If you are not familiar with Jungian cognitive functions, please reference “Personality Development Tools: The Car Model” to familiarize yourself with cognitive functions and how they influence personality type.

If you want support in figuring out your best fit type – we have professional profilers that can work with you to discover how your mind is wired.
Find out more about Personality Type Consultations here.

personalityhacker_between-two-typesIf you can’t figure out your personality type, it doesn’t matter which personality psychology system you’re using – you’re stuck. We all understand typology systems based on how we fit into them.

It’s incredibly frustrating to read two, three, four different type descriptions and know you’re ALMOST there.

For some people it becomes a Chinese finger puzzle that has to be solved, and they pour countless hours into reading type descriptions from what feels like a million websites and sources.

By the time I get an email, the people who write me have generally parsed their type down to two contenders in the Myers-Briggs system.

I’ve noticed that there are a couple of predictable patterns in the battle between The Final Two in Myers-Briggs. Understanding these patterns can help narrow down to your Best-Fit Type.

Your Best-Fit Type is the personality type you resonate with the strongest and which you have “self-typed.” A profiler can help guide you toward your Best-Fit Type, but it is ultimately YOU that determines your type. And while people can (and do!) latch onto a type that serves their biases, each individual gets to make the ‘final call’. After all, you’re the only person that dwells inside your head and knows the terrain better than anyone else.

A caution: Attaching to a type based on how you want to see yourself only limits personal growth. The most helpful quality to develop in self-typing is modesty, the ability to honestly assess what you’re great at as well as owning your limitations.

First, let’s talk about the most common Final Two (in my experience, based on email inquiries):

INTP vs INTJ

INFP vs INFJ

INTJ vs INFJ

ENTP vs ENFP

ENTJ vs ESTJ

ENFJ vs ESFJ

INTP vs ISTP

INFP vs ISFP

Notice that almost all of the inquiries are from people questioning which Intuitive type they are, or at least asking if they might be Intuitive.

While any and all of the 16 types can become interested in and even obsessed with the system, it’s generally Intuitives that take it Very. Seriously. The Myers-Briggs system offers Intuitives an explanation for that life-long feeling of being a ‘weirdo’ or ‘alien’, confirming what they suspected the whole time: they don’t think like the majority of people. Great relief also comes from understanding they’re not alone, and in fact up to 25% of the population has similar enough wiring to feel a sense of simpatico. For someone who feels like an outcast, this can be game changing information.

Both the INFJ/INFP and INTJ/INTP questions warrant their own attention, so I won’t be diving into them in this article. They also don’t follow the same ‘patterns of confusion’ as the other types. Confusion around INFJ/INFP and INTJ/INTP are more based on similarity of descriptions. That is, INFJs often resonate with descriptions of INFPs, and vice-versa. The same is true for INTJ/INTP.

This article will address confusion between these types:

INTJ vs INFJ

ENTP vs ENFP

ENTJ vs ESTJ

ENFJ vs ESFJ

INTP vs ISTP

INFP vs ISFP

One pattern to notice is that there is generally only one dichotomy letter that’s in confusion. They could also be written as:

INxJ – T or F?

ENxP – T or F?

ExTJ – N or S?

ExFJ – N or S?

IxTP – N or S?

IxFP – N or S?

So… what’s the connection? Where does the pattern emerge?

The answer lies in each personality type’s cognitive function ‘stack’. Each type isn’t about what you are, it’s about which cognitive functions you’re using. There are eight cognitive functions, and each personality type has four of those functions that influence them the most.

A cognitive function is a mental process we utilize to 1) learn new information and 2) make decisions based on that information. They are technically called judging functions and perceiving functions. Please don’t get them confused with personality types that are Judgers and types that are Perceivers in the Myers-Briggs system. While the same term is used in both ways – and while they are related – they refer to subtlety different aspects of type.

The technical way of referring to cognitive functions are Dominant, Auxiliary, Tertiary and Inferior.

For each type the Dominant process is their ‘go-to tool’ in their toolbox, and the mental process with which they most identify. The Auxiliary helps balance each type out by making up for anything the Dominant lacks. The Tertiary is the opposite of the Auxiliary, thus creating a ‘weakness’ that can trip the type up. The Inferior (the opposite of the Dominant) creates a real Blind Spot, arguably the weakest function of the type.

