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According to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs) personality system, Joel is a feeler male and Antonia is a thinker female. In this podcast they talk about what it’s like to be a personality type that goes against the grain of popular culture.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- This podcast episode will talk about Male – Female dynamics and personality types, focusing Feeler Males and Thinker Females.
- Even if a man and woman are the same personality, regardless of the typology system used, there will be differences.
- Thinker VS Feeler
- Thinker – is someone who basically makes decision based in metrics and criteria takin into account. Does it make sense analytically? Will it work?
- Feeler – makes decisions based on how it will impact other people. How are people going to be impacted? How is it going to impact the family?
- All thinkers feel and all feelers think.
- It is assumed that women will be feelers and men thinkers
- 75% of females are feelers. They have a higher emotional intelligence.
- There are people that don’t necessarily fit on the cultural definition of masculinity and femininity. Separate yourself from your personality type from femininity and masculinity. Being able to do this means that you can fully embrace your authentic nature.
- Your femininity is not defined by making decisions.
- In today’s generation, we’re starting to see couples go together to the next stage of their lives.
- Men have a lot of support of how masculinity is defined, as someone who’s taking care of his children and many more.
Exercise we recommend in this podcast:
- Are you a feeler male or a thinker female? What has been your experience as non-stereotype? Where have you not fit into whatever cultural type you live in and what has been your experience? What are the tools you’re using to accept your authentic self? We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below.
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13 comments
I’m an INTP female. Interestingly enough I went to school with a fair few INTJs and ENTJs (my best friend is an INTJ, also female) and have an INTJ father, so I only realised that I was a bit different when I went to university and started dating. I’m able to “pass” to some extent – I like animals, wear skirts (for comfort) and don’t talk much, so people who don’t know me well tend to think I’m soft/shy. This tends to work in my favour mostly with women. Men are better at dealing with the sarcasm. Work is fine – I was somewhat abrasive when younger, but have since learnt to criticise in a more tactful (passive aggressive?) manner. Fortunately I picked a field where precision is valued.
Dating is hard, however. Generally I just seem not to be on the radar, or men will expect me to play along with social conventions (letting them do the asking, pay, get doors, etc.) – I’m far too much of a control freak for that. I am happy to initiate and in fact that is my test of whether I like someone enough. I tend to make it known fairly early on that the other party will have to make their feelings quite clear to me because I am not the best at reading social cues. I also emphasise that dating should be a mutually exclusive interaction; I don’t want to waste anyone’s time! I will let the man know if I don’t think I’m getting anything out of it, and I expect him to do the same. I don’t know why this makes me “difficult” (seems like common sense), but it apparently does! An ex (also INTP) described me as variously as “cold”, “metallic” and “a brick” (you can imagine that we did not part on the best of terms). I found it rather ironic because he knew from work that I was an INTP and that we were very similar, but he expected me to behave differently in the relationship because I was a woman.
Thank you for the podcast and comments! ENTP woman here with a very developed Fe due to cultural conditioning. Even though my well-developed Fe has helped me to keep good relations with most people, I feel like I have not really been true to myself, hiding my Ti and not bringing my true strengths to the table until just recently. I Am highly intuitive and innerly extremely logical system thinker, whether it be analyzing people, organisational or data systems. I make connections in my surroundings with a very high speed and tend to question authority, gladly my Ti-Fe has mostly helped me to pick the right “fights” (but not always;). I have also been through different stages of discovering femininity as a thinking woman. It started out trying to fit into the SF femininity style, which obviously didn’t work, then the phase of femininity as an inner goddess inside of you and now the process of being feminine as being true to my thinking preference, still at the same time trying to bring out the feminine side of the creativity and imagination typical to ENTPs, also the balanced liveliness and wisdom that well-developed ENTPs can posess……..but I believe there are plenty of more facets to my peronality to be unfolded;)also on the femininity side…….I am on an awesome journey……!!!:)
I’m in ENTJ woman (Commander, Field Marshall) in love with an INFJ guy (Protector, Advocate).
I completely lucked out. I’m confident, extroverted, data driven, analytical, perfectionistic, and highly successful in my career, but he’s been even more successful. He sees me as cute and adorable even though no other men do. He’ll follow my lead — and he gets a kick out of it — he’s completely comfortable in his masculinity. And yes, sometimes he tells sweetly tells me I’m making the wrong decision. He’s usually right.
As Sarah Turco above pointed out, I too have noticed that women are expected to have Harmony as their primary driver in communication, so being an INTP who leads with Accuracy confuses the hell out of people. It makes most of my women coworkers see me as a suspicious outsider, and leads me only to befriend women with xNTP or xNFP types.
A lot of men are attracted to me (and it doesn’t hurt that I keep up my athletic build and that I enjoy dressing stylishly), but begin to have a “something’s very odd here” sensation when they realize how much I need them to be explicit about what they feel. One former boyfriend was attracted to my strength and unshakeable composure, but broke up with me when his mother characterized me as “cold” and he realized that’s what he felt about me too.
Male coworkers usually find me very agreeable. I’ve even been described as “warm and sensitive” — by other software engineers who are male. But that’s definitely a minority report. :)
I’m an INFP female, and something I’ve noticed is that society not only expects women to be feelers, they expect women to use extroverted feeling (harmony) specifically as either their driver or co-pilot process. I know an ENTP and an ENFP who have each pattern recognized this trend as well and we’ve talked about it. We’ve noticed, for example, that even though my ENFP friend and I use introverted feeling (authenticity), we simply don’t know how to comfort people who are in distress. We might feel more sympathy toward someone who is upset than a thinker might, but we just have no idea what to say to that person to make them feel better. I’ve been called selfish for my inability to use this skill of consoling other people and meeting their emotional needs. This ability seems to come more naturally to the people I know (specifically other women) who use harmony.