After Joel and I released a podcast on the INFJ personality, we received an overwhelming response from INTJs for more information on understanding their type. (Perspectives/Effectiveness in the Genius System).
That makes sense – these two types (the INFJ and the INTJ) are almost certainly the most misunderstood by both others and by themselves.
I’d argue that INFJs are a little easier to understand. That might be because my mother is an INFJ and I grew up around her, but there’s something about the acute pain an INFJ experiences that is an entrance into understanding them. As if the pain, itself, was a foot in the door of entering in and seeing the whole picture.
To find an entrance into an INTJ is much, much more difficult. Everything they exhibit is more subtle and muted, and the rabbit’s hole goes very deep.
As an ENTP, INTJs are my “Power Pair,” and there’s no doubt that I’ve found myself surrounded by them my entire life. I’ve lived with them, worked with them, fought with them, coached them, made love to and been rendered jelly while kissing them… you get the picture.
For all of my experience with INTJs, there are a couple of crucial components without which I don’t think you can really understand this type:
1) An INTJ is almost invariably smarter than the vast majority of people in analytical, existential, and linguistic intelligence.
There are other types that outperform INTJs in IQ tests (for example, INTPs), but I would venture to say that in all the ways society chooses to acknowledge ‘intelligence’, INTJs as a group outclass just about everyone else.
(Sure, other personality types outclass them in intra- and introspective intelligences, and of course kinesthetic/body awareness intelligence. But most cultures diminish the importance of these styles.
To truly understand an INTJ it’s important to realize that they are almost always ‘the smartest person in the room’ in the ways that we all have been socially programmed to recognize “smart.” This is a double-edged sword.
2) INTJs are built like arthropods, and have an exoskeleton.
And it’s not purely a defensive strategy. Unlike the INFJ type that uses a ‘hard candy shell’ as protection against the world, an INTJ’s exoskeleton is a necessary part of their makeup. But like all things we come out of the hatch with, it can be used defensively. I’ll explain in a moment.
3) INTJs are a LOT more sensitive than you realize.
What’s the point of an exoskeleton? To protect the squishy, nougat-like center, of course.
If you don’t see past the hard exterior and acknowledge just how vulnerable the inner world is, you cannot understand this type.
Before we talk about all that, let’s look at The Car Model for the INTJ personality type:
The INTJ Driver is Perspectives (introverted intuition)
Perspectives is the process that helps INTJ’s watch their own minds form patterns, get inside the minds of others and allows them to see implications far into the future.
The INTJ CoPilot is Effectiveness (extraverted thinking).
Effectiveness makes decisions based on practical application, answering the question “What works?” Effectiveness creates metrics to determine milestones, and closing loops.
The INTJ 10-Year-Old is Authenticity (introverted feeling)
Authenticity, when done well, is all about “What feels RIGHT.”
It’s how we get in touch with how things are impacting us on a subjectively emotional level, and it’s where we create conviction.
The INTJ 3-Year-Old is Sensation (extraverted sensing)
Sensation, when done well, is how we stay present in the moment, and process the extraordinary amount of sensory detail that is coming at us at all times.
It’s also where we get in touch with what gives us an adrenaline rush and how we improvise with our bodies.
(If you’re a Myers-Briggs geek, the primary cognitive function for this type is Introverted Intuition, the secondary is Extraverted Thinking, the tertiary is Introverted Feeling and the inferior is Extraverted Sensing.)
If you look at most profiles about the INTJ personality type, they’ll focus on the Mastermind quality of the INTJ. Long range strategy, designing truly complex systems that can be replicated, finding the weaknesses in infrastructure… INTJs are the walking think tanks that streamline the world.
But there’s only so much think tanking the world wants done, and the overwhelming majority of INTJs are just looking for a job that doesn’t make them want to stab their eyes out.
This is important to recognize – most INTJs are only somewhat satisfied in their career choice.
