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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode, Joel and Antonia answer a listener question about growing in maturity at an exponential rate.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Podcast – self-awareness vs. self-development
  • The definition of maturity is subjective.
  • Maturity is classically defined as knowing how to behave appropriately in your environment or context.
  • When you get to about 25/26, the brain officially stops developing. After that we expect adults to act a certain way and we don’t have any more markers of achievement.
  • Some people’s growth and maturity may stop at 25. Others never stop.
  • Maturity is sometimes defined as taking full responsibility for yourself and everything within your domain.
  • One of the components of maturity is increased independence. Ability to self-reference.
  • Millennials have a lot of awareness, but they have a lot of collaborative frameworks.
  • There is a challenge Millennials have between being collaborative and being codependent.
  • If you know what your goal is it is a lot easier to get there faster. If your goal is independence and responding appropriately, there are ways to accelerate your maturation process.
  • Our minds are quicker and more nimble than our bodies. We can take in data faster than we can understand knowledge and wisdom. If you train your mind to go to knowledge and wisdom immediately, you can mature at an accelerated rate.
  • Immersive experiences will give you a quantum leap in wisdom and knowledge. Workshops, retreats, etc.
  • There is a sense of erosion that happens over time if it takes a lot of time to learn something. You lose information along the way. The slower process is not always the best process. Squeeze more info into a shorter period.
  • Concentrated implementation. Like studying a language versus moving to the country and immersing yourself in the language.
  • Putting self outside your comfort zone, as a rule, will accelerate growth and maturity.
  • Seek conflict. It moves us forward. Most of history is boiled down to major conflicts.
  • Fi conflict resolution is allowing self to feel whatever emotion is coming up and letting it express itself in whatever way it requires.
  • Ti conflict resolution is confronting whatever is causing cognitive dissonance.
  • Fe conflict resolution would be a literal conflict with people – facing the person causing the conflict.
  • Te conflict resolution would involve people resourcing and delegation.
  • “Ever tried. Ever Failed. No matter. Try again. Fail better.” –Samuel Beckett
  • DIKWU:
    • Data
    • Info
    • Knowledge
    • Wisdom
    • Understanding
  • Most of the time when someone has high awareness but little maturity it is because they have a lot of information. Data and info can trick you into thinking you are in the know. But maturity doesn’t come until you get to knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is applied information and wisdom is the discretion to know when to use it. Understanding is implementing the wisdom and knowing the outcome.
  • The faster you apply the data and information the faster you get to knowledge, wisdom and understanding.
  • All awareness is not created equal. Awareness for its own sake is meaningless.
  • Once you learn one framework or model, it is easier to apply it to new models and frameworks.
  • Systems thinking
  • Be specific about the outcome you want.
  • Hang out with people who are where you want to be.
  • The thing that helps people mature the fastest is ego work. Ego is the part of us that holds our identity and believes our death is the greatest tragedy. Regularly indulging the ego and its in-the-moment needs is the fastest way to immaturity.
  • The quickest way to be mature is to deny the ego its self-indulgent pursuits. Meditation. Psychotropics.

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  • Jason W
    • Jason W
    • October 19, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    Love the concept of Self Awareness vs. Maturity. Finding maturity to be a weakness of mine. I’ve been very self aware even as a child. At age 2, my mom would leave for work and I would put on her coat. I became the father to my mother, father, brother, and sister. I started running my dad’s business at age 14 for 6 year… The stories go on and on and to me in hind sight seems to be a destructive self awareness, because “I know” or “I get it” and was always told, “Hey maybe you should share your thinking rather than give advise you think you should be giving” /:^/, but always found myself offering something better and noone could take it. So it’s been interesting growing up and now that I am 32. The narrative has changed, “you have answer for everything!” lol. My approach is like “I don’t know, but I want to”, which has help a little bit more but still pushing rather than guiding. This content really hits home and gives me a holistic perspective a well rounded approach. Will have to listen to again and again. Thank you!!

  • Dana
    • Dana
    • October 14, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    “…hanging out with people who show up in mature ways.” Full stop.

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