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In this episode of the Personality Hacker podcast, Joel and Antonia talk about how each personality type feels self-worth and self-value.
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In this podcast you’ll find:
- Check out our first episode in this series to get more context on this conversation.
- What is self worth, how is it different to self esteem, and how do these relate to self value?
- The benefits of diving into these concepts of the selves.
- How understanding your personality type affects your self worth.
- Why “worth” is a complex concept.
- Why are babies so valuable?
- Contrasting inherent and performative worth.
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How do you measure worth and value?
- Why the film “About a Boy” illustrates the distinction between the two.
- xxTP personality types – how does their desire for competence affect their self worth?
- How can you rest into your intrinsic worth and achieve value?
- Why type affects how we value ourselves and others.
- How this topic affects the way we show up to society.
- The important thing you should know – regardless of your personality type.
- How the two feeling functions measure worth.
- Why principles matter when it comes to self worth and self value.
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Listen Notes
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8 comments
One of the weirdest rabbit holes my INTP brain has stuck its ugly skull into lately is Reddit’s r/Obsessive_Love sub, where I am reading posts (mostly women) through the lens of this worth vs value frame.
It’s striking me how FJ, Fe the idea of “basing one’s entire worth on their partner” is. At least 1 member who posts there is confirmed ESFJ fwiw. Now I’m thinking how inferior Ti, in their case, is expressing this “need to pin one’s worth on one’s value” in this context with a fatalism of insecurity only the animus/anima can deliver. It’s so anathema to society’s conventional messaging (that obsession is unhealthy) and yet to the extent an Fe dom works best in the heroics of “getting needs met” it seems to me a bit of obsession is a likely emergent for Fe-dom individuals.
(I’ve seen more than one female ExFJ, ENFJ particularly, express what they deem for themselves a character flaw, of being clingy and obsessive to people they really like)
Incredible breakdown amazing insight. I believe i got to understand a thinkers brain and maybe more of a view point of. I am going to be honest. I think the way you are framing value and worth are very ideological they are based on your society i would say self-value would be how you feel your integrity. I also do not think that self-value exists. The man on castaway does not have self-value because he keeps himself alive. The way you talk about self-value to a lot of people it will be a burden to them as individuals. To me you described what value is not self-value value is always an outside projection it cant possibly be measured by yourself what you think your value is in these terms as you put it everybody else will most likely see it the same so i do not think the self is relevant with the value. I am aware that you will know more about this than me but i think its a another form of control this self-value described in this manner i am not saying deliberate i mean it grows social anxiety.
While we’re “getting philosophical,” and thinking about how to evaluate the worth / value / contribution of this episode on worth and value ;)
Antonia, when you said that the goal wasn’t necessarily to find an exact answer, but rather to get the listener to leave asking questions that could lead to their own greater self-awareness, it TOTALLY reminded me of Socrates!
You know how a lot of the Socratic dialogues, with Socrates in conversation with others trying to find a definition, end in “aporia” — open-endedness, without an answer. The other person often just gets frustrated and walks off. But according to Socrates, this is not a failure — this was the whole point. The other person might initially feel frustrated, but now they’re CURIOUS, their minds are active, they’re thinking — and THAT is AWESOME and the way to growth.
The distinction between worth and value also reminded me of a quote from Gretchen Rubin. I think she lists is as one of her Lessons of Adulthood. “Accept yourself, and expect more of yourself.” When I first encountered that years ago, when I did not have a strong sense of inherent self-worth and instead felt like I had to constantly achieve in order to earn my entitlement to exist, I really did not understand what that quote meant, or how that could be possible. How could I possibly accept myself as I am? If I know I have areas where I need to grow, or want to do better, and I expect more of myself, isn’t that the exact opposite of accepting myself?
I’ve done a lot of work, though, and now I get it! To accept myself feels like to have a sense of what you called worth — my inherent worth simply by virtue of being a human being. I am entitled to exist. And yes, at this point in the journey, it is awesome to be able sometimes to “rest into that,” as you said. And then, I can at the same time also expect more of myself — have expectations for my growth. This to me is what you called value. Am I living up to my own standards? Are my actions in alignment with my values? Are they things I want to do better?
Thanks again for all you do!!! :)