Podcast - Episode 0246 - Romantic Personality Type Pairings — Dichotomies

5 comments

• 

  • Kerry
  • May 14, 2020 at 5:19 pm

  My husband (Intp) and me (Isfp) we definitely have our struggles. We love each other like crazy but then misunderstand each other and disagree so much. He recently told me how sad it makes him that we don’t share interests and that he feels there is an imbalance there because my interests are things he can converse with me on or give me feedback on. My interests are more about interior designing revamping our spaces or about homeschooling our kids or about the new book I’m reading, all things he’s vaguely interested in. His interests are more complicated and they are difficult for me to to get into he likes talking about car mechanics and how things work mostly technical stuff that I have no clue on and I have hard time trying to get interested in. He’s also interested in the universe and talking theories and very what if situations and those kinds of things can be tough for me to get excited about it and I don’t want to pretend that I’m excited about it. I guess I could try to pretend but I feel like I would end up resenting having to do that. Another issue we have faced is my appearance, my weight he has always had these expectations of what I should look like. After I had kids I had some hormone problems that kept me from losing weight and he would be very very pushy about “his needs” me being physically attractive. You should do this or you should do that and on my side I’ve been very resentful of that because he has a fast metabolism he literally doesn’t do a thing to be fit or healthy and in fact refuses to work out unless I say it is an essential need for me not a want. I need for him to feel good and healthy and I do say that but saying I need you to go to the gym or I’m just not ever going to desire you I can’t say that if I don’t mean that. So what do we do that lol it’s so confusing to me.

• 

  • Will Hatcher
  • February 15, 2019 at 9:23 pm

  Following the podcast a lot from the UK and enjoying it. As an ENTP, really starting to perceive areas of growth in transitioning from extroverted feeling to introverted thinking. What’s interesting is that now the tertiary function still makes quite significant demands to have its emotional needs met. I experience it as a gnawing nagging feeling. Normally I would find this intolerable and seek to manage it through external distractions like food or the internet. Making conscious choice to communicate it with partner now. Encountering challenges where occasionally partner is unavailable. It encourages me to develop a stronger social network outside of the relationship so not all bad.

  Partner is INFJ. She’s undergoing some serious grief at the moment. With the stresses of work and managing her pain, she has shut off her auxiliary extroverted feeling when at home and is living in a rational, sensory place. Incredibly helpful to have the PH framework to understand her behaviour, so thank you! With this knowledge I can give her the space she needs while treating her absence compassionately. Similarly, knowing that drawing attention to how I feel a bit abandoned would cause her a lot of distress at the moment so I don’t do it. At the same time, my ten-year-old is demanding to speak and be heard! It’s a challenging place to be. We are newly married and I’m beginning to see how marriages experience their challenges. When one partner needs another but the other simply cannot extend themselves because of circumstance is one example I suppose…

• 

  • Ricko
  • October 14, 2018 at 2:15 am

  I’m an ENFJ, recently fallen in love with an INFJ. Our friends told us were overanalysing our relationship too much; why we like each other, why we are doomed, etc. I figure it has something to do with both being strong Js and feeling that need for control, to figure out all the angles, get all the data. so we probably heightened each others need for that and it resulted in hs getting waaay too far ahead of ourselves in planning the future and making intuitive speculations (especially the INFJ). we have now decided to just chill the hell out about it, hahaha!

• 

  • Phillip Jacobs
  • October 11, 2018 at 12:47 am

  As a loner I mean an introvert when I was ready to explore the world my last partner would freak out when I changed it up and wanted to go hang out with friends. I thought she was hypocritical since she was an extrovert and hung out with the girls three nights a week at the bar. It made me feel guilty at the time but now I know she was being controlling. Which now makes me wonder what she was doing all those nights to make her freak out. I’m working on not being so naive and conflict resolution through assertive communication. And ladies I’m single and in the immortal words of shakria. Whenever, wherever.

• 

  • Rachael
  • October 8, 2018 at 8:57 pm

  Thank you for including more INTP references in this podcast. I know it doesn’t reach many but for those it reaches it means the world.