Podcast – Episode 0407 – Dealing With Discouragement When Finding Your Best Fit Type

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the frustration that some can face when they are either mistyped or can’t find their best fit type and the benefits of going through this journey.


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Showing 8 comments
  • Kevin Rettinger

    I am not certain what my personality type is. I believe I am an NP type, but I am not sure about the other letters. Two of my greatest strengths are my ability to predict other people, and explain information. I also solve problems in such a way that clashes with other types. I tend to jump into a situation and trouble shoot until I find the answer. Does this describe any set of functions.

  • Jess

    XNTP here. I think I’m an INTP, but if I am, I’m a rather happy extroverted one. I was a very happy, imaginative child. I like people. I just don’t understand them. Can an INTP be a naturally happy, imaginative person?

    • William (INxP)

      Hi Jess,

      I would definitely say so. Happiness and imagination are two basic components of being a human. The kinds of things one thinks about as well as the emotions one feels are the emergents of incredibly complex systems, and only one node in that system is personality type.

      At a very basic level, all that “INTP” means is what you find in the cognitive function stack. Sure, Ti is a non-emotional function and Fe is the inferior function for IxTPs, but those functions primarily dictate information that is focused and decided upon, rather than the actual emotions felt.

      I personally am in the process of discovering whether my type is INTP or INFP, and whichever type is my best fit, I can tell you that I really enjoy social settings and more fun, imaginative conversation as well. I can’t say I relate to struggling to understanding people, but I do relate to difficulty connecting with them.

      Best of luck while you figure this out. You might have heard this already, but I’d recommend figuring out whether Ne or Ti contains more natural talent for you and what your loop looks like when figuring out your type.


  • Asl

    I think you also have to acknowledge that a lot of people have self esteem issues from childhood abuse and have had loads of unhealthy messaging that their natural ways of being is flawed or shamefull. Therefore, type jumping is a way of escaping yourself. It’s very sad (I’m doing it myself) and comes from deep grief and a feeling of not being enough.

  • Julie

    Thanks, this has been helpful as I’m currently really struggling to figure it out. I get typed as INFJ on every test (written and online) but I question this as that community talks about mistype a lot. Many aspects fit but some don’t and on this journey I’ve also landed on ISFP as a possibility as well. I think the thing I probably need to look at next while painful is E or I… something that would be hard for me because everything in my bones screams Introvert but maybe it’s possible that I’m just not overly extroverted? The more I research the more discouraged and confused I feel. I’m almost ready to give up. I’ll really laugh if I’m actually INFJ though.

  • William (Ixxx)

    Wow, this one really hit home, and I’ll admit it stung my ego just a tiny bit.

    I am currently struggling to find my MB type, as I mentioned the last time I commented. In that comment, I said something like “I want to know so that I can figure out which function is my co-pilot,” because I wanted to grow there.

    Then I heard Joel mention that sometimes, some people may use that lack of knowledge as a sub-conscious excuse for stalling growth. I heard that, and my jaw almost dropped — that’s totally what I’m doing!

    Whether my co-pilot function is Ne or Fe, or some other extraverted function, it is an external-world aspect that provides a really high-leverage point for me. I’m avoiding trying to set up healthy personal boundaries, to explore possibilities and novelties, etc., because I’m afraid I’ll be going after “the wrong thing” and screw something up in some way or another.

    So thank you very much for the accidental benefit you gave me through the discussion that followed. Thanks to one of your Profiler Training students, I may be able to discover my type sometime soon, but in the meantime, I now have a slightly more calibrated perspective on personal growth that I will happily attempt to use for my benefit.

    Again, thank you. As always, looking forward to hearing your next podcast! 🙂


  • Justine G

    Thanks again Guys,

    I’ve considered all the types and functions, and either none of them are particuarly close to a ‘tailored’ fit, or the descriptions are all over-focused on particular ‘flavours’ or manifestations of that type or function. Okay admittedly I haven’t considered some of them for very long, like ESTP for example. But I only have to see words like ‘fast’, ‘kinesthetic’, ‘present-focused’ etc. to know I am very likely looking in the wrong department. And I think I actually want to be ‘revealed’ as an ENTJ as I would probably never stop laughing.

    The only one I’ll regularly return to is INFP, partly because I’ve always been fascinated as to why a lot of people have ‘apparently’ fixed personalities, and why be like this rather than that, whereas I have a ‘glistening’ ideal of combining traits that shouldn’t go together. There’s other stuff that it doesn’t seem to fit though.

  • IxTx?

    Having the types on the podcast telling about themselves is something I have imagined for a long time would be an excellent idea. And now it’s becoming reality. Great!

    I was actually surprised to “WTF”-levels when you discussed the reasons behind correcting (or “correcting”) people mistyping themselves or others. I haven’t been doing that, as I don’t see myself as knowing enough to reliably do so, but if I were to, it would have nothing whatsoever to do with either bad intent or whatever your phrasing was, or trying to show my knowledge or “status”.
    I had not even thought of those things as even being a possible reason for doing so. If I ever were to, it would be for correcting a piece of misinformation, which would otherwise be dangerous in two ways:
    1: Causing people to mistype themselves by using it as a comparison to themselves, seeing that they are the same type as the other person, but the other person is mistyped, and hence they become mistyped.
    2: Propagating the misinformation by then claiming they are that type, while describing their actual type, which continues feeding into point 1 in a vicious circle.

    I believe this is already a big problem, and a reason I’ve been having trouble finding my type.
    It may not be a problem to use an unsure type for certain applications, in your case for personal growth, but it’s a huge problem to communicate it as certain when it’s not.

    (And yes, I know that there is nothing absolutely certain when it comes to type, but 97.5, or at the very least 95% should probably be the requirement. Otherwise one should only use statements like “I think”, “I’m not entirely sure, but”, etc.)

    To finish, I just want to remind you again that I’m not your main intended audience, I’m not looking for personal development. To use your hammer analogy, I neither want to collect them nor drive nails with them, but… perhaps use them to bang on something to make noise? I don’t know.
    What I want to do with understanding my own type anyway, is not to change myself, but rather change (or verify that I shouldn’t change) things around me in my life to better suit me, and avoid what would suit me worse.
    Understanding type in general is good when communicating with others.

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