Podcast - Episode 0169 - Enneagram Personality Types with Beatrice Chestnut

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with Enneagram author and expert Beatrice Chestnut.

In this podcast you’ll find:

• • The Enneagram personality types are such accurate descriptions of patterns of thinking, feeling behaving and how they work together to build a defense system of dealing with the world and your life. However, it can then become a rigid sense of being in the world and it becomes an unseen way of living – a blind spot – you don’t know what you don’t know. It’s what our strengths are based in as well. You could gain so much from understanding yourself through this lense because it’s such a clear way of understanding why you do what you do.
  • Zoomed all the way out: Set of three centers – Heart, Mind, body
  • Then Zoom in – Three different numbers in each of those three triads
  • Then zoom in again and you have three subtypes
  • Subtypes are three different sub-personalities of each of the nine types.
  • Humans are three-brained-beings: Head, Heart, Body (and there are three types in each)
  • For example the Body: Movement in the world, action vs inaction, instincts live there/reptilian brain, basic instincts and biological drives.
  • Three main instincts: they’re not subject to thinking, they just happen.
  • Self Preservation: Stay alive, be safe
  • Social Relating: getting along with the group/heard
  • One-to-one / Sexual
  • Deep dive into Joel’s Type
  • Enneagram 6
  • All subtypes are very different from each other to the point where you almost can’t even talk about one them all together; there’s not a lot of overlap in characteristics in each different 6.
  • Fear is a core characteristic and fear reactions can show up in different ways.
  • Some engage more in flight, some more in fight, some more in protective authority.
  • Self Preservation: A “2ish” 6
  • A warm, friendly person who is more actively aware of their fear.
  • Other 6’s don’t even know that they’re fearful until they learn the Enneagram.
  • Actively fearful and automatically solves fear and insecurity by making alliances with other people.
  • Wants to collect protectors so they have to be nice to be around.
  • Does not react from aggression.
  • Most ambiguous and has a hard time with doubt and uncertainty and rarely finds certainty in life; lots of questioning, doubts everything, experiences separation anxiety.
  • Social 6:
  • More intellectual
  • Attempts to solve the problem of fear through being authoritarian in order to find safety (this authority can be a person, ideology, a culture, a way of living, etc).
  • Has a more rational way of thinking and living; they know what to do under certain circumstances.
  • Fear comes from ambiguity and uncertainty which causes anxiety; sees the world in black and white and likes a system of rules.
  • Sexual 6: (JOEL)
  • Deals with fear thru taking it head on, best defence is a good offense, a counterphobic 6; won’t even register the fear.
  • Tries to be scary themselves (in the way they dress, make themselves physically strong, moves in world in a way that’s threatening and intimidating to others; not really trying to though, it’s just how they hold themselves.
  • Risk takers; feels most safe when they are going to meet the anxiety and dance with dager. Shows resilience; may want to control lots of resource and business acumen.
  • An ability to make things happen; relates to 3’s a lot; wants to be powerful in the world; wants to be dominant in all situations.
  • Advice for them: a lot about getting in touch with fear and vulnerability.
  • They will act from fear but won’t actually know the fear itself or the root of it and that gets them in trouble.
  • Acts aggressively to the degree that they feel vulnerable and unsafe; moderate aggression; they need to understand where it’s coming from.
  • Needs to understand how vulnerability motivates them.
  • Should have more compassion for themselves around fear and vulnerability and communicate about it with others;
  • Figure out what the triggers really are and what you do in response and slow it down so it’s not a knee jerk thing.
  • They will feel silly and take an ego hit if they become vulnerable.
  • Some of the most effective leaders are able to self disclose in a mindful way their vulnerability because it makes them more approachable.
  • Deep Dive into Antonia’s Type
  • Enneagram 3
  • Wants others to see them in a positive light; lives for and is good at meeting people and then matches up with or becomes the image of whatever the people around them view as competent and productive, etc
  • Self Preservation:
  • Very hard workers; very sensitive about not being seen as bragging or boasting because they don’t just want to get things done and have a good image.
