6 Personality Fixations In ExxJ Relationships | Podcast 587

2 comments

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  • Ian
  • May 7, 2025 at 1:34 am

  Hi and thanks for yet another powerful podcast. I am an ENFJ married to ISTJ for 46 years. I have often reflected that we are like are like a Polish person married to a Japanese person! Constantly misunderstanding each other and assuming motives. We have got better at recognising our differences which helps alot with mutual respect..but doesnt change the need for constant translation still after 46 years. I never saw how much I do apply management thinking to my marriage. Even as I listened to the podcaste..I’m thinking ’ how yes I will set up a conversation to work this topic through so we can get to the outcome of a better marriage’ aaargghhh..The funny thing is I always thought my wife was the controlling ISTJ always with an opinion about how things I do could have been done better. (er and sometime she was) But I remember about 30 years ago she wrote on my to do list (paper back then) another task..“Be spontaneous”. and the other day she said ‘youve always got to have rules’…and I muttered ‘no thats you’…but the more I reflect on this I can see it is true. The sad part is that my overplay of this management thing..in my case all about managing conversations and relationship dynamics, forever the facilitator, I have lost the sponeteity I think I had when I was younger. This no doubt accounts for many years of feeling a lack of connection. It so hard sometime to see your own role in creating your own winters of discontent. Thanks again Ian

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  • Kim
  • May 6, 2025 at 10:28 am

  I’m married to an ExxJ he handles the finances since I don’t like doing that all the things you mentioned I see in my husband in their minds they think they have your best interest at heart but I see it as controlling and nit picking but we’re married for better and for worse . Good podcast ! . Kim