Podcast – Episode 0366 – Does an ISTP Deserve Connection + IxTx Finding My Personality Type

Download Episode Hereright click link and select “Save Link As…”

In this episode, Joel and Antonia answer two questions from the Personality Hacker community. They answer an ISTP who doesn’t feel like they deserve connection and help an IxTx navigate toward their best fit personality type.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Joel and Antonia dedicate this episode to answering listeners’ questions.
  • First question: As an ISTP with Extraverted Feeling (Harmony) as my Inferior (3-yr-old) function, I feel like I don’t deserve connection since I am bad at it. How do I get better at Extraverted Feeling?
  • The difficulties xTxP women face.
  • Reasons it is hard to find others who understand you as an xTxP woman.
  • Why Introverts face certain challenges.
  • What is the advantage you have with Extraverted Feeling (Harmony) in the Inferior (3-year old) position?
  • Why Extraverted Feeling (Harmony) isn’t the only way we connect with each other.
  • What Introversion and Extraversion have to do with connection and intimacy.
  • How Extraverted Sensing (Sensation) helps ISTPs build connection.
    • Ways being physically active helps.
    • Actively using your body even during a pandemic.
    • The power of spending time around others.
    • What happens when you share yourself.
  • What limiting belief does to us.
  • Ways we undermine ourselves when we don’t think we deserve something.
  • How you can help others understand you better?.
  • Why we don’t need to master our Inferior (3-year old) function.
  • The incredible ways your Auxiliary (Co-pilot) and Dominant (Driver) functions help your Inferior (3-year old) function.
  • Second Question: As an IxTx, I need help discovering my type. How do I navigate all the online opinions about type?
  • The difficulties of so much conflicting information online.
  • Are there reliable online sources Personality Hacker recommends?
  • Why sticking with someone you find reliable matters.
    • Figuring out who is still learning their type vs others further along the journey.
    • The tried and true books and resources people in the Type Community use.
    • Using the MILO database to learn.
  • Ways you can narrow down your type.
  • Why we sometimes skip developing our Auxiliary (Co-pilot) function.
    • A helpful analogy using the car model.
  • Understanding the effects of age on cognitive functions.
    • How each function in each position gets more dynamic.
    • Ways Joel and Antonia’s Auxiliary (Co-pilot) functions showed up in younger years.
  • How our environment and experiences influence our cognitive functions.
  • How the FIRM Model can help you.
  • Personality Hacker consultants who can help you.
  • Making the journey of discovering your type enjoyable.
  • Why sharing your experience and questions matters to this podcast.


To subscribe to the podcast, please use the links below:

Subscribe with iTunes
Non-iTunes Link
Google Play
Radio Public
Listen Notes

If you like the podcast and want to help us out in return, please leave an honest rating and review on iTunes by clicking here. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes immensely! We would be eternally grateful!

Want to learn more?

Discover Your Personal Genius


We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below…

Showing 4 comments
  • IxTx?

    Whoa! Half an episode dedicated to my questions! I never thought that would happen – not particularly regarding this podcast, but anywhere anytime, I’m used to being ignored… – Thanks!

    Great that you provided suitable sources for more or less the “bullet points”. As previously commented, that is one of the problems I’ve been having. I think I already have Jung’s book downloaded, although only partially read. I’ll at least continue that, and maybe get a hold of the others you recommended.

    Didn’t you have Q&A episodes in the beginning of the podcast, years ago? (I did a lot of backlog listening when I first found it.) Resuming that concept would be a great idea. It would be best to have them listed on a separate sub-page so that they are easy to find. (Just please keep having it subsidized by your products, and not the “Patreon exclusive” – i.e. paywalled – bull**** that every other podcast is doing these days… Yes, financing and everything, but it is not just an economic threshold for potential listeners but also a privacy problem.)

    From the FIRM stuff, I’d say I lean a bit more to J, although nothing definitive, particularly considering Justine G’s comment. Something to keep in mind though.

    There’s probably more I should have said here, but I’ll have to listen at least once more to this episode, as I have already forgot a lot, and this is already becoming a Wall of Text…

    Once again, thanks!

  • Justine G

    With regard to ‘returning to the source/seminal works’, I personally found Jung’s description of introverted sensation very different to that later developed by Myers Briggs and everyone thereafter. I think Dario Nardi briefly acknowledged this in your recent podcast.

    Jung depicts both Si and Ni dominant people (in their more ‘pronounced’ form at least) as impractical and unsuited to the demands of the outside world, and both prone to outlandish perceptions and visions. It seems quite a large leap to the ‘ISJs are practical and earthbound’ concept that later developed.

  • Justine G

    Thanks again Guys,

    I would like to point out however that acccording to your own FIRM theory (as expressed in your book) that ‘your type doesn’t dictate your FIRM fixation, and your FIRM fixation doesn’t dictate your type’, particularly noting that having a stronger fixation with that more associated with the tertiary function is quite common.

    I think therefore it is a bad idea to use this as a type diagnostic tool, particularly with people who are really having trouble narrowing down a type, as having an ‘atypical’ FIRM fixation may be part of the reason they are having trouble self-typing, thus this could just intensify the confusion.

  • Julia

    Thank you so much taking the time to answer my question so thoroughly in this podcast. I think you just handed me a couple of really key pieces of the puzzle that I was missing. I hadn’t considered the secondary function as an entry point for the inferior function, sort of a loop but one for good.

    Also, the point about all of the extroverted functions being connection builders not just harmony/extroverted feeling is another big piece I was missing and definitely does fall into the blind spot category given how obvious it is once pointed out and that I was stuck thinking that the solving the problem of harmony was the only option.

    I really enjoy using extroverted sensing (and as you correctly guessed I do have a very ISTPy list of sports I enjoy as well just getting outdoors to explore) so am particularly delighted that the solution starts there even if trying to find something that includes other people, is not particularly pandemic compatible at the moment. Waiting a bit longer is vastly preferable than continung to think the answer is solely buried in the mysteries of extroverted feeling.

    Thanks again for all the insights!

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text. captcha txt