Podcast - Episode 0197 - The Path Of Self Acceptance

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• The ego is the part of you that wants to live.
• Ego is your identity – everything that makes up you.
• Ego is the part of you that believes your death is the worst thing that could happen in the universe.
• Watch your ego as a third party observer that sees what you are doing without judgment.
• The Watcher – you will know you are in that space because that space carries zero judgment. It just watches.
• Can you watch the Watcher watch your ego?
• We don’t have to be attached to our ego.
• You can occupy your body and mind and not be attached to your ego.
• Like a hall of mirrors.
• It is difficult to live there, but interesting to exercise the process of releasing attachment to ego.
• It isn’t sustainable to distance yourself from the part that wants to live.
• The hack is to find the times when your ego is flared up and activated fully.
• You have a much easier time to access your ego at that time because it is fully flared up and you are feeling threatened somehow.
• See what is happening and put attention to it.
• Ego flare-up – anytime you get indignant, upset, angry – a powerful emotion that blames something outside of your self or blames yourself.
• Take a step back. Get present. Breathe. Watch yourself getting indignant.
• “That guy cut me off! Does that mean I’m not assertive enough?”
• “Does that make me not masculine enough?”
• “Will my partner see me as flawed?”
• Some things may trigger feelings of inadequacy that you already have.
• Get to a place of curiosity and get out of judgment.
• Why is this triggering me right now?
• Watch yourself do whatever you do.
• No judgment
• Our ego gets flared up because it sees death as the inevitable result of whatever has triggered it.
• Ego is an evolutionary emergent that keeps us alive.
• At one time, we were in hostile territory. We were prey.
• Nowadays, we don’t have those same threats, but the ego continues its job.
• Allergies see benign things as a threat.
• Our bodies feel like they have to be fighting something.
• So, it sees things that are benign as threatening.
• “If nobody accepts me, I will die. I will get kicked out of the tribe, and I will die of exposure or predators.”
• Ego work = calming the ego down and understanding its life is not under threat.
• Very few people have to fight their way through life anymore.
• The more your ego believes that life is a game of survival, the more your ego has you in its grip.
• Use ego as a tool and control it. Stop letting it control you.
• All of us believe that we are very important and that death is coming for us, eventually.
• The challenge is not to let that be the guiding force in our lives.
• Make peace with the understanding that death comes for all of us.
• Being rooted in the moment – in the present – and not fearing the inevitability of death is a leverage point for calming your ego down.
• Ego work requires us to face everything that the ego has been trying to avoid.
• Actively looking at the things that terrify us.
• Turn toward the anger and sit with it.
• You are feeling it, so it is your responsibility.
• It isn’t the fault of whoever triggered you.
• Shut off the urge to blame outwards and keep it inside.
• We push the anger out because we don’t think we can handle it.
• The ego tells us that keeping the anger in may mean death.
• We have no strategies for handling the anger because we don’t think we can.
• Keep it inside.
• Ride the wave.
• The emotional wave will disperse in about 8 minutes.
• After the 8 minutes, go into curiosity mode and ask why the response was so intense.
• Get to a space where you no longer project outwards.
• Become untriggerable.
• Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration Hardcover by Ed Catmull
• Only make rules that apply to everybody
• You can never have the level of control over your environment to prevent triggering events. So you need to do the inner work to handle it when it comes.
• The best you can do is to find inside of yourself the things that make you insecure and not allow them to control you.
• True power is being so rooted in yourself that your ego no longer controls you.
• The goal is not to eradicate the ego from your life. It has a necessary place.
• But it shouldn’t own you.
• The ultimate destination in ego work isn’t transcendence. It is complete and total self-acceptance.
• Acceptance of all those parts of you and loving yourself in spite of them.

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