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In this podcast Joel and Antonia talk about developing patience with yourself as you go through your personal development journey.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- As you’re making changes to free up your psychological energy, oftentimes you will feel stuck on the process. How do you survive and have patience with those big transition time periods?
- We have this idea that anything that doesn’t look concrete and tangible (anything that feels more abstract) should be quicker to achieve because you’re not facing the same physical challenges or limitations in the outside world.
- Generally, when we are making changes in our lives, we’re always going to see tangible or physical results. For example – getting better friendships and relationships.
- Understand that no matter what you do in life, it would always take time to manifest.
- Personal development works the same way because it also takes time.
- A lot of the tools and interventions involved in Personality Development require discipline and you may not notice it, but the changes appear subtle. This is because we are living with the results.
- Steve Pavlina wrote an Article about being patient in his personal development. He recommends not seeing it in timelines of 6 months – 1 year, but actually seeing it in timelines of 5-10 years (which you’ll see major changes).
- Any characteristic worth developing, is worth developing in 10 years.
- Try looking back at yourself 5 or 10 years ago and identify the major changes you made in your personality development.
- One of the reasons why we get impatient with ourselves is because we create unrealistic expectations.
- How do you survive when changes are happening very slowly? Setting realistic expectations and getting your needs met.
- Things are way more interconnected in life. There are different nodes/pieces that are needed in order for things to happen. Check out the episode about Systems Thinking.
- The more personal development you do, the easier it is to do the next one.
- One of the best ways to have patience during your personal development is to have those little celebrations (acknowledge your progress/changes).
- When we see other people who we believe are gurus (the people who inspire us), understand that it took them a long time too. It took them a long time to study (read books, attend seminars, etc.) work their way to the level of personal development they’re in.
- Remember that we are all in this path. For everyone, it’s a long timeline.
- Celebrate the small stuff, make sure that you’re doing a lot of energy management and have enough positive reinforcement. Keep an eye on your progress and the changes on how you’re improving.
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29 comments
This podcast gives a thoughtful explanation of the, “Wait… what?” that often accompanies scaling up. I think Antonia’s personal question about ‘choosing’ happiness is an especially helpful, practical insight for me.
YES to facilitating some kind of meet-up here in the Midwest. Chicago, Minneapolis, Des Moines, Iowa City, or Madison – onward and upward!
Thanks for the feedback Lisa! I’m glad Antonia and Joel’s style resonates with you so strongly.
As for a meetup in London, that would be awesome! I would love to be in a gaggle of other INFJs! ;)
I loved this podcast. I loved Antonia’s level up moment and the slight regression and that it he story was relayed from an honest place. Too many people would gloss over that and personal development isn’t that simple. Joel wanted to protect Antonia, and the courage of Antonia to give us what she was comfortable and even what she isn’t comfortable with was soul-affirming to listen to. I could feel the joy and the pain.
More of this please. The best podcasts and life stories come from the passion of the subject being shared. As I have said before on here, you two are an amazing couple and watching (listening to) your development is inspiring. It spurs me not to settle for any old relationship because I will not be happy if my partner and I don’t both explore self-development as this is the lifelong pursuit of this INFJ.
Re a Meetup group. I am in London and I would love to help you get that off the ground here.
I am a member of an Meetup London MBTI group, and we had the most amazing, stimulating meeting last Sunday. Ten INFJs there. I don’t know ten INFJs in real life.
Please, please contact me if I can support in any way.
This podcast is genius, and I’m so glad you’ve made it! Informative and of great importance. Thanks for opening up, as an introvert (and Fi dom) I know how uneasy it can be. (I hide most of my inner life – even miscellaneous little pieces! – except for really close relationships). I cried when you talked about beauty, Antonia – I can relate.
Also the thing about patience and different phases you go through when developing, it’s spot on and gives you a new perspective. I had similar period in my life, I just felt dumb having all those ‘’good intentions’’ and reading so much about personal development, yet still achieving ‘nothing’. I look at it differently now :) I see it’s some kind of process I might not understand fully, and I refrain from judging it. Just accept it while striving for the best.
I’ll let it sink in and it’ll surely sparkle a discussion later ;)
Thanks for your comment, Marilyn! I’m sorry you feel it has been such a struggle to find like-minded people. I have a theory that there are more Intuitives now than ever before. Which means there are more being born every generation. Older generations may not have seen the saturation we are seeing now (“saturation” being a completely relative word). Or, if there were Intuitives in older generations they were forced to blend and are pretty much unrecognizable. If the people you are surrounded with are not Intuitive, I can see how it may seem like you are lost on a desert isle.
There are ways to find more Intuitives, but it is challenging to an introvert. Here are some ideas: http://www.personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0024-finding-your-tribe/
Until we launch the online meet-up, please be assured you can reach out to us (I’m an INFJ). My email is charis@personalityhacker.com.