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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFP personality type.
In this podcast on INFP Personality Type you’ll find:
- Why are INFPs misunderstood?
- The cognitive function is a mental process that helps you learn information or make decisions.
- The 4 letter code tells you how your brain is wired. It’s like an entrance on how you learn processes.
- Authenticity – Is a way that you (as an INFP) make your decisions which is more inclined what resonates with you the most as a person.
- INFPs understand emotions on a whole different level.
- Questions to ethics become very intriguing to INFPs. For example: “what determines an ethical or moral action?”
- Authenticity is very in touch with the subjective human experience.
- Authenticity is where we humans find conscience. Because that’s when we ask, “how do we honor people’s individuality?”
- Oftentimes, INFPs become masters of human experience in general.
- The ability to determine that something resonates is a maturity of the Authenticity process. As it matures, it understands that not everything they experience is the same as everyone.
- Do INFPs truly want to be understood?
- Nobody could be 100% understand them apart from themselves.
- INFPs feel being marginalized and dismissed way more than being misunderstood.
- INFPs seek validation.
- We want to acknowledge that they have a specific type of pain based from their personality type.
- Authenticity type should be balanced with Exploration. Exploration (the co-pilot function) is about advanced pattern recognition in the outside world – thinking behind the curtain.
- If you want more description or definition, check out our episode “Introverted Intuition VS Extraverted Intuition”.
- Your superpowers are developed when you learn to master your co-pilot.
- Art is one of the places where INFPs thrive.
- Art is a communication of feeling and INFPs simply flourish in this context. They create art that’s impactful.
- For INFPs, they tend to recall how they felt/reacted in the past.
- They have the ability to mirror emotions. They don’t need to mirror emotions in real time. For example, the can look at an art piece and mirror the emotion to themselves.
- Authenticity people tend to recall how they feel/how they imagined they would feel and then instantly replicating the emotion inside them.
- The emotional language can be transferred in long extensive periods of time.
- In order to be authentic, you need to have a mature and vast understanding of how the world works.
- Intent: The Darker aspect of Authenticity. INFPs tend to try to give a reason that’s combated with logic.
- INFPs tend to defend their intent, because they see a wide array of positive and negative intent. They understand how people can easily go and slip into bad intent.
- Healthy INFPs view everything has positive intent.
- Being able to understand that darkness is universal and part of the human experience will help you accept yourself.
- How to go about making a living as an INFP?
- Getting something done can sometimes be very challenging for INFPs.
- INFPs have the desire to make an impact and be an inspirational leader. Oftentimes, they will disregard the passion they have. Passion is extremely important.
- Authenticity people can have the tendency to marginalize people. Make sure you do what you’re passionate with. Check in with yourself what you really want.
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215 comments
Just a few thoughts. I’m an INFP my wife is and INFJ.
Your dead on with the emotional Aikido. It’s always been an unconscious thing I did when I wanted to. If that makes sense. If I cared about the person or wanted to help them I would just go into that mode. I didn’t realize it was unique to my type. I just thought that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone is upset. I do this to my wife all the time. A 5 min conversation and boom everything is fine.
Your also spot on with INFJ’s absorbing emotions. If my wife is upset I do my Aikido thing, but if I’m upset she also becomes upset and by the end of it I’m the one helping her to feel better. Weird.
I’ve also noticed it seems I’m better at explaining why I think things that she is. She’s is most often the one to say “I just know, but can’t explain it.”
I definitely see how I kind of collect experiences and emotions, map them out, and then reference them when I choose. It’s really strange and disturbing sometimes. For example, I can read the news and then I can really experience how the situation felt. Like I can put myself in the room and feel the tension and how the people felt. I can also imagine things like what it would be like to live in an ancient city so vividly it’s almost like actual memories. I don’t do it often, sometimes it’s fun. Sometimes I’ll read about a murder and make myself sick.
I really struggle with making decisions. With any decision. I feel like there are so many factors and each one would need to be explored to determine the best decision. And, I can’t live with anything except the best decision. I can narrow decisions down to just a few options, but I need someone else to push through to just one. I always want things to be win win. If it’s not then we just have to be more creative.
Another difference between INFP and INFJ. When discussion someone who’s done something wrong. I will usually say “Yes, they did something wrong, but I can see why they did it.” Depending on the situation I would probably say I didn’t really expect them to do much better. Then I would probably try and figure out the underlying reason why. My INFJ with would be much stricter. “The fact is they did something wrong.” Why they did it doesn’t play as big of a factor for her. To her they made a choice. To me they made a choice but were weaken by impulse or addiction or some kind of influence.
Just a few thoughts. Thanks for the podcast and taking the time to indulge us.
I’m an INFP, and my husband of 5 years in an INFJ. We have listened to both of the longer INFP & INFJ podcasts together and WOW! We kept pausing the podcast every 20 seconds or so to talk and reflect. So about the INFP podcast, here are some random thoughts:
Thank you so much, Joel and Antonia, for putting into words something I cannot! I use authenticity to make decisions, and my decisions are every bit as valid as the other 7 types, but trying to verbalize the steps I use when I make these decisions is almost impossible. This knowledge of “how” I do this will help me so much going forward, because even though I rarely doubt my decisions after I have taken them and know that I made the right one, the people around me often CONTINUE to doubt them and when I try to explain myself, social disaster strikes!! But thanks to this podcast, I will have the ability to let criticism like this roll off my shoulders. I will not let those around me invalidate my decisions now, just because I don’t have “data points” haha! And Joel, the comment you made about this, “When it matters, it REALLY matters!” totally resonated with me. Thanks again for explaining authenticity!! Although they love me and support me, my ESTJ and ISTJ parents just don’t get me, and now I know why!
