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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type.

In this podcast on the ENFP personality type you’ll find:

  • ENFP
  • Sometimes ENFPs don’t know what the right decision is until after they make the decision.
  • ENFP Survey
  • ENFPs struggle with decision-making.
  • Clarity comes after they are in action and it feels so inefficient to them.
  • Janus-like quality: walking contradictions
  • Joel is an ENFP
  • ENFPs can go down the road of allowing their emotions to run the show.
  • Or they get the message that their emotions can’t be trusted, so they lock down those emotions and ignore their gut.
  • Over-emotional vs. over-thinking: same root and the same solution
  • ENFPs will commit to something (roles, relationships, images, projects, jobs) then realize it isn’t right for them and they may have to hurt someone to extract themselves.
  • This is why they get the reputation of being flighty because they are afraid to commit out of fear of making the wrong decision.
  • Behavior is an emergent of how your mind is wired.
  • Car Model
  • The Driver of an ENFP is Extraverted Intuition (Ne). We’ve nicknamed it “Exploration.”
  • Ne is a learning process
  • It is all about messing with the external environment to see patterns emerge.
  • Speculative conclusions based on patterns it sees.
  • Behind the curtain thinking
  • Ne vs Ni podcast
  • ENFPs get so good at pattern recognition they see things the average person does not see.
  • Ne is very optimistic. Always looking for possibilities and potential.
  • Too many possibilities.
  • ENFPs copilot is Introverted Feeling (Fi) – “Authenticity.”
  • Authenticity is about doing what feels in alignment
  • What are the nuances of what I am feeling?
  • What is ethical for me?
  • ENFPs make their best decisions by using Authenticity
  • Behind Authenticity is the 10 yr old Extraverted Thinking (Te) – “Effectiveness”
  • What works? What gets the job done?
  • Authenticity requires embodiment before it knows what it wants, so it is easier to skip Authenticity and go to the tertiary to “get the job done.”
  • Effectiveness can lead to a lot of decisions that the ENFP doesn’t want to make but will make to be more expeditious or considerate of others.
  • Te tertiary is about getting into action.
  • Te short circuits the energetic wastefulness of Fi.
  • Society is impatient. It doesn’t want to wait for the ENFP to find clarity.
  • When the ENFP makes too many quick decisions, they end up committing to something that isn’t right for them.
  • If one of their values is commitment, they won’t go back on their decision. They sit in misery to honor their commitment.
  • Or they commit to nothing out of fear of being trapped
  • Behind the driver is the inferior function (3 yr old) Introverted Sensing – “Memory.”
  • Memory is about precedence. Status quo.
  • Memory is a blind spot for ENFPs and can hijack their life
  • When they feel stuck, without options, depressed, trapped – it is a sign the ENFP is in that memory process.
  • It can feel like life is being choked out of them, and it is never going to get better.
  • Can show up in times of illness.
  • ENFPs are already so aware of their body interactions due to Introverted Feeling that illness can seem overwhelming.
  • Acknowledge that you aren’t stuck. It isn’t real. It is just a story. Time to get back into your Driver of Extraverted Intuition.
  • Introverted Feeling is the solution to a lot of these problems.
  • ENFPs need to slow waaaaay down.
  • ENFPs are accustomed to moving fast, but they have to approach decisions from a very slow, internal viewpoint.
  • Recognize that Authenticity can be fickle.
  • Keep context in a way that supports Introverted Feeling.
  • The fussy artist lives in Fi – if the conditions aren’t right the Fi can’t get something done, but the ENFP wants to get something done due to their tertiary Te, so they jump into action.
  • Allow yourself to be fussy
  • For an ENFP their highest leverage point is what they are saying NO to.
  • That way they aren’t overwhelmed by the things they have committed but aren’t right for them.
  • Opportunities may pass you by. That’s okay.
  • You begin to realize that a lot of opportunities you were chasing weren’t in alignment anyway.
  • You surround yourself with satisfying relationships and opportunities.
  • Every personality type gives something to the social ecosystem that no other type can provide.
  • ENFPs bring embodiment: they have to embody something fully to grasp it and bring it to others.
  • Like a tuning fork sending out vibrations to others to make others feel optimistic.
  • ENFPs see others at their best.
  • People seek out ENFPs because they love how they feel around them.
  • Michael Moore is an ENFP who performs the things he is convicted about.
  • ENFPs love being coaches, directors, performers, etc.
  • Another challenge ENFPs have is the tendency to attract emotional or social leeches.
  • The ENFP may start to learn that they can’t stay present with people or someone will trap them into a vortex of social leeches.
  • Lots of reasons why people perceive ENFPs as flighty – they avoid going deep with people.
  • Infrastructure stacks over time and they don’t realize they are overwhelmed until it happens and they break down.
  • Why are you keeping your commitment? Is this a value of yours? Or are you afraid of upsetting someone?
  • ENFPs need to permit themselves to change plans if necessary.
  • The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron
  • ENFPs find themselves surrounded by Crazymakers.
  • Fi can find any emotion in their heart or mind so if they encounter someone who is emotionally struggling the ENFP can experience what it is like being that person, so they have a lot of sympathy for them.
  • If an ENFP can find any emotion in their heart, they can find any motivation in their heart, and they are aware of the dark places we all carry within us.
  • Emotions are the seat of motivation and emotions are powerful for ENFPs.
  • ENFPs try to avoid the wrong emotions.
  • The dragon’s job is to guard the gold.
  • Being able to understand the human experience and sympathize with people in their darkest space is on the other side of facing those dragons.
  • An insecurity ENFPs expressed in the survey is the sense that they are the dumbest person in the room.
  • ENFPs are brilliant and highly intuitive, but articulation can be a challenge.
  • “I feel strongly about this; I’m not sure why but I think the awareness will come later.”
  • It feels empowering to do this because it buys the necessary time for Fi to do its job.
  • Trusting your gut is the first challenge before anyone else can trust it.
  • Emotion is deep
  • Feelings are temporary
  • Determine the difference when you are feeling it.
  • Understand that everything you do is chasing an emotion in the hopes of gaining the necessary motivation.
  • What emotion do you want to feel?
  • It isn’t about doing. It is about being and feeling.
  • What emotion is most essential for you right now? Excitement? Empowerment? Romance?
  • Make a list of how you can feel the desired emotion.
  • If you are in the middle of a fight stop to ask yourself, “What emotion do I want to feel right now?” you will begin to access emotions you want on command.