For many years, Personality Hacker has worked to simplify an understanding of cognitive functions using the metaphor of a car. Our terms are “Driver” (Dominant), “Co-Pilot” (Auxiliary), “10 Yr Old” (Tertiary) and “3 Yr Old” (Inferior).
personality-hacker_car-model-cognitive-stackThe four letters in your Myers-Briggs personality type are like a secret decoder ring to tell you what your cognitive function stack is, also known as “how your brain is wired.”

If you are an N (Intuitive), you may only have a surface understanding of how your brain is wired, because there are two types of Intuition – Extraverted Intuition and Introverted Intuition. (For a deeper dive into both types of Intuition, please refer to Personality Hacker podcast Introverted Intuition vs. Extraverted Intuition.)

The same holds true for S (Sensing) types, T (Thinker) types and F (Feeler) types. Each of these letters represents two different cognitive functions.

So, it’s not a question of “Am I a Thinker or a Feeler?” It’s a question of “Which Thinking and Feeling processes am I using, and in which order?”

It’s not what you are, it’s what you’re using.

This dials up the ‘complicated’, while at the same time creating a lot more clarity.

For those of you familiar with cognitive functions, the pattern that immediately jumps out is this: type confusion almost always dwells in the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old positions.

For example, when INxJs have confusion over whether or not they’re a T (Thinker) or F (Feeler), it’s because their Co-Pilot is either a thinking or feeling cognitive function, and so is the 10 Yr Old. Here’s a side-by-side look:

personalityhacker_intj-or-infj_graphic
If you notice, both types share a Driver and 3 Yr Old process. The same pattern holds true for ENTP/ENFP:

personalityhacker_entp-or-enfp_graphic

…AND for those who have confusion around ENTJ/ESTJ, ENFJ/ESFJ, INTP/ISTP, INFP/ISFP. For example:
personalityhacker_intp-or-istp_graphic2

It’s common to recognize certain attributes shared by the Driver process, and then weigh a ‘feeling of familiarity’ with the Co-Pilot and the 10 Yr Old processes, trying to figure out which is strongest.

Since many type profiles don’t include the cognitive functions, but rather overall descriptions of how the types generally ‘show up’ in the world, the individual is left looking for something they don’t even know exists: tie-breaker examples between the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old cognitive functions.

But if the 10 Yr Old is a weakness and in the “backseat” of the car (so to speak), why would a type resonate with it enough to have confusion?

There’s a great model that was introduced to me years ago called the “Competency Model.” It’s designed to explain the stages in which people build skill, but I’ve found it to be a great way to understand each type’s relationship with the functions “in the car.”

personalityhacker_competence-model

Matching it up with the car model, it looks like this:

personalityhacker_competence-and-car-model
If you match these two models up, both our Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old processes are in our ‘conscious awareness’, whereas our Driver and 3 Yr Old processes are unconscious – either due to muscle-memory style competence or blind-spot induced incompetence.

When a type profile hits us so hard we feel like someone stole a page out of our playbook it’s because we’re reading a description of our Driver process, something that’s so second nature to us it no longer has language. When someone puts language to what we are unconsciously competent at we feel like they’re reading our minds.

Similarly, when someone describes our 3 Yr Old process well we generally just get the heebie-jeebies. It’s ‘foreign’ and ‘icky’ and ‘not us at all’ (though it is ‘us’, just the part of ‘us’ we tend to bury deep in our unconscious).

But the Co-Pilot and 10 Yr Old processes are different. We’re VERY aware of them, because the yin-yang relationship they have is in our field of awareness. We’re ‘conscious’ of both of them and how they impact us, including how the polarity of these two functions impact us. If we’re a Thinker – but not Thinking Driver, Thinking Co-Pilot – we can conceivably test out as a Feeler because there IS a Feeling nature to us. Just a 10 Yr Old Feeling version.

In the same vein, if we’re an Intuitive – but not Intuitive Driver, Intuitive Co-Pilot – there will be a strong connection with the Sensory part of us, because it’s in our conscious awareness, and may have us testing out as a Sensor some of the time.