I had NO IDEA that I “practice” emotional aikido/emotional alchemy in a positive way, although I knew that I could use that kind of power “for evil”. My husband confirmed that I do use it for good though, noting that I can turn his frustration into something to laugh about, or turn his anger into understanding. So I realized that the only aikido that I had been conscious of was of the negative type (this was something I just called “being super passive aggressive”). For example, my mom is an ESTJ, I am pretty darn sure of it. This made everything 10 times more difficult and annoying between us when I was growing up (I’ll be 28 this summer). And when I made decisions (feeling/authenticity) and had no way to explain how or why, it would lead to the inevitable invalidation of my intent and feelings. So, as retribution, I could turn her happy, “productive” ESTJ day into a total nightmare, fairly easily. It was the only way I knew to “get back” at her for invalidating me! It’s terrible but that’s what I did. So in listening to your podcast with someone who knows me very well, it was good to know that I can actually use that power for good as well! (I just thought of it as “cheering up” somebody). And it’s something that I am going to focus on honing even more this summer and I’m actually pretty freaking excited about it.
I really appreciated the advice about following passion and turning it into a living, although I am still so unsure of how to implement this advice!! I am still navigating through my many hobbies and passions, trying to arrive at THE passion of all my passions, but I’m not there yet. I have spent a decade getting to where I am now, so it may take more time. Sometimes, though, it just seems too hopeless and too good to be true that I could have a job that I actually like and enjoy. Right now, I’m stuck in that half-assing-it phase you guys mentioned in the podcast. It’s so yucky down here!!! The procrastination has got to stop!
I would’ve liked to have learned more about the 10 year old and 3 year old parts of the INFP car model. You guys may have covered it elsewhere but I’ve never learned anything about them.
Thanks so much!!!!!!
Hi,
As an infp i found this podcast a very interesting view on infps, it certainly gave me some extra insight about my self. I’m sharing the below to help other infp find their way in life and give guidance as this is hard to find, i think especially for our type.
The most remarkable moment listening to the podcast for me was the authenticity aikido move. I do that, apparently I have a superpower and never gave myself permission to use it. though I did use it, but I limited it to be used quite inefficiently. I tend to quickly grasp what a person wants/needs from me and I like to give it to them and often I forget about considering my self in that situation, so often I agree to things that are not beneficial to me. often with work related pressures I tend to get really overloaded, overcommitted and in the end losing touch with my self and having to let down quality as a consequence. Then with my exploration as co pilot I tend to nuance a story in such a way that it doesn’t come out as all that bad, just to not freak them out too much. Im quite stuck as I feel overloaded and the fact that others around me are not busy at all and I’m literally flying around almost every week, yet I am so poorly in making my case in proving im too busy, it just keeps stacking up. Its a mystery to me that others don’t pick up or care on how stressed out I am. The fact that im stressed out I can deal with, my fuses will never blow, but I resent having to let down others, especially close ones.
This podcast told me that my challenge is to give myself permission flip my authenticity around and start using it to work for me and appeal and influence my way to giving myself more space so I can help others from a better position.
Antonia and Joel! I want to ask that if you ever sequal this podcast to talk about how in mbti there is a thing I’d call cognitive hijack (couldn’t find the term) where the 3 year old is taking over as a judging function and just doesn’t seem to let go, for decades. I think it’s to answer to the demand of giving concrete logical answers to the outside world, and it creeps up when you’re too young to balance it with the driver function. I’ve certainly had that in my teens and twenties and i’m slowly growing out of it in my thirties. Because of the hijack I used to think I was intp or infp, and figured that maybe i was inxp, but once I understood the cognitive functions I realised that this was nonsense. Then only much later i found the culprit.
Its been a long journey but my Effectiveness got me through university as an engineer and into a technical consulting job where I am outclassed by effectiveness and precision users. luckily im slowly finding my way to requirements specification and UAT testing where I can use my skills on customers to help them with change management in the form of getting them comfortable and come to terms with using new systems that completely change the way they work. It can be really frightning for our customers as they have to sign off on the product at some point and take ownership of a very complex system and they are unsure if we will support or extort them. I compare it to being strapped to a rocket. Im known to be the guy you send when you want to send a friendly face, clean up the mess, ease the nerves, de-escalate and repair trust.
I am working on my exit strategy, and am looking for feedback using my authenticity as I move in the corporate world. I need to learn this before my next step.
In the future I plan to have my own small company that will help improve my own condition and with what I learn, the human condition. I plan to work with other companies to make sure the services offered will continue while I scale up and use my authenticity to find new areas to improve my own condition and that of others in turn.
Good luck infps and for other types: thanks for not tldr,
Mike.
Hey, just wanted to say thanks for this podcast and all the other work you’ve done.
As a recently self identified infp, I just wanted to share my agreement with a lot of your assessments here. Specifically your breakdown of the infp ability to go to dark places in a very “visceral” way. I’ve had multiple occasions of friends or acquaintances bringing up darker subject matter in a joking way and I find myself having flashes of almost being in those situations, which caused me to shut off emotionally as a kid, or learn to awkwardly laugh it off as an adult. I actually tend to refer to the experience as feeling “gutted”. Some more perceptive people pick up on this tendency and have inquired about it, but I’m always too ashamed to elaborate on what I’ve felt and have always just internalized the experience to try and process it myself.
As an aspiring artist and a self-harming, immature INFP I have to say my thank you. I feel validated, ahah. There has been many sentences that hit me hard (making-me-cry hard) and made me think about myself in an more objective way.
I am not sure if I’ll actually be able to use any of this knowledge to make myself a better and more mature INFP, but it still gave me a lot. So thank you! You are both amazing. I wish I could tell what types are people around me to listen to your podcasts on them and understand them better, but it seems impossible with my feeble knowledge about the 15 other types.