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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and challenges of the ENFP personality type.
In this podcast on the ENFP personality type you’ll find:
- ENFP
- Sometimes ENFPs don’t know what the right decision is until after they make the decision.
- ENFP Survey
- ENFPs struggle with decision-making.
- Clarity comes after they are in action and it feels so inefficient to them.
- Janus-like quality: walking contradictions
- Joel is an ENFP
- ENFPs can go down the road of allowing their emotions to run the show.
- Or they get the message that their emotions can’t be trusted, so they lock down those emotions and ignore their gut.
- Over-emotional vs. over-thinking: same root and the same solution
- ENFPs will commit to something (roles, relationships, images, projects, jobs) then realize it isn’t right for them and they may have to hurt someone to extract themselves.
- This is why they get the reputation of being flighty because they are afraid to commit out of fear of making the wrong decision.
- Behavior is an emergent of how your mind is wired.
- Car Model
- The Driver of an ENFP is Extraverted Intuition (Ne). We’ve nicknamed it “Exploration.”
- Ne is a learning process
- It is all about messing with the external environment to see patterns emerge.
- Speculative conclusions based on patterns it sees.
- Behind the curtain thinking
- Ne vs Ni podcast
- ENFPs get so good at pattern recognition they see things the average person does not see.
- Ne is very optimistic. Always looking for possibilities and potential.
- Too many possibilities.
- ENFPs copilot is Introverted Feeling (Fi) – “Authenticity.”
- Authenticity is about doing what feels in alignment
- What are the nuances of what I am feeling?
- What is ethical for me?
- ENFPs make their best decisions by using Authenticity
- Behind Authenticity is the 10 yr old Extraverted Thinking (Te) – “Effectiveness”
- What works? What gets the job done?
- Authenticity requires embodiment before it knows what it wants, so it is easier to skip Authenticity and go to the tertiary to “get the job done.”
- Effectiveness can lead to a lot of decisions that the ENFP doesn’t want to make but will make to be more expeditious or considerate of others.
- Te tertiary is about getting into action.
- Te short circuits the energetic wastefulness of Fi.
- Society is impatient. It doesn’t want to wait for the ENFP to find clarity.
- When the ENFP makes too many quick decisions, they end up committing to something that isn’t right for them.
- If one of their values is commitment, they won’t go back on their decision. They sit in misery to honor their commitment.
- Or they commit to nothing out of fear of being trapped
- Behind the driver is the inferior function (3 yr old) Introverted Sensing – “Memory.”
- Memory is about precedence. Status quo.
- Memory is a blind spot for ENFPs and can hijack their life
- When they feel stuck, without options, depressed, trapped – it is a sign the ENFP is in that memory process.
- It can feel like life is being choked out of them, and it is never going to get better.
- Can show up in times of illness.
- ENFPs are already so aware of their body interactions due to Introverted Feeling that illness can seem overwhelming.
- Acknowledge that you aren’t stuck. It isn’t real. It is just a story. Time to get back into your Driver of Extraverted Intuition.
- Introverted Feeling is the solution to a lot of these problems.
- ENFPs need to slow waaaaay down.
- ENFPs are accustomed to moving fast, but they have to approach decisions from a very slow, internal viewpoint.
- Recognize that Authenticity can be fickle.
- Keep context in a way that supports Introverted Feeling.
- The fussy artist lives in Fi – if the conditions aren’t right the Fi can’t get something done, but the ENFP wants to get something done due to their tertiary Te, so they jump into action.
- Allow yourself to be fussy
- For an ENFP their highest leverage point is what they are saying NO to.
- That way they aren’t overwhelmed by the things they have committed but aren’t right for them.
- Opportunities may pass you by. That’s okay.
- You begin to realize that a lot of opportunities you were chasing weren’t in alignment anyway.
- You surround yourself with satisfying relationships and opportunities.
- Every personality type gives something to the social ecosystem that no other type can provide.
- ENFPs bring embodiment: they have to embody something fully to grasp it and bring it to others.