You’ll see INTJs peppered throughout universities as professors, in I.T. and programming departments as developers, engineers, etc.
Regardless, most INTJs are not utilizing the full wattage of their problem-solving, think tanking abilities. So there’s always this feeling, however deep and unconscious, that their talents – or even they, themselves – are being ‘wasted’.
Because of their introverted nature, INTJs have a strong need to be acknowledged and given credit, but without the indignity of having to do cartwheels.
Remember when I said they outclass almost everyone in three very socially recognized forms of intelligence?
It can be a source of frustration that not everyone automatically sees the full extent of this, though they are often considered by people who know them to be ‘very smart’. This gives birth to a couple of other things that just become “INTJ Problems.”
First, as a society we tend to glamorize raw computing power, but we don’t have a lot of love for people who come up with solutions that mean we have to change stuff.
So, we tend to marginalize problem-solvers… unless those problem-solvers are putting dollar bills into our pockets.
Most true solutions mean going through a painful transitional cycle, and the more far reaching the problem the longer the transition.
Our culture favors efficiency over effectiveness, which will drive an INTJ crazier than anything.
Creating sustainable models are the crack cocaine of INTJs, and living in a world that’s so short-sighted can make them jaded and cynical.
Second, there’s a major tendency to ‘double down’ on being so much smarter than everyone else, and therefore being dismissive.
No one – and I mean NO ONE – puts as much thought into things like an INTJ does, according to the INTJ.
And to some extent that’s true – it’s a rare bird that thinks as long and hard about anything as they do.
But this dismissive attitude, combined with a perpetual feeling of being marginalized, creates the perfect context to generate pride as an emergent.
Once an INTJ gets stuck in the ‘no one else sees what I see, thinks as long and hard as I think, understand like I understand’ loop, the inclination to stay in the realm of ideas and conceptualizing becomes almost too attractive.
I mentioned before that an INTJ is like an arthropod, with an exoskeleton and a very squishy center.
Like INFJs, INTJs use the Perspectives process to be able to see things as others see them and get in the heads of other people.
But unlike INFJs, they don’t couple this with a CoPilot that checks in with others emotional experience.
INTJs couple their Driver of Perspectives with a more analytical process – Effectiveness – which gives them some psychological and emotional distance from others.
This is the INTJ exoskeleton – a hard, outer shell that gives them room to think about long-range implications.
They create their own ‘space’ – or, intellectual work room – that allows for truly exceptional thinking.
However, their 10-Year-Old process is Authenticity, encouraging the INTJ to be sympathetic of the subjective human experience.
Whenever they engage in this mental process there’s a part of them that knows they’re a sitting duck… because in some ways they are.
Perspectives allows INTJs to see how others see, Authenticity encourages them to mirror back how others feel.
Because an INTJ is able to occupy both the headspace and the heartspace of another person, they become at that person’s mercy.
The exoskeleton that Effectiveness provides creates necessary and healthy boundaries to ensure they don’t get ‘squished’ by others.
(When they don’t have permission to use and exercise Effectiveness – some have reported that many attempts to become leaders or to get projects accomplished were frustrated by either parents, the school system, or other influencers and so they just ‘stopped trying’ – they use Authenticity as a defense the only way they know how: they call upon the emotion of pride to get them through as a barrier between themselves and the object that can hurt them.)
Before you’re allowed entrance in an INTJ's life, you must be vetted for trustworthiness.
Like INFJs, there is a sense of others being able to do real damage, and ensuring they aren’t inviting in a ‘bull into the china shop’.
Once you’re in, though, you’re IN. I’ve held grown INTJ men as they wept for a lost love because I was ‘in’. I had been invited into the inner sanctum of that squishy space, and I was allowed to experience first-hand their amazing sensitivity.
Without the exoskeleton, there would be no way for an INTJ to protect against the world's invasive chaos and "noise."
