Podcast - Episode 0264 - The Make Your Mark Myth

12 comments

• 

  • Michael (A.A)
  • December 16, 2019 at 12:36 am

  I actually recommend watching the “Ok, Boomer,” video on the channel Wisecrack for more information.

  List of Things I Feel Pressured About From the Older Generations as a College Gen Z’er.

  1. I have to achieve big things, all the time, absolutely perfectly.
  2. I have to go outside more, while also being told I have to study inside more.
  3. I have to stop using the computer so often, when it actually gives me a better resource on life advice than most adults in my life.
  4. All Gen Z’ers are shallow tech users with no essential opinions, so obviously I shouldn’t speak up.
  5. I have to respect my elders, but I also have to toughen up. Which do you want?
  6. I have to go exercise outside more, while also being told going outside at all is always dangerous.
  7. I have to look down on overuse of tech use, which means I have to look down at my dream job as a software engineer.
  8. I’m not supposed to talk back with my “outside voice,” but older authorities seem to yell all the time.
  9. Older skeptics tell me to be skeptical of everything, except being skeptical of their skepticism. (Ehem, New Atheism / Anti Theist movement. I’m no religious fundamentalist either, but I rather not swing between extremes when there is a lot more sensible spiritual apologists out there outside of conservative Christianity. Look for Actualized.org’s metaphysical types of videos on the website for an example.)
  10. Older traditional people tell me to follow traditions. You didn’t state which traditions though. So I’m just going to create my own traditions and routines to follow on.
  11. Older religious fundamentalists/extremists tell me to be “open-minded”, just not open-minded to views other than their own.
  12. Boomers of the hippie movement tell me I have to work on peacefulness without being angry to protest, but then they get angry at me being angry. Ever heard of the term “constructive criticism” expressed in a respectful way?
  13. Apparently we’re entitled with participation trophies, but it’s the older generations that gave them to us in the first place.
  14. Apparently we shouldn’t use social media at all, even when it’s for close friends or family and discussing meaningful topics in activism or private groups. Not to mention social media allowing the spread of certain protests the fastest.
  15. Apparently watching TV is always a bad thing, even when TV can be full of meaningful messages, compared to badly written books like Twilight.
  16. Apparently we’re called entitled for being activists to rights that we deserved, and are gaslighted as arrogant for having the confidence to do this.
  17. Apparently we’re all irresponsible, even if we have higher education rates, with more unemployment rates.
  18. Apparently we’re judged as “too soft”, when actually the kindness to take issues like mental health seriously isn’t being overly sensitive.
  19. Apparently we’re “special snowflakes,” when in all actuality, we value less traditional free thoughts that are specially different from other points of view, and listen to them.
  20. Apparently millennials tend to overprotect us than Gen X or older generations do, but really, the older young adults and teenagers can think independently now, so take us more seriously. Sometimes your pity is just condescending.

• 

  • S. U.
  • August 26, 2019 at 8:39 pm

  Maybe ego transcendence should come first. Accepting that your life doesnt mean much first settles your restless soul allowing yourself to then fight the battle to have meaning and take the necessary baby steps to get there.
  It would work along with the idea that they tell soldiers in battle. Accepting the fact that you are already dead allows you to function better as a soldier when under fire.

• 

  • Michelle
  • February 25, 2019 at 7:58 pm

  Maybe we just don’t need to do something important and noteworthy period. Maybe it’s wonderful to live life in quiet unremarkable anonymity but we haven’t given ourselves the permission to consider that option. And there are ways to “be” and make a living if you find some enjoyment and meaning in your work. We are connected to each other in mysterious and profound ways. There’s a place for everyone. I was struck by what Joel said about the root of all this being the terror that our lives aren’t meaningful. Well…maybe the more important question — from an INFP standpoint ;) – is whether you lived your life in a way that was meaningful to yourself. Each of us is stardust made conscious for a millisecond in time. Did you enjoy your the ride?

• 

  • Burgundy Morgan
  • February 18, 2019 at 2:34 am

  First, thank you PH for everything you do.

  I think we all want to to live a meaningful life (at least I do!). Yet our cultural conditioning teaches us (1) Have, (2) Do, (3) Be: If we have “x” (such as money), then we can do “Y” (“significant achievements”), and then we will finally Be (happy/fulfilled/joyful/loved/ worthy/significant/fill-in-the-blank!)

  In my experience, the true Gift came when I learned to reverse those steps: (1) Be – (2) Do – (3) Have. It begins with “Being” – …For example, when I embody love/fulfillment/joy/understanding/wisdom FIRST, then that drives what I DO in life, the choices I make, and even the jobs I take (or don’t take). The result is I have an abundant and fulfilled life… and without “grasping” to Have, since the gift was in the Being in the first place.

  This podcast demonstrated what my own experience has taught me: Who we get to Be comes first, and for me, that state of mindful Being gives me beautiful insights and clarity on my relationship with significance, achievement, and self-worth.

• 

  • esotariq
  • February 13, 2019 at 1:49 pm

  Great conversation!! And I wish it would have continued even further.

  The French political scientist, Alexis de Tocqueville, was already worried in the 1830’s that the American promise of meritocracy and equal opportunity would result in excessive ambition, corrosive envy and chronic dissatisfaction. And you guys rightly point out that what he was talking about is made so much worse, and so much more humiliating when social-media renders it ever more transparent and obvious.

  Today, when the slumdog, too, can be a millionaire, and when an individual’s failure to escape the “underclass” is self-evident proof of his/her poor choices, the psychological torment can lead to a kind of mass-psychosis in society. We are our own worst critic and we don’t have anyone to blame but ourselves because we live in a free society where you can do whatever you want.

  Rosseau also saw how people in a society driven by self-interest came to live for the satisfaction of vanity and for a need to secure recognition from others, and to be esteemed by them as much as one esteems oneself. What is the psychological impact on the majority of people when free choice and social media helps us realize that we’re just chum? Is it to vote a “strong-man” into a position of power in order to re-assume the semblance of order?

  De Tocqueville pointed out that people liberated from old hierarchies “want equality in freedom, and, if they cannot get it, they still want it in slavery.”

  I think what you get is Populism. A psychological need for people like Trump, Modi, Erdogan, etc.. It’s a global malaise and quite possible a result of exporting American values, as wonderful as they are, to other parts of the world.

  Sorry, that was all a little political! Notwithstanding, great podcast, and it would have been great to cover some practical tools to manage this exposure to our failure. How do we tone down these people’s tweets, do we get off social media, or do we resort to Shadenfreude? There’s something biologically and culturally ingrained in us – so how do we hack that?