- Like a tuning fork sending out vibrations to others to make others feel optimistic.
- ENFPs see others at their best.
- People seek out ENFPs because they love how they feel around them.
- Michael Moore is an ENFP who performs the things he is convicted about.
- ENFPs love being coaches, directors, performers, etc.
- Another challenge ENFPs have is the tendency to attract emotional or social leeches.
- The ENFP may start to learn that they can’t stay present with people or someone will trap them into a vortex of social leeches.
- Lots of reasons why people perceive ENFPs as flighty – they avoid going deep with people.
- Infrastructure stacks over time and they don’t realize they are overwhelmed until it happens and they break down.
- Why are you keeping your commitment? Is this a value of yours? Or are you afraid of upsetting someone?
- ENFPs need to permit themselves to change plans if necessary.
- The Artist’s Way by Julie Cameron
- ENFPs find themselves surrounded by Crazymakers.
- Fi can find any emotion in their heart or mind so if they encounter someone who is emotionally struggling the ENFP can experience what it is like being that person, so they have a lot of sympathy for them.
- If an ENFP can find any emotion in their heart, they can find any motivation in their heart, and they are aware of the dark places we all carry within us.
- Emotions are the seat of motivation and emotions are powerful for ENFPs.
- ENFPs try to avoid the wrong emotions.
- The dragon’s job is to guard the gold.
- Being able to understand the human experience and sympathize with people in their darkest space is on the other side of facing those dragons.
- An insecurity ENFPs expressed in the survey is the sense that they are the dumbest person in the room.
- ENFPs are brilliant and highly intuitive, but articulation can be a challenge.
- “I feel strongly about this; I’m not sure why but I think the awareness will come later.”
- It feels empowering to do this because it buys the necessary time for Fi to do its job.
- Trusting your gut is the first challenge before anyone else can trust it.
- Emotion is deep
- Feelings are temporary
- Determine the difference when you are feeling it.
- Understand that everything you do is chasing an emotion in the hopes of gaining the necessary motivation.
- What emotion do you want to feel?
- It isn’t about doing. It is about being and feeling.
- What emotion is most essential for you right now? Excitement? Empowerment? Romance?
- Make a list of how you can feel the desired emotion.
- If you are in the middle of a fight stop to ask yourself, “What emotion do I want to feel right now?” you will begin to access emotions you want on command.
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94 comments
I would tell your husband nothing since he is closed minded and possibly stubborn. Talking to him about things that interest you ?. Might lead to conflicting criticism, or he might just ruin the moment of inspiration. Some ideas are best shared with specific groups of people. Aside from that, facebook has groups for ENTP’s I think ?.
I love this! It really helped. I mean I was really stressed overworking and using that effectiveness process so much and now I’m like – it’s fine if I use it. – as long as I use it through authenticity! I mean this was really meaningful! Your analysis and ideas changed my life from depression and suicidal ideation to empowerment! So seriously, thank you so much, and all the best inspiring others!
I recently discovered your podcast and website whilst doing some research for a book which has a chapter on personality profiling. I have to admit I started listening and I’ve not stopped. Your show has massively opened my eyes and has massively enhanced my own personal growth path.
I have a few questions I’d like to put to you.
1. I’m an ENFP / Enneagram 7 / 4 / 9 . I fully identify with this type in all ways. I first got MBTI tested when i was in my early 20’s and like most people took my reading as pretty cool, and accurate but I didn’t dig deeper into the cognitive functions. I lived through my late teens and early 20’s with a very dark cloud of depression hanging over me. I had some very dark times. I know now that that is because I had not been living inline with my personal values. In my mid thirties I had a real crisis and I went to my doctors to say I needed some more support as I’d been on antidepressants since I was 18 but I was still unhappy and not in control of my emotions (in fact I was totally under the control of my emotions and life was like being on a rollercoaster. In tears one minute and bouncing with joy the next. The doctor agreed I needed additional support and I was sent for a Psych consult and within 20 mins I was given the diagnosis as Bipolar (type 2) disorder (there is a family history but I had not considered it myself before as I’ve never suffered from full-blown mania, just hypomania which manifests as periods of intense creativity/productivity). Suddenly my entire life made sense. The highs and lows.
