Podcast - Episode 0083 - Are Gurus Dangerous To Follow?

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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about working with gurus for personal growth and how to prevent a co-dependent relationship with them.

In this podcast you’ll find:

• Last week, went to a convention called “Inbound”.
• Reconnected with a friend whose life has massively changed. Last time was fully invested in Graves 5.
• She has massively graduated to Grave 6.
• Grave 5 is more in achievement. Grave 6 is on self-reflection and personal development. The reason why she moved to Grave 6 is because she needed some internalization in order figure out what she should do.
• She met a guru who helped her grow and be happy.
• She recently had a falling out with the Guru.
• Eventually she decided to stop seeing the Guru.
• Think of “Gurus” as mentorship or coaching.
• This person may have helped you improve your life or motivated you to remove an unwanted habit.
• A guru is somebody who helps you initiate, someone who will help you get a high quality of life
• The question is, does a Guru help in your enlightenment?
• The concept of Gurus has been integrated with marketing and business,
• A guru is not necessarily someone who has arrived. Gurus also face a transformative period in their lives.
• Don’t over attach to someone (or something) that has helped you transform.
• There’s a period in life that it’s useful and you’re eventually going to evolve and feel like you no longer need the mentorship anymore (post-Guru time)
• Gurus are like living models. These models are helpful to map out our lives and where we go next. Gurus act the same way as guides.
• Steven Covey’s dependence model:
  • Dependence – fully reliant; Overvaluing an existing model and being fully dependent on it.
  • Independence – fully detached; Rejection of the model/guru.
  • Interdependence – The realization that the tool can be very helpful at times but not to point of getting too attached to it.
• Shifting from the dependence to interdependence state is the most challenging phase. This is where co-dependency happens.
• Realize that nobody’s really arrived. Since we live in a world where there are a lot of challenges, our personal development also experiences these challenges. On the other hand, even if Gurus may face some challenges, it doesn’t have to mean that strategies are poor or ineffective.
• For you to be in a codependent phase is a choice you’re making. Remember that you have the power to opt out or move beyond that. You’re the creator of your world and you seek different coaches in different times of your life.
• Some may not acknowledge the presence of “Gurus”.
• Gurus help us have safe passage in the desired path that we’re headed where initiation or transformation happens.
• If you are a guru, it’s the empowerment that you bring to the table.
• It’s not holding tightly to anything, it’s holding loosely to things and checking to see what’s working and what’s not working.
• You are a unique you. We all experience life in a different way.
• When someone creates friction for you because they don’t like to see you growing, don’t fret. The friction in itself is part of the lesson.
• Finding models and gurus and learning/attaching with them for a while will bring loads of valuable learning experiences that will help you in your personal development.
• There’s no issue with consulting with a Guru. The problem happens when you can’t let go of yourself and allow yourself to graduate to the next level.

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