  • They also want to be good because if security is tied to what you do, in a weird way it becomes even more important that you not only seem good, but you do good.
  • Wants to be a good model of whatever it is they are – partner, mom, etc – as determined by social consensus
  • Virtuous; has vanity for having no vanity; and doesn’t want to admit all this.
  • “l used to have a Mercedes but I was embarrassed to be seen in it, so traded it in for a Prius; uncomfortable wearing designer brands, etc and not too vain.
  • Biggest workaholic in Enneagram.
  • Has an added element of fear and anxiety around material things; archetypal provider, most likely the father, was not there or was ineffectual so they always had to make it happen themselves; very successful and self-sufficient.
  • Has the hardest time slowing down and has difficulty with self care.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 1.
  • Not competitive because they’re more concerned with the good of group so why be competitive.
  • Social 3:
  • Likes recognition, being on stage, really good at looking good, flawless appearance, corporate mentality, doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it looks good.
  • More competitive; doing what’s good for the group and more competitive and aggressive; bigger and larger than life.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 8.
  • Sexual 3:
  • Presenting an attractive image in relationships.
  • Supportive of others.
  • Very hard working in general as well, but often feels as though their success is tied to other people’s; they’ve had a big win if people they support have big wins; works very hard on the behalf of other people, so attracting partners in positive relationships asnd working hard so other succeed and not just themselves.
  • They see potential in others that they don’t even see; likes the potential of others as opposed to the actuality of the person.
  • They see the path to get to places that the other person can’t even see.
  • Looks like an Enneagram 2; very good cheerleaders and supporters and can do a lot of the work needed to get you where you need to go.
  • Blindspots/advice:
  • Most emotional of the 3’s; can sometimes have sadness underneath because their focus is on others so much and not themselves.
  • They need to help others but put equal amounts of energy into connecting with themselves and nourishing themselves like they do for others.
  • Put on your own oxygen mask first.
  • It’s sometimes considered a virtue in our society to deny yourself and put others first; but it’s a vice, not a virtue; it’ a good narrative but very much a crutch.
  • Try to understand your emotional experiences as they’re happening.
  • Can be quite disconnected from themselves while they’re so connected to others.
  • They get rewarded because of their personality style; too much caretaking of others at the negelct of your well-being is a huge blindspsot – so leave time and space to connect with yourself.
  • Beatrice Chestnut’s Type:
  • Self Preservation 2:
  • Childlike
  • Fearful, lots of ambivalence about relationships, doesn’t trust many people
  • Developing as a Self Pres 2:
  • 2’s don’t want to ask for what they need, it’s hard.
  • Try to get things indirectly with charm and positive repor.
  • Charming like a child is charming in presence of grown ups, like a cute 2; teachers pet
  • Consciously evoking care from others, good at sensing what other people need, to create positive relationships.
  • “If I’m good to you and friendly then you’ll like me.”
  • Has a sense of well-being from being liked.
  • Remaining young is like creating a character that people like and want to take care of
  • Growth task: to grow up, become an adult
  • Unconsciously, they don’t want to take care of themselves, they want other people to do it.
  • Didn’t get emotional needs met when they were young, so you have to take care of me in others ways now.
  • You need to step into your power more and gain authority of your life.
  • Do things for yourself, create real independence and not a fantasy of independence.
  • General advice for beginning to study the Enneagram:
  • Complete Enneagram book step by step guide
  • Taking online tests are tricky and not always accurate so hold the results lightly; use the data as a node and not the answer.
  • Ask “how does this relate to me?”
  • Talk to family and friends about your test results and see how it resonates with them.
  • Be honest with yourself about which descriptions you identify with the most.
  • You will relate to more than one type because of wing points and other types you’re connected to.
  • No better way than to do reading and reflecting and use the whole book as a guide.
  • Beatricechestnut.com
  • The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut

Want to Learn More From Beatrice? Check out:

Enneagram Roadmap