As I mentioned before, unlike an INFJ who can use a ‘hard candy shell’ defensively and must learn to be a conduit for others emotional experience, an INTJ’s exoskeleton isn’t naturally meant for retreat.
But if misused it can become a defensive strategy, particularly against suggestions to get into action. To illustrate how an actual exoskeleton works:
Since exoskeletons are rigid, they present some limits to growth.
Organisms with open shells can grow by adding new material to the aperture of their shell, as is the case in snails, bivalves and other molluscans.
A true exoskeleton, like that found in arthropods must be shed (moulted) when it is outgrown.
A new exoskeleton is produced beneath the old one. As the old one is shed, the new skeleton is soft and pliable.
The animal will pump itself up to expand the new shell to maximal size, then let it harden. When the shell has set, the empty space inside the new skeleton can be filled up as the animal eats.
Failure to shed the exoskeleton once outgrown can result in the animal being suffocated within its own shell, and will stop subadults from reaching maturity, thus preventing them from reproducing.
-Wikipedia, “Exoskeleton”
I’m about to go massively abstract, so please bear with me.
A big part of the perpetual learning most INTJs do is to build on that exoskeleton – or, in other words, be more and more prepared for a world that isn’t very kind to creatures who lack awareness.
In order to experience real growth, an INTJ needs to feel certain that they won’t be “left to the elements” during the process.
Meaning, if they think they’ll be massively exposed they’re simply not going to venture out into a world that could crush them like a grape.
But if they burrow in and never allow themselves to experience life, they risk “suffocating within their own shell,” so to speak.
Growth, itself, can be slow because there’s always a question of how much, how quickly?
Much of the growth an INTJ does is internal – remember, the new exoskeleton is being built underneath the existing skeleton.
That means a lot of growth is happening where you can’t see it, and so outside forces will give the INTJ feedback that they aren’t making fast enough progress simply because it’s all under the surface.
That said, it can be truly difficult for the INTJ to be willing to shed the old exoskeleton in favor of the new one, which is by definition softer and more vulnerable.
If they do have the guts, though, this is generally a time period of extraordinary growth for the INTJ.
For example, all of a sudden a once shy INTJ can become outgoing with an insane social schedule.
There is a time period of ‘experience gluttony’ as they grow into their new shell, and once the growth happens, often they settle down and appear to level out.
These moments of growth are incredibly important, and if they don’t give themselves permission they will ‘suffocate’ under the weight of their old shell.
In the most healthy versions of INTJs, the growth phase will also encourage massive implementation, building something that can be measured.
They position themselves in consulting or team-leading roles where others can bring their ideas to the ‘outside world’ and they can vet the ideas outside of mere concepts.
The less healthy the INTJ, though, the more they stay in the world of conceptualizing, think-tanking, idea-generating, etc. There is no end to learning, and they will always be in need of more of it.
The extraordinary amount of content and material consumed by an INTJ can be staggering to think about.
While impressive, if the INTJ never graduates to implementation (either by themselves or through a team) they sink further and further into a world that can’t be visited by others.
They disqualify themselves from intimate connections, relationships and from being able to have the impact on the world they crave.
The key to growth for INTJs can be found in the CoPilot process of Effectiveness.
Many INTJs find themselves unsure of what exactly they want to bring to the world, and feel they have to have a complete picture of what it looks like before they can move forward.
I’ve heard INTJs say things to the effect that they can’t go socializing until they ‘get their life together’, but still not have a clear idea of what that would look like.
Unfortunately, that lack of clarity is in and of itself a defensive strategy. The less well defined the goal, the more murky the definitions, the further away from action they allow themselves to be.
When an INTJ truly steps into their genius, they have clearly defined mile markers.
Effectiveness is all about creating a linear strategy to get to a goal, and creating metrics to determine what ‘done’ looks like.
The most empowering action an INTJ can take is:
1) Being aware of their own personal stall tactics
2) Clearly outlining metricized markers on the way to a goal
There’s a host of quotes about what can’t be measured can’t be managed, or improved upon.
