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In this podcast Joel and Antonia talk about developing patience with yourself as you go through your personal development journey.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- As you’re making changes to free up your psychological energy, oftentimes you will feel stuck on the process. How do you survive and have patience with those big transition time periods?
- We have this idea that anything that doesn’t look concrete and tangible (anything that feels more abstract) should be quicker to achieve because you’re not facing the same physical challenges or limitations in the outside world.
- Generally, when we are making changes in our lives, we’re always going to see tangible or physical results. For example – getting better friendships and relationships.
- Understand that no matter what you do in life, it would always take time to manifest.
- Personal development works the same way because it also takes time.
- A lot of the tools and interventions involved in Personality Development require discipline and you may not notice it, but the changes appear subtle. This is because we are living with the results.
- Steve Pavlina wrote an Article about being patient in his personal development. He recommends not seeing it in timelines of 6 months – 1 year, but actually seeing it in timelines of 5-10 years (which you’ll see major changes).
- Any characteristic worth developing, is worth developing in 10 years.
- Try looking back at yourself 5 or 10 years ago and identify the major changes you made in your personality development.
- One of the reasons why we get impatient with ourselves is because we create unrealistic expectations.
- How do you survive when changes are happening very slowly? Setting realistic expectations and getting your needs met.
- Things are way more interconnected in life. There are different nodes/pieces that are needed in order for things to happen. Check out the episode about Systems Thinking.
- The more personal development you do, the easier it is to do the next one.
- One of the best ways to have patience during your personal development is to have those little celebrations (acknowledge your progress/changes).
- When we see other people who we believe are gurus (the people who inspire us), understand that it took them a long time too. It took them a long time to study (read books, attend seminars, etc.) work their way to the level of personal development they’re in.
- Remember that we are all in this path. For everyone, it’s a long timeline.
- Celebrate the small stuff, make sure that you’re doing a lot of energy management and have enough positive reinforcement. Keep an eye on your progress and the changes on how you’re improving.
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29 comments
Great Post on “Being patient with yourself” and especially thank you for your sharing of your vulnerable and personal moment with each other. That is true leadership.
You make good points regarding the long time line …….. however……I am 60 years old and have been doing personal work for years and years and years. I am a mental health professional and do my work in that area too and…..need to say that it is still extremely difficult to meet the kind of people, socially, in any forum who will connect at that deep level you speak of on your blogs. I am an INFJ and yes, I always want to go to the deepest possible level; and yes, I am sensitive and intuitive; and yes, I am sick to death of having people tell me that there is something wrong with that and I am too sensitive.
I do not want to be depressing to all those young people out there but it is important to know that there are no guarantees and as Antonia says, there is the external factors and not just the internal factors in this equation. Our Western culture does not encourage depth. Will I stop doing my Work? No, of course not, but it just means that one can, at times, even 30 years later get tired of the search.
YES YES to an online meet-up. Of INFJ’s?
Thanks for the article, Caroline! I fight the same tendency of ingratitude. I’ve been working harder to appreciate the present more. The two Ted Talks referenced in the article sound interesting too.
Thanks for the feedback, Leo!
Sure :)! By the way: I just remembered an article that might be helpful to impatient people: “Life is a Picture, But You Live in a Pixel” http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/11/life-is-picture-but-you-live-in-pixel.html
It is not quite about personal development but I think it still is very useful (and the info graphics are so much fun!).
Antonia, Joel, you are to be commended, one of the most outstanding podcasts I have heard. Thanks for being so courageous and sharing the level up story, it gave me a few personal realizations I am very grateful for. :o)
The main topic of using a longer time frame to evaluate our lives is fantastic. In a world somewhat focused on immediate gratifications and external competition, this sort of faulty thinking can poison our own natural tendency to grow out of it and be happy. The short game may be useful on occasion, however the long game is the real one.
Meet ups sound like a great idea.