I was put on a mood stabiliser and it changed my life for the better from day one. Since then I’ve been on a personal growth journey and am starting to do coaching now myself. My question here really is … have you noticed any other ENFP’s who have reported being Bipolar? It seems so intrinsically in our nature I wondered how common it was? I would imagine that Bipolar is a very extreme embodiment of the ENFP persona? Are there other personality types who are prone to psychiatric diagnosis in their extreme embodiments of their personas?
2. I am married to an INTJ. We are almost like polar opposites in so many ways. I’m creative, he’s analytical, extrov/introv, facts v feelings. I really vibe off our differences but I’ve lived the last 17 years with Andy, feeling like I was broken because he has struggled with my different viewpoints in life. He likes things tidy, I’m messy. I’ve been told i’m clumsy, flighty, irresponsible, careless and immature. Around the time of my crisis and my diagnosis of bipolar I realised that I wasn’t broken and that some of it was due to a disorder but my type analysis has given me the feeling that I am valid in how i show up in the world. I think this system has given me and must give others such comfort. My main issue now is that my husband is militantly against Myers Briggs and indeed any personality profiling. He takes an uber scientific/academic view of everything and has read all of the criticisms of the system and can only see the bad in it. (i.e boxing people, the dangers of using it in recruitment etc). I too have read all of this and I know that it was only ever intended as a tool for personal / interpersonal growth, but I wanted to know how you would argue the cause to someone who is so massively against the system. In some ways my husband is quite closed minded to things he has made his mind upon. I’m writing a book (as i mentioned previously). It is a self help book based on my journey from crisis to a place of elevated personal growth and understanding. I am intending to write one chapter on how i’ve found personality profiling so fundamentally life changing but I want to acknowledge that it’s not something that everyone agrees with. What would you say to my husband?
As an ENFP, this podcast has taken my understanding of how I am wired to a much deeper level, and many of the points that you raise I can see reflected in my own experience.
For example, when I am under pressure I can see that my weaknesses come out. I think your car model is a very insightful and helpful way for me to think about this.
My exploration strength has led me to be extremely good at business strategy, innovation and dreaming up unconventional solutions. I have had roles where I have been given time and space to break new ground and bring ideas to reality. These opportunities have been fantastic and I get a real sense of flow and personal achievement from them. Your tuning fork analogy is a great way of explaining this.
In a couple of other businesses I think I was seen as a bit flighty and not so intelligent. Honestly this did annoy me at the time, but looking back I stayed far too long in those companies. In both cases I was given roles that was more about implementation than innovation, which I could do but which neutralised my strength for exploration. I think my skills may have been threatening in some way.
I’m now at the time of life where I am thinking about easing back a bit and going in a new direction. Your insights on thinking about emotions will help a lot I believe. My question is am I too late to be thinking about personal growth, or is this relevant for everyone at all ages?
Wow! I listened to this episode at work and almost coming to tears because I heard myself being described back to me. I have always been interested in people and personality, and have taken various tests throughout my life. I always ALWAYS thought I was an introvert! Whenever I would express this to friends (or strangers I had just met that instantly became my friends) I would get strange looks of disbelief as my friends would tell me that simply wasn’t possible, haha. My most recent personality test that I took about a six months ago revealed the ENFP, and I was overjoyed to get an E. I always wanted to be an extrovert. Listening to this episode and having this type broken down for me was insanely helpful in allowing me to understand myself a little better and to know I am not the only one with some of these feelings, or thought processes. Anyway, I could literally talk about this all day! I will definitely continue digging into learning more about my ENFP self! Thank you for putting in the time and effort to put this podcasts together! It has done so much for me already, as I’m sure it has and will continue to do for others!
Have a great day!