While that may or may not be empirically true, it is true for the INTJ, and is the key to INTJ fulfillment and happiness.
When an INTJ gets into action and begins reaching mile markers, their concepts are no longer abstractions.
They can be vetted, improved upon, test/iterated. But most importantly, the INTJ is making an impact on their environment, which may be one of the most satisfying things they experience.
If you’re in a relationship with an INTJ personality, one of the best ways to build intimacy is both intellectual and emotional honesty with yourself.
If an INTJ suspects that you can be exploitative – that you can mess with someone’s emotions or be intentionally cruel – they will shut you out as quickly as possible.
Being vulnerable is precious to an INTJ and they appreciate it when you express it.
Staying present, working through an issue, and being unwilling to be cruel with an INTJ is the surest way to their heart.
-Antonia
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317 comments
Ok…seriously this article on INTJs made me smile and giggle like a child. You were able to parse out and illustrate very miniscule details that every other website/article has failed at. I have never been proud of a complete and utter stranger, but you have managed that with your article. You rock!
I’ve taken the Meyers-Briggs several times throughout my life (middle school, high school, college, afterwards, etc.) I received the INTJ classification every single time…
I’ve been mostly in the scientific field for most of my professional life (chemist, biochemist, pharmaceutical r&d, microbiology, etc.)I also do homework/thesis work for graduate students on the down-low (Shame on me, I know). I am just about to turn 30 and feel that I can never find enough stuff to cure my insatiable thirst for information and novelty. When you stated that INTJs are “just looking for a job that doesn’t make them want to stab their eyes out.” I had to stop myself from cackling in a filled break-room at work. Great stuff!
Nowadays, I’ve entered into swing trading, computer programming, and growing orchids to give myself challenging new outlets. These are well past the ‘fad’ stage as I have been doing them for about 2 years now. I think that this has helped me, as would probably help other INTJs, to actually DO something rather than remain in the conceptual/theoretical stage.
Additionally, after seeing so many depressing posts here, I can’t help but feel that most of these other INTJs can’t manage to see the forest for the trees. Every time I get down or depressed, I simply take a step back and look at the immense beauty and complexity of the systems that surround me every single second of every single day.
I mean Christ, just looking at a silly friggin’ orchid plant…do you understand how AMAZINGLY complicated and methodical that thing is? For those of us who are depressed and ‘distant’…take a look around yourself and connect with something. It doesn’t have to be a person or a group. It can be a system, a theory, a problem, or even a fleeting idea. I feel for you guys.
Anyways, thank you so much Antonia, as you are an excellent source to bringing meaningful dialogue to the arena of personality psychology. I will continue to listen to your podcast and support you guys in any way that I can. Take care and keep kickin’ arse!
INTJ, female, 43 y.o. here, love your article!!! Any of my close friends (that small bunch), besides my parents and my husband (very supportive, with a huge patience to wait for years before I let him enter inside the mental circle I live in) would recognise me, it’s a very faithful portrait!
The achieving-aspect of the article is what I needed most right now, and I wish to thank you for writing it. In this period I have been feeling a bit lost inside my head as I have been brooding for too long over the book which I am about to write. I wrote and published other 4 books before, so I know I can do it, and yet everytime I struggle with the plan and the “where to start” issue. I think about it for soooooo long till I am absolutely exhausted. At the point, with not energy left, I manage to start writing, at last. Which is stupid, really, because I know perfectly well that starting anywhere will be ok, and the starting is the most important step (actually: the only one) I have to take. I don’t know why I face this strong resistance against committing to a start. Your solution, measuring up progresses, clarifying small goals and transferring from the big picture to the execution of one task at a time has always worked beautifully with me. it’s just that I need to arrive at a point of “ripeness” before that path is opened to me! It has been like this for every book, so why am I surprised? I just hoped I would learn to cut some corners, with the experience on my side. Would love if you could share your suggestions about this, in case other INTJ have faced this problem before. Maybe it’s only a problem with being indecisive. I am very indecisive, in general. Only the enthusiasm can push me into decision making :-)
From exdepressed INTJ to depressed INTJ, I’d like to help you, if you want.
