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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about understanding where you are in your process and timeline of personal development.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • How do you know when advice is right for you?
  • Often we put that down to personality type. Good advice for one type may be terrible for another.
  • We believe advice comes in a more three-dimensional model.
  • Advice today may be terrible for you, but that guidance in a year or so may be exactly what you need.
  • Getting Things Done by David Allen
  • System’s Thinking podcast
  • Nothing is cause/effect. Every result is the emergent of an entire system running.
  • The parts of the system are called nodes.
  • One node we have a tendency to gloss over is where we happen to be in the stream of time.
  • Something that is working for someone else may not work for you because of where you are in your personal growth journey.
  • Or, something that has been working beautifully for you has stopped working because you have moved on.
  • Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t Hardcover by Jim Collins
  • What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Goldsmith & Reiter
  • Are you holding onto strategies that no longer work for you?
  • Or are you rejecting strategies that may work now but didn’t work in the past?
  • Timelines are important considerations in everything, including business, relationships, and personal growth.
  • We miss the concept of timelines in personal development.
  • When we feel stuck in a personal growth project, and we aren’t making the progress we want, we forget the fact that things take time.
  • Some of our growth projects may be lifelong.
  • In the early days of our personal growth, sometimes the best advice we can receive is to be aware of the habits we have.
  • Notice we are doing something when we are doing it. That’s the first step.
  • Over time, we can start building strategies to avoid getting to that space.
  • What are the systems creating the behavior?
  • If you are stuck in your personal growth, you may be in a different phase, and you need new tools.
  • Three meta-models (a model other models can fit into) that help us gauge where we are in the timeline:

1- Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

  • If you don’t have base needs met, you can’t move into the higher needs.
  • Physical needs need to be met first before exploring spiritual needs.
  • Many people settle with basement needs and forgo the spiritual ambitions.
  • Self-esteem can seem very similar to Safety and Security.
  • When you are trying to figure out where you are in your growth process, determine where you are in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
  • Then figure out where your personal development goal falls in the hierarchy.
  • This isn’t a lifetime thing. It’s a moment to moment thing.
  • Think of yourself as stratified along this hierarchy and ask yourself what life circumstances are governing you right now.

2- Dependence, Independence, Interdependence Model (7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey):

  • We go through these phases with almost everything that comes into our world, including our personal growth.
  • Interdependence is your ability to choose your relationship with something after experiencing dependence and independence from it.
  • If we ignore our obstacles, we can’t recognize them enough to control them.

3- Graves Model/Spiral Dynamics:

  • Advice for someone at Graves 3 is going to be terrible for Graves 6.
  • We naturally gravitate toward people that are where we want to be.
  • So, people at higher levels of the Graves Model will often give advice that works for them but won’t work for the person at a lower graves level.
  • We are looking for individuals who have gone through our experience but aren’t so far ahead that they are out of touch with what it means to be at our level.
  • Once you self-diagnose where you are at in the Graves model, take your personal growth projects and find where they fit on the model.
  • What is the best advice you would give to someone at a different level?
  • This helps us see other people with more compassion when they are in a different phase than we are.
  • Sometimes, certain parts of us may be at lower Graves levels.
  • We can also see where someone is stuck if they have been in a phase for way too long.
  • Is someone who is stuck and unwilling to move going to help us on our growth journey?

In this episode Joel and Antonia talk about understanding where you are in your process and timeline of personal development. #personaldevelopment

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  • Ruben
    • Ruben
    • August 15, 2018 at 9:54 pm

    Nice. ‘When’ is also on blinkist (awesome summary app that you should consider reading on!).

    Regarding beauty, it’s really subjective and what models are portraying might not even be in the majority of preference. So ‘beauty of the masses opinion’ in itself is ridiculous for me..
    Imho, there 2 sad things in the world revolving this :
    1. People who are blind to an opposing view of beauty aka can’t see that their opinion of beauty is subjective whether supported by ‘masses’ or not and stample therefore ‘other people’ ugly. Because they don’t fit their view.
    2. People who know this but still can’t manage(mostly female problem) to feel sexy or cute or hot or whatever they might prefer, about themselves.

    Also, although it’s on a smaller scale, I think mindset continum(growth VS fixed mindset) is very useful. There is also a book on it by Carol Dewck, but I really liked the picture model (by James Anderson) standalone.. If it’s completely fixed then growth advice won’t be recieved very well until they have overcome the fixed mindset ?

    + I know I’m a year late, But great episode ??

  • kate
    • kate
    • February 21, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    Y’all should check out Dan Pink’s new book about time/timelines/cognitive time milestones, etc…
    It’s called WHEN: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing. I don’t think the title properly describes the research he reports on in the book. I saw a lot of connections between his content and the ideas within this podcast. (… and since I’m an INTJ you should pay attention to my Perspectives!)
    Love your podcast! Keep it up!

  • RMN
    • RMN
    • August 5, 2017 at 4:54 am

    Wow, needed to hear this on so many levels

  • Grant
    • Grant
    • July 9, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    I really enjoyed this episode! It is easy to get excited and forget that personal development is a marathon and not a sprint. I also liked being reminded of these three models. I think I am in the Independence phase with MBTI. I started at INFJ, then INFP, and now I think I am an ENFP… At this point, I am dismissive of the model but I would like to come back to it soon. :)

  • Simon
    • Simon
    • July 4, 2017 at 10:01 am

    Great episode!

    Another model that has helped me is the Map of Consciousness from “Power vs Force” by David Hawkins. It has some parallels to Maslow and Graves, and includes a few other interesting nuances.

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