And here’s the kicker. If we’ve learned defensive strategies that keep us in the ‘attitude’ we prefer (as explained in this article), we may be more associated with our 10 Yr Old process than our Co-Pilot!

SO. If you’re down to a Final Two, the most helpful information will be 1) learning the cognitive function stack of both types, and 2) a strong description of each cognitive function.

Good luck!

-Antonia

p.s. Here’s a quick overview of each cognitive function and the cognitive function stack of each Myers-Briggs type.

If you want support in figuring out your best fit type – we have professional profilers that can work with you to discover how your mind is wired.
Find out more about Personality Type Consultations here.

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64 comments

  • Trisha
    • Trisha
    • June 12, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Well this surely made me feel like a freak of nature.
    I suspect myself of having a personality disorder.
    What I struggle with is INTJ/ISFP

  • dragons
    • dragons
    • April 9, 2019 at 1:28 pm

    I’m fairly certain I do not have any one single type. My Ti, Ne, Fe, Fi are high and others are low.
    I have been careful about considering whether i might have Fi that looks like Fe or the other way around and that is not the case. I do not have any defined sense of morality, but my feelings get hurt easily and I take on other people’s emotions very easily. For example, in middle school, I had no friends and no one who was talking to me, so when we were graduating, i was happy to move on and perhaps improve my reputation and make friends. At a graduation party though, I saw some of my classmates crying and being sad about never seeing each other again and I began to cry as well, knowing how they must be feeling.

    I do not feel like I have to do good in the world, yet I always end up taking the role of guiding the group towards harmony and trying to change people’s mood, when it’s too depressed or tense. These just happen without thinking about them. I resent the expectations of doing good in the world and I never considered myself as someone who does, but when I read the description of Fe then it describes many of the odd behaviors I have that I had no idea why I did.

    If I had to pick between Fi and Fe, I would have no idea which is stronger. When making decisions, I prioritize my own feelings above the feelings of others sometimes, but the other way around other times.

    Ti and Ne are even more certain. Since I was a child I was coming up with mathematical puzzles for myself to have fun with (i came up with the formula for all k combinations of n and i was like, omg 2^k, this is so beautiful, people will be so glad to know about this, but of course such a thing already existed and everyone knew about it, I just didn’t have textbooks). I also always had some idea or project that I was never finishing. I’m a big fan of fantasy, psychology, coming up with theories about psychology and logic.

    As a child, I might have fit the Debater(ENTP – Ne Ti Fe Si) profile, if not for my intense introvertism. My parents always complained about my debating. I did enjoy debating on the less popular side and changing people’s minds. That is not the case anymore though. Now I enjoy my own mind being changed.

    low Te – forgetting things (such as going to exams), being in general very absent-minded
    low Se – remembering details that never happened (maybe they happened in dreams) and not remembering things that happened.
    and i don’t really get Si and Ni. I know what they are, but I don’t have a clear perception of them. I get low scores for these on tests though.

    If I choose Fe over Fi just because it fits with Ne and Ti, then the truth of these cognitive functions having any meaning would be in question for me, because you could always say that ah, it must be on the other side of the e/i then, if something doesn’t fit with the established theory. Also, out of the general profiles/descriptions, both the profile of INTP and INFP fit me much better than ENTP.

  • Klara
    • Klara
    • March 26, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    I know it’s been a while since you posted but maybe you’ll still get to read this. Did you consider INTJ? What you said about being slightly lukewarm about Fe-related activities but being high in Fi sounds like you could be also high in Te and just not realizing it. INTJ stack is Ni Te Fi Se. Maybe your ‘slipping into Ti’ is more of ‘slipping into Te’? Your organized lifestyle could easily point to that. Te isn’t necessarily about forcing people to be anything. It’s more about systemizing (is that a word?) things.

    Anyways, I know the struggle of relating to a lot of functions and not knowing how to make heads or tails out of them. So this was just my two cents.

