Podcast - Episode 0202 - Extraverted Feeling vs Introverted Feeling

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• Second in the series of the Judging functions
• The last one was on the Thinking functions
• This one is on the Feeling functions
• All Feelers have a Thinking process that is attached to it which creates a polarity
• Each cognitive function lives in a different “attitude” (extraverted or introverted)
• Extraverted Feeling (Fe) “Harmony” is outwardly focused
• Introverted Feeling (Fi) “Authenticity” is inwardly focused
• Decision-making criteria: what should we be doing as people?
• Feeling decision-making functions make decisions based on the impact on humans.
• Harmony – judging process for all FJs:
  • Interested in creating a harmonious environment.
  • What the group is feeling is more important than the person.
  • Attuned to hierarchy and status of the people in the room.
  • How do people get along? What are the social dynamics?
  • Why are social dynamics so crucial to this type?
  • It’s core foundational desire is to get people’s needs met.
  • Room culture is going to impact every one of us.
  • What is your status?
  • What is everyone else’s status and where do you fit into it?
  • What are the relationships everyone has with everyone else?
  • Who is trying to hide something? Who needs their morale boosted?
  • Harmony users tap into the emotional outpouring of each person and the overall feeling of the room itself.
  • “I don’t know what decision I can make until I tap into the direction the room wants to go.”
  • Is the vibe of the room improving? Or is there a downcycle of energy?
  • The Harmony user will base their decisions on the emotional trajectory of the room.
  • Extraverted Thinkers are very tapped into the end result. They want to know what works. They are always looking for better ways to get the end game accomplished.
  • Extraverted Feeling also has an end game. It wants to make sure people are feeling a sense of simpatico so they can feel it.
  • Getting people’s needs met makes the user feel good.
  • The control of the emotion becomes about setting up a situation or context to create positive emotions.
  • Harmony’s calibration can be hijacked by a tendency to follow the emotional high of a group that may run contrary to the Harmony users personal values.
  • A lot of Harmony users have other Harmony users as friends to keep them accountable.
  • They can also tend to do things that don’t feel good to them but is for the benefit of someone else.
  • The Sacrificial lamb
  • The Harmony user “takes the hit” to keep emotions even-keeled, which is an artificial way of keeping up morale.
  • Extraverted Feeling can take shortcuts to make sure morale stays up.
  • Unsustainable. Nobody can take emotional hits indefinitely.
  • The focus needs to be on authentic, honest, true morale which happens thru conflict resolution, not conflict avoidance.
  • Harmony can only come from conflict resolution.
  • Many of us assume that conflict is negative. But conflict helps us create intimacy.
• Authenticity – Judging process for all FPs:
  • Authenticity is introverted so it is about how info strikes individuals on a very personal level.
  • Authenticity looks at the individual, contrary to Harmony which considers the collective.
  • Authenticity is about personal world impact. Identity. Motivation. What did someone feel that drove them to act a certain way?
  • Who am I? What is my intent?
  • Introverted Thinking (Ti) looks to its own code for corrupted data.
  • Introverted Feeling (Fi) does the same thing but it is less digital.
  • Fi is always scanning itself to see if it is true to itself.
  • We adopt a lot of the values within us from other people.
  • Authenticity users are constantly searching through their motivations to make sure their ideals are theirs.
  • It is such hard work for them to determine their convictions that once they do, they are unwavering.
  • Anytime there is a major shift inside Introverted Feeling it has to reevaluate everything in light of that new awareness.
  • It can be a very slow process because it has to sort through all the nuances and expression.
  • Once Introverted Feeling finds alignment within itself it wants to share what it has found, which is why artistic expression is so important for this type.
  • Just like Ti wants to share pure data, Fi wants to share pure identity – the expression of what one person can be.
  • Any change for Fi is fundamental identity change.
  • This can be challenging. Ego wrenching.
  • Introverted Feeling (Fi) wants pure motive and intent.
  • None of us have truly pure intent.
  • Fi may have a harder job than Ti.
  • Introverted Thinking wants to clean slice things and pull concepts apart.
  • Fi doesn’t have that ability because everything is merged together. You can’t just remove some source code. If you change one thing, everything changes.
  • Like most of us, FPs can become lazy and want the end result without putting in the hard work.
  • If a person doesn’t want to do all the hard work they may just claim what they want, then they can’t reevaluate. Because if they did, they might find some parts of themselves that are wrong.
  • So, they become protective around elements of their personality that are corrupt.
  • They project the feelings that they don’t want to see on the outside world.
  • They don’t want to do the work to uproot it.
  • Or, the Fi user may have been raised in a religious household where they were constantly reminded how horrible they are and deserving of eternal fire.
  • “Am I really as corrupt as all that?”
  • The Fi user may have to completely reevaluate his belief system if he goes inside and searches for the truth.
  • “The more personal something is, the more universal.”
• Just as Extraverted Thinking is more focused on the result and Introverted Thinking is more focused on the process, Extraverted Feeling (Fe) is more focused on the result (keeping up people’s morale) and Introverted Feeling (Fi) is more concerned with the process (How do I make sure I have good intent?).
• Fe and Fi need each other and work together beautifully.
• They represent two very important functions – result and process.
• Birthday Party – The Fe user was concerned with the flow of the room and how everyone interacted. The Fi was more concerned with the emotional freedom of the individual people involved.
• Fe users can think about the individual and Fi users can think about the group, but they will tend toward their strength.
• Fi users in group dynamics create an avatar for the group, a personality they can individuate from the group.
• Fi can get intimidated by a group because there are so many individuals. They tend toward one to one engagement.
• Fe also likes one to one, but they have a wider spread of attention while they stay engaged with everyone else’s needs at the same time.
• Profiler Training
• What is your experience using Extraverted Feeling or Introverted Feeling?

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