The one thing that helped me when I was depressed, was to find “value” in myself. I mean, I was unemployed, without a degree, living with my parents and using their money to do… nothing. I have never had a man in my life (truly, as an INTJ, you have had quite a lot of success on THIS department), and very few friends (IF they can be called that, as I keep them at arm’s reach).
Finding out that I was in SOME WAY needed and RELEVANT, was very, very important. Me? I went to nursing school. Talking to people, it seems, is very good for mental health. And I don’t mean meaningful talks, oh no. I mean giving “good morning, Mrs. Reynolds!” or “Nice weather today, huh?” and seeing what comes out of that.
Listening to others, specially old people (who are usually lonely and even a bit depressed themselves), and seeing how their faces brighten up when they receive a little bit of attention? It is wonderful. And to think that it was YOU who caused such happiness? Priceless.
Small steps. You don’t need to find a new work now, you just need to get your groove back. Just force yourself to be kind to strangers; even faking happiness helps the brain to produce hormones to help revert depression.
We tend to rationalize our depression, and even give reasons on why we are probably hated by others, or why we will fail if we try anything. Be smarter, and tell your brain to stop being a suicidal piece of flesh. You are an INTJ: you control every aspect of your being. The Brain is subjected to you, NOT the other way around!
PS: religion? It is actually quite helpful. When you get to the full understanding of things – and not the wishy-washy version society sends us today -, your view of the world changes. You open your eyes to other ways in which you can manipulate the world to your pleasure, at the same time that you rid yourself from the desire to manipulate it :P I may sound silly, but trust me on this: there is more intellectual usage in theological debates than what the current “Protestants vs. Catholics” may lead us to believe.
I’m not sure where to start… INTJ male, 30, health/outdoor oriented, entrepreneurly minded. Antonia feel free to jump in here, I’m impressed and am grateful for all your efforts in building this community, you gave me some clarity and some hope. Currently struggling. I could use some healing, but I have a deep drive and desire to create, produce and achieve. I can spend all day at the library, or buying some marketing course and digging in. Which I’ve become quite brilliant in. I aspire to open a business, failed a couple of times and have learned a lot. (I replied on this comment because Nonsense seems to have figured out something I could use). I hate jobs and feel I’m wasting my time. People tell me I’m smart but recently I struggle to even pay my bills. I tell myself I can’t be that smart if I can’t hold a job that interest me or get myself to do things that seem so brainless. I have zero motivation to do something that’s not fulfilling. I’m not money hungry but I understand the importance of income and the risk and loss of freedom that come with low income. The last 10 years have been hard and I’ve never thought about giving up (but I do notice myself getting tired and weaker… That scares me).
I’m in the process of starting another business that I would actually like, good timing, good product. But I keep running into funding issues and lenders want me to “get a job” to prove the income.. That’s like asking me to drink some water to keep myself from drowning. Anyway, with all of that back ground information (and I could give you a lot more), my question is: When it comes to being effective, and producing real income, are you aware of anything an intj would enjoy doing to get decently instant income?(It seems all of my ideas are complex creatures that require a lot of things in place in order to make it work. I like the word “emergent” and how the little things come together at the right time to create a bigger more powerful, effective organism or result). Maybe all of the little pieces are just a stall of some sort. But funding is very important piece. Thank you in advance for your comments and help, I appreciate it.
OMG. I just posted a super long and laboriously thought-out answer to your question about Ni/Fi vs Fi/Ni and the page just ate it when I hit ‘submit’.
After I’m done weeping I’ll do my best to recreate it. (I hope the grieving process is short.)
A