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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about self awareness and how it can be confused for actual self development.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- The generation we were raised in impacts us and our personality.
- Millennials seem to have more self-awareness at a younger age compared to Gen Xers or Baby Boomers.
- Millennials have a sense of self-awareness which comes earlier but they don’t necessarily have the maturity to go along with it. So there’s a tendency for some millennials to mitigate or excuse a bad behavior just because they’re aware of it.
- There are people who (mostly Gen Xers and Boomers) did not gain self-awareness until the internet age happened.
- Baby Boomers might have gone to some awareness but their purpose was different.
- What is self-awareness and what does it mean to be self-aware?
- Self-awareness allows you to understand other people, how they identify you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment.
- It’s an expanding world-view. It’s about being able to see the bigger picture in our daily lives. This is when we start to take into account more and more perspective based on what’s happening around us.
- Millennials are born into a world where events and news are publicized real-time (example – social med and 24/7 news) this gives them the feeling of being super aware of their world.
- Self-awareness plays a huge part in self-development. We want to be self-aware on our behaviors because you want to understand the impact you have in the world and influence the people you know in a positive way.
- Self-awareness does not equal self-development. It’s a stage or a phase and not a destination or an end game.
- If you haven’t actually integrated it, then you have self-awareness without the commensurate amount of maturity that goes along with it.
- Social Justice Warrior. Someone who feels like they are aware of the major problems in the world. They find solutions to the problem and help spread awareness of the problem to other people.
- In your personal development journey, it’s not about ending the behaviors, it’s about managing the behaviors when they show up so you can be your best self.
- Knowledge is not equally proportional to Integration. Just because you understand and teach a concept, doesn’t mean that you’ve integrated it.
- Growth is a very challenging process. It’s not only about understanding concepts and keys.
- One of the things that development tools do to us is they help speed-up the overall process of self-development.
- Just learning personal development tools and how they work doesn’t equate having done the work. The work means creating a relationship with your ego that acknowledges that you’re going to show-up bad sometimes, not your best self, and being able to hold space and manage your ego.
- The idea of being self-aware and giving yourself an excuse for behaving badly doesn’t show compassion to other people.
- There’s no expectation that people who are young are supposed to be mature because they have self-awareness.
- Just because you have complete mastery of a concept and understand it well enough to even explain it to another person, doesn’t mean that you’ve done the work to fully embody it.
- Just because you’re aware of your bad behavior, doesn’t mean that’s enough to mitigate it.
- Awareness is mature when it’s aware of its limitations. When you realize that you didn’t know the whole situation fully, we come to realize that there’s always more to know.
- Wisdom is the ability to understand not only where your shortcomings are but also recognizing the impact it has on other people.
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10 comments
Gen Xer here, and newly acquainted with PH.
This topic is so interesting. The prevalence of self-awareness of Millennials, at a younger age, is definitely evident. It’s heartening to witness their introspection. I feel that as that generation moves into leadership roles in the future, societies will become more community focused, compared to the individualistic nature of societies headed up by Boomers (securing their financial status). Therefore, it’s up to us Gen Xers to smooth the path for the following generation.
From the perspective of someone close to 50yo, there’s not point trying to emulate the prior generation. They had their turn to create their lifestyle. What they created was long working and commuting hours, disconnected families, competitiveness and judgement, identities based on one’s ability to acquire goods and services. There’s too much to list. What would make more sense is for Gen Xers to turn their attention to helping the ‘self-aware’ Millennials work through their self-development. Supporting them in the process is a win-win-win, for the Millennials, Gen Xers, and the future society we will be living in.
I found this podcast very interesting, I do seem to see the same thing in the world around me. I am in my 50’s and self awareness has been a journey for me, but my step sons are more like you describe. They do say they are aware of their life choices but don’t care how it affects their mother. I see them as lacking maturity as you discuss in the podcast but they think it is fine to have a negative affect on their mothers life because she just let’s it happen. Listening to the way you describe it here helps me understand better why they disregard their mothers happiness with the way they treat her. Thanks for what you do.
So awareness is not growth. Then what is the next step to get from awareness to growth?
I like the distinction between self awareness and self development.
I often see that when someone (whether they consider themselves an sjw or not) points out a concept or behavior of another person (for example, white privilege or sexism), if that person accepts the concept, they often say “Ok. So what shall I do now? Where do we go from here?”
A lot of self awareness is just listing facts or truths about ourselves. For example, I’m aware that I hold some prejudices of trans people. The thing is, I’ve only just now started to work on that despite living with, and interacting with trans people in my social circles for a few years now. Huge difference between being aware and self development.
It can be really difficult because a huge number of issues in the world right now are concept-based. That means the solution isn’t physical. It’s rooted in mentality/a thinking pattern. Physical habits will result because of the change, but the actual change must happen in the conceptual realm. I think that’s the biggest factor we have to acknowledge in order to encourage maturity.
PS: One more meme (maybe the most striking one) – “first world problems”. My generations makes fun of the fact that we live very privileged lives but are still unhappy because to stuff like this:
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/142/422/tumblr.jpg?1309540116