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In this episode, Joel and Antonia introduce the “Personality Hacker FIRM Model” and how it helps us understand personality type fixations.
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21 comments
What’s the actual difference between “Invulnerability from being controlled” and "freedom of [x]’?
This was a great podcast. I have definitely seen this model show up in my family members and friends. I strongly resonate with the fixation of the IPs. Hearing you guys talk about IPs’ need for validation, I was almost in tears because of how validating it was just to hear that people who are not IPs understand and honor this need. I feel like I spend so much time trying to explain to people close to me that I just need them to respond to and accept my feelings and ideas and conclusions as valid before putting their own ideas out there or trying to analyze mine. I do often feel exhausted and give up.
Good work!
I can relate to the need of my preferences and values needing to be validated, but I find that I never give up trying to explain myself…and it can be exhausting. I envision myself trying to convince other people of my beliefs, and they ask me pointed questions in return, testing my opinions. When I’m alone, I’ll actually say these things out loud, trying to convince the air around me I guess…
When I bring my beliefs in person to people whose opinions I value, my beliefs often do receive validation. But that’s rarely enough. That voice inside is always there. And I still feel the need to explain myself.
I’m an INFP, and I definitely agree with the ‘giving up trying to explain myself’ piece.
As soon as I heard Antonia say, “If they don’t develop the ability to persuade others..” I immediately thought ‘oh no’, because I have no skill around persuading people (and also lack skill around garnering attention in the first place, i.e. charisma), nor do I really want these types of skills because they feel like manipulation and deceit. However, my thoughts, wants, and dreams are strongly tied to who I am, and if these aren’t understood, then I as a person do not feel understood.
As a result, people often either don’t understand what I am saying or where I am coming from, or they misinterpret these things (and part of that is definitely on me – I often get that ‘this sounded way better in my head..’ feeling).
I really loved this episode! I’m an ENFP, and this episode helped me realize just how focused on freedom I am. I’ve always known that being independent and having freedom was important to me, but listening to this podcast made me realize how often it comes up in my life. It seems to influence just about every decision I make, especially recently.
This was also interesting to me, because my sister is an ISTJ and the invulnerability fixation really makes sense for her and explained a lot of how she thinks and acts. I feel like I understand her a little better now. Thanks for the great episode!