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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about strategies for getting yourself out of a bad mood.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- We get caught in mood loops, and we don’t know what to do to pull ourselves out of the bad mood.
- Podcast How To Get Out of a Funk
- Sometimes bad moods occur when we feel we are out of control.
- Bad moods seem unpredictable and random.
- We struggle to get ourselves out of a bad mood because we can’t predict them and prepare for them.
- We tend to blame others for our moods in an attempt to relieve the feeling.
- We may act out in hopes that someone will relieve our pain somehow.
- Thinkers may struggle to recognize when they’re in a bad mood.
- Thinking dominants may need feedback from others to know they are having a bad day.
- Once you recognize you are in a bad mood, take full responsibility for your attitude.
- “I am responsible for how I feel and how I show up to the world.”
- Podcast: Can you control your emotions?
- You are the person who gets to decide what emotion you want to be feeling.
- Even if you don’t have the skill/talent to deal with your emotional state you are still responsible for your emotions.
- Sometimes when we are in a bad mood, we are too zoomed in on a specific situation.
- Try zooming out and get a meta-perspective on the situation.
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Come from a framework of gratitude:
- What am I grateful for?
- What am I thankful for?
- Be grateful for the thing that is putting you in a bad mood.
- It may be pointing to something that you need to deal with.
- You can feel grateful for literally anything
- Gratitude is as abundant as love
- Sometimes we can be grateful to be alive
-
Objectify your mood:
- Laugh at yourself
- Call out the mood directly – articulate the specifics of the mood
- We tend to want to harbor our lousy mood and protect it.
- Objectifying the mood allows us to see the absurdity of our emotions.
- “We’re going to laugh about this later.”
- Accelerate the process and get to the funny story part.
- Some people use substance to get out of a bad mood, and that isn’t necessarily a good way to train your body.
- Choose healthier options
- Why we are reluctant to let go of bad moods is because it is a strategy to deal with something.
- If we stop the bad mood, we create a vacuum.
- Try replacing the bad mood with gratitude, empowerment, action.
- Emotion follows motion
- Take control of the messaging
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20 comments
I definitely enjoyed this podcast. I remember seeing it when it first came out and was totally intrigued by it because I struggle with my moods often. However, I did choose to listen to it today since it’s day two of a low level depressed mood. I don’t like being here and simply hearing Joel’s passion lifted me up enough to say, “yea! I want to feel better and have fun!” Haha I’m very grateful for this podcast and practical how to work. Thank you so much.
This podcast is wonderful truely i enjoy listening to this PH always helpful. I was also in a bad mood before I heard this podcast, sometimes I don’t realise when I’m in a bad mood usually others will ask me if I’m ok that’s when i’ll notice that something isn,t fine. In short i just want to say i can relate to the previous comments i have felt some of those expriences to be more specific my ego which keeps me ground it’s like whenever i’m in a bad mood it’s so hard for me to get ride of it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about it like why did i let that affert my mood also i agree with Antonia on the stuff she points out. Thank youI’ve been a grouchy, old mama bear for quite a few days now and I find it eerie how you people so often put out a podcast that coincides with something I’m going through in real time. I might be in a slightly better mood after hearing the podcast but not really. Usually I can pull myself out of it quite easily by vocalizing that I’m being a grouch. I’ll say to my kids “I feel like a grouchy bear today” or “My 3 year old is coming out and I need to put her away before she has a full out tantrum” or “I’m having a terrible, awful, no good, very bad day” which references a children’s book. Tea and cookies helps a little bit. Walking in the trees and having alone time usually helps me greatly. But something deeper is going on in my life right now. The mood is so bad that my joints actually ache with weariness. I’ve been accommodating the moods of someone else in the household for months and even years now, and I’m just not strong enough to keep it up anymore. I acknowledge that it’s up to me to change the way I’m dealing with it and to find a different route. But I’m lost at the moment. So I’ve given myself permission to go through what I need to in order to find a different direction. Right now that means I’m grouchy and sad and I need to be left alone. So I sit in the garden and let the warmth of the sun help relieve the aches in my joints as I try to zoom out and look at my life from above to find a different way.
You caught me on a great day to hear this podcast. I was not in a bad mood when listening, but did exercise methods of getting out of a bad mood shortly before listening.
Today’s technique was to identify that I was in a bad mood, realize that the reason for the moodiness was unfounded and force myself into thinking about the upcoming weekend, that is going to be great. So, this technique was to just minimize the importance of the reason for the bad mood and shift my thinking to something positive.
I listen frequently, maybe too frequently. So, frequently that I would like to ask you guys to lighten up on the “quote-unquote” inserts ;) Or keep up the frequency and I will design a drinking game around it.
This is a great podcast that has added value to my life and my relationship with my wife. I understand myself better and continue to work toward a better me.
I actually was in a bad mood when I saw this in my inbox this morning and initially dismissed it and thought “ugh. I don’t need to listen to anything THEY have to say. Grumble grumble perfect marriage. Grumble grumble perfect family and career …” Then I realized this response I had is very different from the usual. I usually love seeing PH in my inbox. So I realized that an aspect of me was resisting this info and trying to protect my bad mood. At the time I wanted to savor and wallow in my bad mood. At the time, it felt like Antonia and Joel wanted to “fix” my bad mood so that the people around me who “caused” my bad mood wouldn’t have to answer for it when I lash out at them and try to make them feel what I feel. It seemed like they were attempting to fix my bad mood not for my benefit, but because things are much more convenient for everyone else if I would just shut up and get over my bad mood. (Yes my bad mood self projects all sorts of intentions onto other people that probably aren’t accurate)
Now on the other side of the podcast I am feeling much better but I strongly disagree with Joel’s suggestion of poking fun — it is invalidating, marginalizing and seems disrespectful. You wouldn’t do this to your friends, partner, or children (I hope), so why would you do this to yourself? I guess you could make fun with yourself instead at yourself, but unless you can, it seems like “poking fun” could cause more problems in the long run by fracturing the self — most people I meet don’t strike me as people who couid do this without some level of repression, suppression, or dissociation from their experience and themselves.
I do like Joel’s suggestion of calling the emotion out like a child would because the aspect of you in a bad mood probably IS an inner child so this is a way that lets him/her voice it. As you said, you should only do this with people you trust and I think it’s bc the poking fun that would happen with people who aren’t safe to do this in front of would be deeply wounding.
Antonia’s perspective and observations on harboring a bad mood as a strategy for solving a problem was very helpful as well as the observation that lack of sovereignty can trigger a bad mood — it helped me realize one reason why I do like to hold onto bad moods and helped me get out of feeling like a victim about it.
Anyway in conclusion thank you for this podcast. You are beautiful people.