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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about the principle of “what we resist persists” and how to stop resisting those things in our lives that can help us change for the better.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- You may know someone – a friend or a family member who resists positive concepts or actions that can greatly benefit them.
- They may be very resistant to the idea that there are lifestyle changes that might result in a positive impact to their overall health. The question is, why is the case?
- What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.
- The reason why we resist is mostly because of an awareness issue. We choose not to see the piece because by looking at the piece and not acting upon it seem senseless.
- When we resist something, most of the time, we don’t resist the actual “action” but rather the subject or conversation that we think we don’t have the resources to handle.
- The resistance itself adds more injury to the current situation like cancer cells that metastasizes to the other tissues and organs of the body.
- When you don’t address the problem, it grows.
- It’s a matter of identifying what you’re actually avoiding, what’s your cognitive dissonance? What are you avoiding that’s growing? A lot of times the external world will tell you what the conflict is.
- Look at your external markers, where in your life are you experiencing pain?
- There a fine correlation between what you’re insecure about and what you’re resisting.
- If we see the insecurities we have, we are also able to identify the issues that we have deep inside our heart and minds.
- In order to prevent these inner issues from growing and become the thing that takes you out early, you have to concede and surrender to it.
- Accept the possibility of worst case scenarios. (The worst case scenario is usually not that bad than that we have in mind). You will feel doing this will let you take charge with your life and help you give the best you can.
- Are you resisting things in your life? Have you come through some big scale-up moments where you didn’t resist anymore? Let us know in the comments section below.
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4 comments
Hi Antonia and Joel
I think this is going to be a long comment as I have a few things to share.
I heard you mention landmark education a few podcasts back. I am a Landmark Graduate and I can tell you that a lot of concepts you talk about r the same as from Landmark Education. concepts like wax on wax off, this particular podcast, integrity, the empowerment dynamic are few of the distinction that Landmark focuses on and assists their participants in practicing them in their lives. Though your podcast are giving me the basis from which Landmark uses these distinctions.
Also, on a humorous note, Antonia’s bit on death reminded me of a conversation I had with a psychiatrist friend. We were talking about fear of death and I told him, “i don’t fear death, its inevitable so why waste mental space on it. But on the other had, i do fear dying.” Yes, death is inevitable but i am really scared of the pain that the body goes through before dying. I just don’t want to experience it. I really hope, when it’s my time, i have access to some really good drugs (medical), so that I don’t realise the pain.
The other point I wanted to share was specifically about body dismorphia. I was always a plump baby and I still as a pulmp person (i avoid the word fat because it has such negative connotation). I inherit my body type from my mom. She dealt with a lot of people un her life who teased her about her weight and has struggled with it all her life to lose weight. She passed on her dismorphia to me at a very young age. I struggled with it all through my childhood and teen years. Especially since my sister was tall and slim and i am petite and curvy. Somewhere during my early twenties i had a breakthrough, and i am very comfortable with my body now and consider myself sexy (and i really don’t care if anyone else considers me sexy or not). My sister is going through her menopause now and has suddenly gained a lot of weight and absolutely hates herself for it. I am so grateful that i went through all that way early in my life that eventhough i am overweight right now according to BMI, psychologically l am so ok with myself.
Lastly, I wanted to share a story that lead me to my break through. A tsar was visiting his kingdom when he came across a little girl crying. When asked why she was crying the little girl said that she couldn’t find her mommy. So the tsar asked her how her mommy looked and she said " my mommy is the most beautiful woman in the kingdom." So the tsar lined up all the beautiful women in the kingdom to find the little girl’s mother. The little girl rejected everyone of them saying they weren’t her mommy. Just when the Tsar was at his wits end, a peasant women came running through the crowd and picked the little girl. The woman was wearing rags, had calloused hands, limp hair and missing teeth. The girl hugged the woman and cried. Then she turned to the tsar said, “see, this is my mommy. Didn’t i tell you, she is the most beautiful woman in the kingdom”.
The story made me realise that people who love me will find me beautiful. By extension, if i loved myself i would find me beautiful. Its something i live by everytime i see myself in the mirror.
Sorry for the long comment, but just wanted to share this with you.
Thanks and Regards
Anuradha N S
I wonder if your friend was badgered about it to the point of anger. From a parent or someone close and basically saying I’m not gonna be there again thinking of you as being condescending and they feel you cannot tell then because they solved the problem themselves with the surgery maybe they just worried about the weight.
Wulfex – I sent you an email.
Hey Joel and Antonia,
It’s funny the timing of these podcast. The topics that come up seem to come up when I’m going through some of it myself.
Over the past… 6 years, I’ve dealt with depression. From high school, to college and now in my career. In college, it had gotten to a point where I was finding rooms just to go and cry for an hour or two. Eventually, I had decided to do something about it, so I had decided to talk to my “Student Adviser”. My words fell on deaf ears, no one offered to help me so I just assumed that I was unable to be helped, I’m not in a bad enough place to be helped or that I was unworthy. So I gave up.
Now, I’m having schizophrenic episodes now, I have a hard time figuring out what reality is or if there even is one. My best friend, whom unfortunately lives in another state, kept telling me I need help. I started believing that suicide was a viable option and people were just telling me it was wrong to keep me from something better.
I tried looking for help, again, and found nothing. I don’t know where to start, there’s no information anywhere about how to get help, so again I fell into the believe that I was unable to be helped.
Interestingly enough, a recent Slipknot concert I went to made me realize a lot of things. 1) there are hundreds of people around the world who feel the things I do and relate it to music. 2) Everyone has some darkness. I’ve been embracing the darkness, the suicidal thoughts, the hate for humanity, etc. and I’ve found I feel better. Like it’s turned into a sort of motivation for me. Anyway, I’m still looking for help. I feel like this is related because I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not the only person in a similar situation who is “broken”. Rather than pretending I’m okay, I’ve been accepting that I’m not 100% healthy and that’s okay.
Hopefully, I find some help soon. I just wish health insurance was easier to deal with in this country.