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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about transitions when you are on your personal development journey.

In this podcast on growth and transitions you’ll find:

  • Transition usually comes from the pain that forces you to make a change.
  • When people are stuck at a particular development level, they question themselves “How do I transition to the life that I want to be living?”
  • Transition is often destructive and causes pain. There is letting go of old skills and knowledge learned no matter how hard you put up with it to give way to learn new things.
  • In the old world, a level of safety and security has been established but during transition we are entering a world of complete unknown as we free float to the next level.
  • This becomes a less frightening experience once you trust yourself and the process. Let go and be open to being suspended. Have faith that everything’s going to be alright. Soon enough you will land into something unexpected and awesome.
  • There are two parts of transition:
  1. The Level of awareness that transition is needed
  2. The Decision Point
  • There is a lot to give up during transition. Most importantly, identity is lost. We have already been defined by our old life and letting go of that leads to not knowing ourselves anymore. It gives a feeling of death to one’s self. There is ego death.
  • As we let go, we destroy and recreate that old identity, we become a new version of ourselves. Still the same creature but not the same incarnation.
  • People usually see life in two ways:
  1. Life as a problem to solve
  2. Life as a game to be optimized
  • People who see life as a game to be optimized are more comfortable and are willing to let go which makes transition easier.
  • Build a certain amount of skills and carry it with you to help you through a new transition.
  • Find something or someone that brings you comfort and faith that everything will be alright but remember that you’re the only one that can make that choice to enter transition.

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  • Lisa
    • Lisa
    • April 3, 2016 at 4:05 am

    Wow! This was Amazing! I have been hanging, swinging back and forth… and Terrified to let go! It is time. Thank you for Finally giving me some understanding! I truly thought I had lost my mind… However, I now have peace. You two are Wonderful! With deepest gratitude….Thank you.

  • Len
    • Len
    • December 17, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    Thank you very much for this discussion. I am really having a major transition now in my life. Your insights are so helpful for my personal growth. I had been following you on youtube and here. Thanks again.

  • Julie
    • Julie
    • November 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    Great podcast! I really resonated with the “then I’ll be done” part. When I first got into personal growth several years ago I’d come across a program that described its results and I’d be like, YES, that’s what I need! Then everything will be good! And of course it wasn’t; something else would always come up. So for a long time it was really frustrating. It took me a while, and quite a lot of whining, to realize that that’s how it is, and that transitions, major or minor, are continually presented to us throughout life for us to choose for ourselves.

    Once I accepted this, my journey has been much more positive. Not looking to be “done” with anything except the current phase I’m in lets me feel my way to what’s right for me, and know with confidence that each transition brings me closer to myself. :-)

  • Andrea
    • Andrea
    • November 26, 2014 at 3:53 pm


    the “little death” of orgasm…this image kept coming up for me as you described letting go and falling

    Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration (hard to find explanations in layman’s terms, but I think it would help give you vocabulary/clearer conceptualization for some of the concepts you’re describing here)

    You got the caterpillar science right. Also, to add dimension to the metaphor, the butterfly is capable of not just flight but also reproduction. New relationships and legacy become possible. The caterpillar goes from eating so much that it can no longer be contained in its current form, to building a safe place to turn to mush, dissolving to mush while the genetic material redirects the new structure (it’s still completely the same creature; just transformed), and then emerging to fly and find partnership.

    Learning as an antidote to fear and a catalyst to not looking back; I do this too.

    Building skill enables transition. I am working here, and the concept resonates as true.

    This podcast was important to me. I’m in the midst of a career change that requires me to look at myself quite differently than I used to, and I have no idea where it’s going. I am ready for the adventure to begin. Not sure what all will be turned to ash, but ready for the fire and holding space for the phoenix. Thank you, Antonia and Joel, for marking the trails as best as you can.

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