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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the power of making decisions using the system of your own unique personality type.
In this podcast you’ll find:
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How does the system of our Myers-Briggs® personality type work together to help us make our decisions?
- Can knowing our type help us make better decisions? The power of models, maps and tools
- Example – an ENTJ and a box of cookies
- What does a systems thinking approach to decision making look like?
- Why decision making is difficult in a post-modern world.
- How an ENTJ and an INTP can use their cognitive functions to decide whether or not to buy the box of cookies.
- Understanding your backseat functions – what to do if the decision is coming from your 10 Year Old or 3 Year Old function.
- Coaching others to help them make better decisions for themselves
- What are the two different roles the Perceiving and the Judging functions play in decision making?
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Why is it harder for Perceivers to make decisions?
- How introverted and extraverted judging functions differ in coming to decisive action.
- The importance of “experiencing” as a Perceiver
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How can understanding the nature of our functions help with decision making?:
- Memory (Si) and Perspectives (Ni) – how their infinite nature can trick us
- Accuracy (Ti) and Authenticity (Fi) – why they can never come to a satisfying conclusion
- Exploration (Ne) and Sensation (Se) – why do they need to explore?
- Harmony (Fe) and Effectiveness (Te) – the downside of making quick decisions
- Activity – use the Car Model to answer question: “should I buy a pack of cookies?”
- Each function has a different relationship with consuming cookies.
- Self awareness when it comes to your back-seat functions and making decisions.
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17 comments
My INFJ cookie buying decision process:
Ni: Where would this purchase have a future impact? (i.e. Does it support a cause I care about? Does it align with my health goals?) Are there other perspectives/options? (ex. If I care about the cause but don’t want to actually consume the cookie- can I make just a donation to the organization or purchase the cookies and donate or gift them?)
Fe: Does someone I love like these kinds of cookies? Do I have a social event or people coming to visit soon? Am I interacting with a person who is trying to sell me these cookies and do I want to create good feelings for them by buying or contributing?
Ti: Do I have an internal model of the person I want to buy the cookies for in my mind and how does what I know factor in? (Ex. My husband has just started a strict diet, my father in law has recently been diagnosed with a peanut allergy, etc.) Do these cookies violate any of the rules of my other inner models? (ex. Heavily processed foods and preservatives are not good for human consumption.)
At this point, Fe and Ti could disagree and I will start weighing the two. For instance “My father in law is coming to visit and he would like these cookies but I generally think processed foods are bad.” Do I have the resources (time/energy/ingredients/etc.) to make homemade cookies instead? No? Okay, what are the actual nutritional facts of the cookies? How “bad” are they? How much enjoyment would he actually get from these- do they have his absolute favorite flavor? Are there any absolute black and white deal breakers for me? (i.e. Trans-fats.)
Like “innocent until proven guilty”, I will always rule in favor of Fe unless Ti can make an airtight case against it.
Se: Impulse decision, too stressed/tired/overwhelmed/hungry to make choices any other way. “Those look good. I’ll enjoy eating them.” (I then proceed to buy 5 boxes because I want ALL the flavor sensations, and I eat 2-3 bites of each type of cookie, because that’s all it takes for the enjoyment sensation to stop being “worth it” unless the cookie is exceptionally delicious. The next morning, when I’m feeling better, I guiltily try to give them away or end up throwing them away.)
As an INTJ, here’s how the cookie buying decision goes for me:
Ni: Why is it that I have cookies on the mind right now? Will buying or eating cookies compromise my long term goals in any way?
Te: Are cookies going to help me get things done? Do I need them for fuel for my long run (I’m an ultra runner, sometimes this is yes). Am I buying the cookies to pacify my teenagers so they don’t interrupt my work? Was I asked to bring food to a business function and I just want it off my mind?
Fi: My husband said something about not feeling lovable. He also said he had a craving for peanut butter cookies. I have a hard time showing him how much I love him. I know, I can show him my love with cookies! He’ll know I was listening! (At this point, I often need to call in the grown up functions or I go overboard. As in asking Ni if it’s good for him to be indulged with cookies repeatedly). Can also get into a weird Ni-Fi loop when under stress where I think of environmental or health impacts of certain foods and check in if they meet my value standards and can’t stop analyzing. So need to be aware I could be avoiding using Te to take action on something more important.
Se: Mmm cookies. So yummy. Basically usually allow the enjoyment of the taste of cookies but use the “older” functions to ensure I don’t over do. Se can also contribute to impulse buying if it doesn’t check in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZLtcTZP2js
(sorry for the british humour)
This saves me from my Ni-Ti loops and helps me not take myself so seriously! It is also the reason I stopped eating “herbal” cookies…. My Fe could not handle the baffled looks people gave me :-D
In all seriousness though, this gave me alot of food for thought that I look forward to figuring out for myself over the next few days.
I loved the level of abstraction btw.
In general, I see the ENFP stack as this in decision making
Ne: Wants to explore new ideas and concepts. What is new and exciting? Ne is always hunting for new ways to do something.
Fi: What is authentic to me? How will this action make me feel? Do I want to feel that way? How does this align or not align with my values?
Te: Is this feasible? Do I have enough money, time, energy, resources?
Si: Concerned with precedent. Often inferior Si leads to comfort seeking because Si here is basically small, vulnerable, and in need of protection. For me, I find my sense of danger here. This is the part of me that wants to spend the day cuddled under a blanket reading a favorite book (I’m a compulsive rereader, something I attribute to Si).
As an ISTJ who has been trying to develop my Te for some time now, I notice that it does indeed trick me at times to make rushed decisions that my tertiary function (Fi) doesn’t approve of. And also they tend to backfire on Te too, because bad decisions are not effective. My driver, Si, loves this of course because it can learn so much from the mistakes that need to be fixed and never repeated. Now that I think of it, these functions work beautifully together most of the time. Although lately I’ve felt a strong urge to change and develop, maybe even transcend to the next Graves -level. This has caused an increased amount of lesser bad decisions. Even when I feel that those decisions have been influenced by my driver. Not sure if I’m just trying to move forward too quickly and my functions are not sophisticated enough, or is it just the regular discomfort that comes with entering a new territory? Probably both…
What comes to buying cookies, I believe I use the front seat for that. They are good with coffee (as has been known in the family for ages) and It’s good to have some stored in case for visitors, that stop by for coffee (more effective compared to baking the cookies myself, which I sometimes do for fun by the way).
Thanks again for the mind-puzzling podcast!