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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about power vs empowerment, the power couple, gender roles, and why men might fear being objectified.
In this podcast on the power couple you’ll find:
- Most men spend so much time focusing on standards of female beauty but do nothing to improve their own physical attractiveness.
- Men are used to being objectified as providers but are terrified to be objectified by their looks; that they have to look attractive to attract women.
- There is a shift in viewpoint which developed overtime that women don’t need men as a provider but a lifestyle and romantic companion instead.
- Collective unconscious in genetic memory implies that women have always been victims of exploitation. Some are even still looking for ways to prove that they are victimized by men. There is a sense of retribution in women to want men to experience their hardships.
- Mentality creates reality. We can create or influence others to become predators by insisting that they are bad. This way, we are neglecting them and stopping them from having a connection with us.
- Once the honeymoon phase in a relationship (which lasts one to two years) ends, the power struggle phase comes in and makes or breaks a relationship.
- Both genders nowadays have almost equal opportunities open for them leading us to a current position of a gender power struggle. It creates a situation where one is forced to lose so that only one can have power; there can’t be shared power.
- Power is about hierarchy structure where one is in authority and the rest are subordinates while empowerment is about personal power which can be achieved by everyone.
- What is a power couple? A Power Couple is created when two people with equal skills and talents both give space for one another to be fully empowered making them unstoppable in doing extraordinary things.
- There is currently an unprecedented level of competition wherein when one is able to provide something others can’t, it makes that person more attractive than most. In this sense, self-empowerment needs to be focused on by everyone regardless of gender.
- Attraction is not a choice. Being the best version of ourselves is the best initial attractor.
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11 comments
Thanks for the comment, Babs! I admit – I’m always a little worried how I’ll come across when I talk about not being suspicious of men. So many women have been on the receiving end of terrible treatment it seems almost traitorous to appear supportive of ‘the other sex’. I really do believe it’s the way to create win/wins and prevent more violence.
Love you. :)
A
This is awesome that you are talking about these issues!
I was part of the original wave of feminism. In college in the early 70s I had a class entitled Women in Literature. It was a cleverly-disguised exploration of all the ways we were being enslaved as females. My class project featured a slide show about messages for women in the media. The opening slide was an ad with the headline, “The Dirty Dust Mop Wins.”
What a life-changer that new perspective was – I immediately alienated my mother on the subject, who told me that she enjoyed housework. It was a time of frustration and venting, which can be cathartic, or at least transformational. But what I wish it hadn’t done was to plant the seeds of “you men have been my captors, now you are my enemy” thoughts.
Unfortunately, once you wake up and see your prison, it can be offensive.
And I continued to be offended by it and a victim of it, only to be set free to the degree that I increasingly claimed my own power in life – and embraced my personal empowerment!
Point well taken, Antonia, that our expectation of how we’ll be treated (“Is he gonna rape me, if he sees I’m afraid will he try harder, if I run will he chase me?”) can influence how we end up being treated.
As one of the lucky ones who got a potential rapist to “just say no” due to screaming and making a fuss – in short, refusing to allow it – I can say that at least some of that is up to us as women.
Yet as a victim of sexual and emotional abuse in my first marriage, I can also say that – at least for my generation – programming is powerful, and finding our inner strength to stand and face any form of tyranny can be hard to come by when the enemy is right in our own camp.
As each of us stands against, or in some cases walks away from, the evil unfairness of sexual tyranny, we strengthen the world for all of us. I live for the day when we can make enough progress so that the 16 MILLION people on our beautiful planet who suffer under the oppression of human slavery can be free.
We can’t find them, they are so well hidden in a house next door to us that no one ever notices. The only way to root them out and put an end to this is from within their captor’s hearts.
So in that case, naming and claiming sides in a battle of the sexes isn’t really what we’re looking for, is it?
That’s why I love this personality stuff so much, especially for couples – it teaches us how to LOVE our differences!
And even better, to combine them in the divine purpose for which they were intended.
When we do that, we can meet our wonderful life partner eye-to-eye, and release that joyous dynamic that can only happen in the world when a special chemistry prevails between two people: loving collaboration.
The power couple connection is the evolutionary energy that is saving the world!
And you, Antonia and Joel, are an awesome example of it. Seeing how you two work together is completely inspiring.
Thanks for another great podcast!
I agree. I think that’s why the previous podcast on psychological generosity should also be implemented. Truly trying to understand where the ‘other’ is coming from (no matter who they are) is an important part of empowering oneself and others.
Thanks for the comment. :)
A
I love my modern marriage. My husband (INFP) is just as involved with the kids and housework as I (ENFJ) am. Though he works he considers the money I save through money saving techniques to be of equal value. It baffles some of the older generation, but some women really envy the arrangement. We both see each other’s perspectives and values, so we approach life as a challenge we divide by skill and not gender.
Your take on the gender and group wars is awesome. I like the idea of leaving space at the table. However, I think that in today’s world of false ‘hate’ and false ‘acceptance’ that simply leaving space could be seen as deceptive. Metaphorically speaking that is. I think we can easily think we are “leaving space” for someone or something until they sit at the table and we have to live the metaphor. Actually engaging or tolerating or trying to understand someone who may stand at the oppossing side of the spectrum requires so much more than lip service. It is something I find myself faced with and the growth of having someone at the table that I wouldn’t normally desire there has been extremely rewarding.
Great Podcast!
Adrianna. Thank you for sharing here. I wish more people would think like you… and then I remember that you are helping sway the world toward this better way of seeing things.