Podcast – Episode 0360 – Building A Healthy Dominant Cognitive Function

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the Driver or Dominant Cognitive Function and how to focus on growing it in a healthy way.

 

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Does your Dominant (Driver) function grow automatically or does it need proactive development?
  • How you can discover your Dominant function’s full range of usefulness.
  • How your Dominant function can fully thrive.
  • Your self-esteem’s affect on your Dominant function.
  • Why every other cognitive function actually serves your Dominant function.
  • How well are your Dominant and Auxiliary (Co-pilot) functions working together?
  • The markers of one-sidedness in your cognitive functions.
  • Dr. Dario Nardi’s Analytic vs Holistic versions of your Dominant function.
  • What it means to be “stuck in personality”.
  • Can your Dominant function become too dominating?
  • What happens when your Dominant function is neglected?
  • The power of surrounding yourself with others of like mind.

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Showing 7 comments
  • Danielle
    Reply

    Unfortunately, I have to disagree with Antonia’s point about Fe-doms not feeling threatened by other ExFJs. Albeit, the times I’ve observed this dealt with individuals who were not bringing a particularly healthy version of the function to the world. So I think that’s a part of it.

    I have noticed a handful (more specifically 2) ExFJs react to others operating with Fe in some (of all) of following ways:

    1. Extremely agitated and upset that another Fe user is trying to help meet an unmet need of theirs

    2. Angered that another Fe user is trying to meet the needs of a person they have decided to help themselves.

    3. Have explosive outbursts when other individuals act with Fe in a way that demonstrates how their Fe might be lacking in its effectiveness and helpfulness.

    In one memorable instance, I’ve seen 1 and 2 combine. Tears were shed. My Fi and Te were very uncomfortable and not able to understand anything that was going on.

    Interestingly, I’d say the two ExFJs I am writing about a very different people. I’m convinced they’d despise each other if they actually met. This is partly for the above reasons and there are other reasons (the one ExFJ is a friend who knows the extensive problems the other has caused in my life, plus, they are very opinionated in diametrically opposed paradigms).

    Needless to say, if ever I smell an Fe turf war approaching, I’ll get out of there fast.

  • Can'tSay,MyCo-WorkerFollowsPH
    Reply

    I completely agree with Joel, I loved the summary at the end and the reminder that the conversation doesn’t need to tangibly move from A to B to C to be beneficial.

    I am an INFJ and during this podcast, I had a realization about why I may be feeling miserable at my job. I work at a non-profit and even though its values align with my own, it is an incredibly Si-heavy organization. My Ni is so sad because most of my day is spent on administrative work and my simulation-running ideas fall on deaf ears, all the time. I have literally been told that there is no room for creativity because all processes have been thought of and identified!

    Anyway, that was the most important nugget for me because now I feel less guilty for wanting to find another job. For me to thrive and grow, I have to honour my Ni i.e. my personality best friend, as it’s been with me my whole life and knows me better than any other function (that’s my Fe there too, always anthropomorphizing :)).

  • Sheila
    Reply

    Thanks for another interesting discussion, opening tangent paths for thought 🙂
    Here’s one that came up for me:
    I was wondering, is it possible for a person to have an over-developed auxiliary function (whether through personal development or childhood/social environment influences), so much so that it overshadows the dominant function?

  • Wendy Linn
    Reply

    Once again, Antonia demonstrates the beauty and humility of staying ‘out of personality’ in this issue. Even though she fears she has not.

    It is all too common an experience (of we ENTPs) to deliver breakthrough material (especially carried on the back of a wickedly great self-disclosure) and have that moment of insecurity. The ‘Did I just hear crickets?’ (Internal) experience is well-patterned from childhood when we just can’t sit on the impulse to jump further into the gap of communication rather than wait for our partners to ‘catch up’.

    TA-DA! The pair then demonstrates the perfect Möbius strip communication and lands this plane of a great episode. It’s a great listen if you enjoy being a part of two people building a plane while flying it AND describing it!

    Heidegger couldn’t have been prouder. In communicating BEING, TIME (and communion) get a bit wavy. This podcast was the best ride yet.

  • Kayla Brown
    Reply

    Wow… This explains so much about my life. Lol My dominate function is Introverted Intuition (ISFJ). I was living in an environment that was stifling my dominant function for 8.5 years until I snapped. I was not as aware of my own needs/wants as I am now, but my Intuition was definitely having temper tantrums. 😩 Glad to be on a growth path and pattern of changing negative thought patterns and learning more about me so I know what I need/want and can better serve others in my life without the unexpected (on my part) Dominant function temper tantrums ruling.

    When my Driver started having tantrums, then my co-pilot took over to the point of shutting down emotionally and only looking at things analytically. It got downright nasty in my own head and mental health for a while, but I see light now and instead of all the parties fighting and screaming for attention in the car, everyone is learning to take turns and say, “Hey, can I have a voice, too, now? May I have a turn?” I feel like I’m becoming a holistically healthy individual for the first time in my life.

    Thanks for helping clear up whether I was an INFP, INFJ, or ISFJ. I’ve tested as all three at various points over the years, but now have been consistently testing as ISFJ. 🙂

  • Tory
    Reply

    Hey, been following you all for a while. And first just want to say thank you for such an incredible model of a caring relationship. I love how you are both able to articulate right where you are at to and with each other even on the podcast. Second, Antonia, I love your wanderings and ruminations… Please keep them coming. Third, I really need this, will be listening to it again soon after I have time to let it percolate. I am pretty sure that while growing up my driver was pretty seriously inhibited. Still working through it all slowly but surely but think I was in a situation where my ten year and three year olds were much more accepted and developed. As I have been working through my traumas, attachments and type… The idea of letting my driver go, letting it stretch and take up room has been a bit of a scary conundrum. I am deeply grateful to you both, and can’t say just how timely this is for me. 🙏

    • Robert Hypax
      Reply

      Hello,
      My name is Robert. I am INFJ.
      I have a question. How do I grow my tertiary without losing my connection with my auxiliary? Because I have been staying very much in my driver and auxiliary maybe by fear of ending up in a loop. But I am getting to a point where I really need my Ti

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