In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type. #ENFP #MBTI #ENFPpersonality

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  • Joanna
    • Joanna
    • October 24, 2018 at 8:10 am

    Hi, I am an ENFP married to an INTJ as well. I thought I had ADHD and tried to explain to my INTJ it is really difficult for me being what he would expect from me. I am messy, immature, impulsive etc too. I suffocated me. And made him so sad. He had TOLD me what he expected from me and I did not accomplish. Now we agreed to move apart so that I do not interfare with his organized ways of taking care of the children. I want to play the piano in the middle of putting the kids to bed… that kind of stuff. I want our lives to be happy, spontaneous and a bit crazy. I work as a maths anf physics teacher and I am very successful proffessionally. In work with students ages 13-16. What I did (he hates MBTI too) was to NOT talk about it at all, to respecy that whish of his. But to send him a link about ENFP-INTJ relationships, about what an INTJ child and an ENFP child needs (our daughters) noting that he as an INTJ is very important to our little INTJ. And then I sent a text from Anna Moss about how INTP:s often are misdiagnozed as Aspbergers or ADD. He is strongly against diagnozing kids with ADHD and did not beleive my selfdiagnosis either. To him it is all lack of self discipline due to faulty upbringing. He had strict boundaries as a kid, I did not (thank God… Or pehaps some more would have done me good). Finally I sent him Anna Mosses final words in her book about INTJ ( he melted) and told him (now I dared to speak a little) I now truly understand his needs finally, thanks to MBTI. And I also showed that in practice. His world view has grown. It is possible. With the right strategy.

  • Crystal
    • Crystal
    • September 1, 2018 at 7:35 pm

    As an ENFP, I struggle with acknowledging my “exploration” tendencies while also suffering from being too gullible. Granted I’m now over 50 so I’m not as gullible as I used to be; but that weakness is still in me. Shouldn’t exploration cancel out such a weakness?

    Thank you for your response.

  • Samaritan
    • Samaritan
    • August 10, 2018 at 3:11 am

    I’m Samaritan, My extroverted intuition and sensing brought me to truck driving. As an ENFP I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Like one thing will lead to another. I don’t plan things because it wouldn’t be much of an adventure plus I would be hesitant to do something. Also my other functions would tune in and confuse me. Sometimes to make a change of habits, it’s better to not think just do. Cause when you are doing it then your more than likely to have the dominant functions of your mind take over and you get a better feel from change. We ENFP type are able to adapt and improvise in any situation. In conclusion just do it. Whatever it is you want to do just do it. Your mind will function at it’s best when you’re in the midst of something you are doing. That is my opinion from my perspective on how to get myself unstuck. One last thing. If you really want something bad enough you will find a way. Your mind is an amazing thing. Use it.

  • Samaritan
    • Samaritan
    • August 10, 2018 at 2:35 am

    I would tell your husband nothing since he is closed minded and possibly stubborn. Talking to him about things that interest you ?. Might lead to conflicting criticism, or he might just ruin the moment of inspiration. Some ideas are best shared with specific groups of people. Aside from that, facebook has groups for ENTP’s I think ?.

  • Sharada
    • Sharada
    • May 17, 2018 at 6:20 pm

    I love this! It really helped. I mean I was really stressed overworking and using that effectiveness process so much and now I’m like – it’s fine if I use it. – as long as I use it through authenticity! I mean this was really meaningful! Your analysis and ideas changed my life from depression and suicidal ideation to empowerment! So seriously, thank you so much, and all the best inspiring others!

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