Podcast - Episode 0086 - ENFP Personality Type Advice

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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type.

In this podcast on the ENFP personality type you’ll find:

• ENFP
• Sometimes ENFPs don’t know what the right decision is until after they make the decision.
• ENFP Survey
• ENFPs struggle with decision-making.
• Clarity comes after they are in action and it feels so inefficient to them.
• Janus-like quality: walking contradictions
• Joel is an ENFP
• ENFPs can go down the road of allowing their emotions to run the show.
• Or they get the message that their emotions can’t be trusted, so they lock down those emotions and ignore their gut.
• Over-emotional vs. over-thinking: same root and the same solution
• ENFPs will commit to something (roles, relationships, images, projects, jobs) then realize it isn’t right for them and they may have to hurt someone to extract themselves.
• This is why they get the reputation of being flighty because they are afraid to commit out of fear of making the wrong decision.
• Behavior is an emergent of how your mind is wired.
• Car Model
• The Driver of an ENFP is Extraverted Intuition (Ne). We’ve nicknamed it “Exploration.”
• Ne is a learning process
• It is all about messing with the external environment to see patterns emerge.
• Speculative conclusions based on patterns it sees.
• Behind the curtain thinking
• Ne vs Ni podcast
• ENFPs get so good at pattern recognition they see things the average person does not see.
• Ne is very optimistic. Always looking for possibilities and potential.
• Too many possibilities.
• ENFPs copilot is Introverted Feeling (Fi) – “Authenticity.”
• Authenticity is about doing what feels in alignment
• What are the nuances of what I am feeling?
• What is ethical for me?
• ENFPs make their best decisions by using Authenticity
• Behind Authenticity is the 10 yr old Extraverted Thinking (Te) – “Effectiveness”
• What works? What gets the job done?
• Authenticity requires embodiment before it knows what it wants, so it is easier to skip Authenticity and go to the tertiary to “get the job done.”
• Effectiveness can lead to a lot of decisions that the ENFP doesn’t want to make but will make to be more expeditious or considerate of others.
• Te tertiary is about getting into action.
• Te short circuits the energetic wastefulness of Fi.
• Society is impatient. It doesn’t want to wait for the ENFP to find clarity.
• When the ENFP makes too many quick decisions, they end up committing to something that isn’t right for them.
• If one of their values is commitment, they won’t go back on their decision. They sit in misery to honor their commitment.
• Or they commit to nothing out of fear of being trapped
• Behind the driver is the inferior function (3 yr old) Introverted Sensing – “Memory.”
• Memory is about precedence. Status quo.
• Memory is a blind spot for ENFPs and can hijack their life
• When they feel stuck, without options, depressed, trapped – it is a sign the ENFP is in that memory process.
• It can feel like life is being choked out of them, and it is never going to get better.
• Can show up in times of illness.
• ENFPs are already so aware of their body interactions due to Introverted Feeling that illness can seem overwhelming.
• Acknowledge that you aren’t stuck. It isn’t real. It is just a story. Time to get back into your Driver of Extraverted Intuition.
• Introverted Feeling is the solution to a lot of these problems.
• ENFPs need to slow waaaaay down.
• ENFPs are accustomed to moving fast, but they have to approach decisions from a very slow, internal viewpoint.
• Recognize that Authenticity can be fickle.
• Keep context in a way that supports Introverted Feeling.
• The fussy artist lives in Fi – if the conditions aren’t right the Fi can’t get something done, but the ENFP wants to get something done due to their tertiary Te, so they jump into action.
• Allow yourself to be fussy
• For an ENFP their highest leverage point is what they are saying NO to.
• That way they aren’t overwhelmed by the things they have committed but aren’t right for them.
• Opportunities may pass you by. That’s okay.
• You begin to realize that a lot of opportunities you were chasing weren’t in alignment anyway.
• You surround yourself with satisfying relationships and opportunities.
• Every personality type gives something to the social ecosystem that no other type can provide.
• ENFPs bring embodiment: they have to embody something fully to grasp it and bring it to others.
• Like a tuning fork sending out vibrations to others to make others feel optimistic.
• ENFPs see others at their best.
• People seek out ENFPs because they love how they feel around them.
• Michael Moore is an ENFP who performs the things he is convicted about.
• ENFPs love being coaches, directors, performers, etc.
• Another challenge ENFPs have is the tendency to attract emotional or social leeches.
• The ENFP may start to learn that they can’t stay present with people or someone will trap them into a vortex of social leeches.
• Lots of reasons why people perceive ENFPs as flighty – they avoid going deep with people.
• Infrastructure stacks over time and they don’t realize they are overwhelmed until it happens and they break down.
• Why are you keeping your commitment? Is this a value of yours? Or are you afraid of upsetting someone?
• ENFPs need to permit themselves to change plans if necessary.
• The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron
• ENFPs find themselves surrounded by Crazymakers.
• Fi can find any emotion in their heart or mind so if they encounter someone who is emotionally struggling the ENFP can experience what it is like being that person, so they have a lot of sympathy for them.
• If an ENFP can find any emotion in their heart, they can find any motivation in their heart, and they are aware of the dark places we all carry within us.
• Emotions are the seat of motivation and emotions are powerful for ENFPs.
• ENFPs try to avoid the wrong emotions.
• The dragon’s job is to guard the gold.
• Being able to understand the human experience and sympathize with people in their darkest space is on the other side of facing those dragons.
• An insecurity ENFPs expressed in the survey is the sense that they are the dumbest person in the room.
• ENFPs are brilliant and highly intuitive, but articulation can be a challenge.
• “I feel strongly about this; I’m not sure why but I think the awareness will come later.”
• It feels empowering to do this because it buys the necessary time for Fi to do its job.
• Trusting your gut is the first challenge before anyone else can trust it.
• Emotion is deep
• Feelings are temporary
• Determine the difference when you are feeling it.
• Understand that everything you do is chasing an emotion in the hopes of gaining the necessary motivation.
• What emotion do you want to feel?
• It isn’t about doing. It is about being and feeling.
• What emotion is most essential for you right now? Excitement? Empowerment? Romance?
• Make a list of how you can feel the desired emotion.
• If you are in the middle of a fight stop to ask yourself, “What emotion do I want to feel right now?” you will begin to access emotions you want on command.

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