to people like him, even if I’m not so happy about it in the moment.

    As to Antonia’s point about A Christmas Story, I feel it’s a movie with a lot of generational appeal and nostalgia for growing up during that time (albeit, other generations can enjoy it too). I can’t speak for anyone in the religion you grew up in, but I’d imagine that reminder of childhood is what made it acceptable (even if they might not have celebrated Christmas as children themselves). It’s not a bad movie, but it doesn’t have the same impact on people who didn’t have the same childhood experience. My parents are either in the cohort of the youngest boomers or the oldest gen xers (They’re cuspers, which is fitting because I also fall into a blurry area between Generation Y and Z). My dad’s parents are about a decade older than my mom’s parents were. He also grew up with quite a few older siblings who were solidly in the Boomer gen, whereas my mom is the oldest of her siblings. So, my dad relates quite a bit to A Christmas Story while my mom doesn’t at all and has never enjoyed the film. This is strange as you wouldn’t expect such a shift between two people who came from the same town and were born almost exactly a year apart.

    And I do appreciate you both presenting content without overloading it with your personal opinions. I’m glad you are conscientious about creating content that can reach as wide of an audience as possible. The world has so much divisive content, and society is in need of more unifying messages that can transcend different paradigms.

    What I always find strange is criticism directed at a work based on the beliefs or actions of those who created it. Now, if the person has done something truly heinous, I can understand avoiding their creations. But, in most incidents, I don’t actually think this backlash is warranted.

    One of my favorite shows is the X-Files. I brought it up one day while talking to some friends. One friend expressed vaguely negative feelings towards the show due to some transphobic comments Gillian Anderson apparently made at some point (I don’t remember the exact details now). I mentioned that I was aware of that controversy, but—as it was unrelated to the show itself (which does have some poorly aged content) and didn’t involve anyone directly being harmed—I didn’t see a reason for this to make me stop enjoying a show despite my disagreement with an actress’s comments.

    Whataboutisms in response to criticism also confuse me as well. I don’t expect everyone to identify it as a logical fallacy, but they should be able to tell when something lacks relevance.

    I do agree that rating people through technology is a very bad idea, especially when we’re dealing with text-based communication. Now, not all text-based communication is bad. However, tone and body language are completely absent. Therefore, it’s very easy for people to react in ways the sender did not intend.

    I remember when texting first became a big part of culture, how adverse my dad was to it. I thought this was strange when I was younger, but now that I have received many messages that could be interpreted in several different ways, I see exactly why he was hesitant to adopt it.

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