  • starlightsdestructor
    • starlightsdestructor
    • January 6, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    Same. I also INTJ but the way you said the perspective process is not quite me. I will say that my perspective going as a tree root, branching, and going deeper, it also connecting itself to things that I don’t know I knew. I can predict an accurate outcome based only from perspective. I don’t mind about morally wrong or harming others, as long as they had nothing to do with me. I only had same thing about the last thing you mentioned as postponing a project until the last minute, because I see the way I can complete it in short days (once I was able to learn a whole 4 months college lesson for the requirement to pass, in 3 days, because I don’t understand the teacher the whole time and instead learning by myself), need a deathly challenge, or I just plainly not interested in it. Also I seem to sense no Te in your talk, that of course the INTJ way of talking.

    The unfortunate thing about it is, I had a friend which is INFP, and strangely your way of explaining yourself is almost the same as his. Example of INFJ I know is my sister. She is very dilligent by nature and will not letting stress and mood take her down from completing her homework. She also very structured but also very emotional, and curious, better than INTJ in that mundane work part. She like doing arts and anything that connected to humanity, psychology, and deep things. I guess if you are INDEED J type, then you are much closer to INFJ than INTJ. Yours should be between INFJ and INFP. Did you appear more casual and mismatched, a bit aloof and distanced even with close friends(INFP), or more fashionable, seems like an Extrovert with close friends, and even can blend as Extrovert for bypassers(INFJ)?

  • Allison
    • Allison
    • December 5, 2018 at 9:23 pm

    I come up as INFJ and INFP almost equally (on your assessment I was an INFJ, for the what it’s worth) and I think it’s because, on assessments that measure each cognitive function out as a percentage, my Ni and Fi are neck and neck and both very high (85%+), and Fe is always way out there even past Ne and Ti. So Fe feels like the “sticky” point in fully committing to INFJ because the other 3 passengers in your car model ring true.

    I know my Se is weak/neglected/the blind spot (the 3 year old), I can drop very comfortably into Ti if need be (the 10 year old)…but that Fe… Of course I don’t want to be needlessly unkind or unhelpful or malicious to anyone or make their lives difficult, but neither do I feel this overwhelming sense of needing to bend over backward or throw myself under the bus to please someone of “for the group” (in fact I can feel quite resentful when this feels like how i “ought” to be). Of course I want “the group” to get along, but if they don’t, I wouldn’t feel it’s somehow my responsibility to make that happen. I can offer ideas or suggestions (if solicited), but at the end of the day, it isn’t my mantle to take up. So I don’t know if that means I’ve just developed (or not) my Fe, or if I capitulate too much to Ti, or what.

    I have experienced with regularity the “psychic” (and psychic garbage) perceptions often attributed to INFJs, and I often don’t share those with people for the same reasons as typically stated (“that’s crazy” “where’s your proof” “how do you know” “that’s made up”). When it feels like no one will listen or “get it,” you tend to just not bother explaining things after a certain point. BUT I feel like my Ti also won’t allow me to buy into some of the “woo woo” explanations or interests/activities that commonly get attached to INFJs either.

    As for the INFP diagnosis, I am very in touch with Fi, with “who I am” and “what I’m about” and “how I feel about xyz.” I do often feel that I “mirror” rather than “absorb” the emotions of others and am able to maintain a certain distance from outside feelings, provided they aren’t directed AT me in an aggressive or antagonistic manner.
    Likewise, Ne also scores highly for me. Inside my head is very webby and I’m always bouncing from this to that to the other idea or connection. Boredom is a rarity; there is always SOMETHING interesting to think or daydream about. My memory is also REALLY good, so Si in my 10 year old seat doesn’t feel far-fetched at all. And my Te is almost, if not as or more terrible than my Se. Both are quite weak, and I tend to have a very strong distaste for impersonal external “metrics” (à la Te), and anything that tries to force people to do or be what maybe they are not.

    Problem points with INFP: they are often described as disorganized or scatterbrained or all over the place, which I don’t necessarily identify with; I have all kinds of organization systems for the things that matter to me, or that keep my life simpler. I do struggle deeply with turning daydreams or ideas into action though.

    So yeah, TL;DR, my order truly looks more like this: Ni/Fi (so close), Ne, Ti, Fe, Si, Te, Se…whatever type that would be.

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