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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about how introverts and extraverts deal with the COVID-19 quarantine brought on by the 2020 coronavirus.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Quarantine is tough on everyone.
- Judgers may be having struggles because the quarantine is throwing them out of their routines.
- Extraverted judging functions aren’t getting the nutrients they need from the external world.
- FJs need regular connection with people
- TJs can usually find projects to do around the house
- FJs can try a virtual happy hour with friends.
- IPs like freedom in the outer world so they can test out ideas and emotions.
- Some Perceivers may feel like they are living Groundhog’s Day
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Leverage point for Introverts quarantined by self:
- Get out of the house and go for walks
- Forest bathing
- Qigong
- Chakra meditation
- Energy platforms
- We don’t know when this quarantine is going to lift.
- EPs need variety, novelty, and freedom of movement
- Get to work on projects that have been languishing
- We are being forced to slow down
- When we don’t have distractions, we have to sit with the life we have made for ourselves.
- If you are quarantined by yourself, you may have emotions coming up that you have managed to distract yourself from until now.
- Old trauma
- Unprocessed emotions
- This quarantine is like an enforced vipassana retreat
- If stuff is coming up for you, this may be a gift
- Look at your life
- What are the leverage points of change?
- Get your priorities in line
- Why do I have this job?
- Why do I hang out with these people?
- This may require some of us to re-evaluate our finances
- How self-indulgent have you been?
- Extraverts trapped with people – the same people – no variety
- Earbuds are important
- Get up early or stay up late to get your alone time.
- Great time to reconnect with your family through group activities
- Someone on Twitter said divorces would likely go up after this
- Try to differentiate between the stress of a relationship that is complete and the stress of the situation.
- What is the source code of the explosion?
- Is it yours? Or are you overwhelmed by the emotions of others?
- Introverts trapped with people may already have coping mechanisms in place
- Isolated with kids can cause problems because a lot of parent’s systems are unavailable
- A lot of introverts may get their alone time on their commute or while their partner is working
- Grace goes a long way
- Apologize when needed
- Don’t be too hard on yourself or others.
- Grace allows us to let things go, and it is healthy for us.
- One of the ways we find connection is through social media
- There’s a lot of negativity in the news and on social media
- Curse: May you live in interesting times
- What are you feeding your mind?
- If you feel overly negative, check what you are feeding yourself.
- The news can dump toxins in us.
- Challenge: Micro gratitude expression
- Post on social media something that you are grateful for
- It will train you to start looking for things you can be thankful for
- It will change the trajectory of online messaging
- Caught in the Act: At dinner, everyone says something good about every member of the family
- One person can offset millions in terms of positive, energetic output
- Be a force for good in the world
- Make it your responsibility to counteract the negative energy around us.
- That means you can’t stay in a bad place.
- What is going on for you?
- What leverage points have you discovered in this experience?
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38 comments
30 year old ENFJ here (and 3w2). Isolating at my ENFJ dad’s place since I’m immuno-compromised and my girlfriend (ENFP who I live with) is a nurse currently working the front lines.
I really resonated with the “slowing down and evaluating how you’re living your life” portion of the episode. I had a major health incident in late 2018 (acute injury to a transplanted kidney), and one of the consequences that came out of that situation was the loss of my job. Another consequence was that my kidney was permanently damaged, and over time my condition has become worse. I’ll likely need another transplant in a few years.
The shame of losing my job combined with the anxiety of potentially starting a new job only for my health to get in the way again put me in rough place, and my coping mechanisms only really served to put a band-aid on wound that needed stitches. I moved into a rental house with my girlfriend, busied myself with projects for/maintenance of the house, adopted a cat, spent as many days and nights as I could hanging with friends, playing games, and just having fun. Basically, I was hitting that Fe/Se loop button as much as I could to stave off the growing phantom of anxiety and low self esteem that was my stressed Ni/Ti. Of course, overall there was much more dead time for me to sit with my thoughts than there was time for me to have fun (I mean my friends had to work), so it’s not like I completely avoided my Ni/Ti. I just felt like I was in a constant state of analysis paralysis (watching paint dry) when I was alone with my thoughts. Just spinning.
When the pandemic hit and I temporarily moved in with my dad, suddenly access to most of these coping mechanisms were denied to me. The low hanging fruit of obligations I had built up (mowing lawn, feeding animals, running errands, cooking, cleaning, etc.) also disappeared. So, like most people, I binged lots of shows and played tons of video games the first few weeks. But, I hit those diminishing returns QUICK. I decided to say screw it and look for a job. I’m a programmer (I know, odd for an ENFJ), so I’m very grateful that there are plenty of places still hiring in tech. I landed a gig very quickly, and I know I was only able to finally make the jump because of the constraints and routine the current situation has placed on me.
Great podcast as always! ENTJ here. I’m working from home for the last 3 weeks or so and having a much better time than I thought previously. Biggest realization was how many events and activities I was participating in just for the fear of missing out. As a result, I’m saving money. I’m a small group person so actually it’s great being able to have virtual Happy Hours anywhere in the country and also being able to get a lot more things done having saved all the commute!
Keep up the good work and stay healthy and safe.
I am an INFJ, male quarantained alone. I want to be grateful for the podcast, because it helped me putting together the many thoughts I literally just got stuck with yesterday.
Generally speaking the whole outside situation really interests me on an economic and social level, yet I am only able to read some article titles each day. No more. I think the anxiety you mentioned is quite real for me. My everyday routine consists of hobby, learning and work activities, all done by myself. I start social contact when I am on an upswing regarding my everydays.
What yesterday happened was a sudden downswing, when most of my activities stopped being interesting for me and my duties got done. Huge emptiness and facing the fact that all I do is just distraction. As if my clothes disappear in a crowd.
What you helped me with was understanding that distraction is not essentially wrong for hiding faults, but rather a necessity. And yesterday all my clothes got ripped down and I faced all my faults at once. And now I think that it is too much I try to hide with distractions and I need to start uncovering them one by one.
I realized that I didn’t provide concrete examples on how to manage emotions as an Fe user who may be going through something similar.
Step one: Find out what you’re feeling. You can gain access to your emotions by listening to music that you think matches what you could be feeling (or consuming some other artistic medium, ex: tv or visual art).
Step two: Verify that the emotions you’re feeling are true to you. If you’re experiencing some sort of catharsis, chances are you’ve tapped into it.
Step three: Find the source. Figure out where these emotions came from. Were they caused by something that happened 5 seconds ago or 5 years ago? Take incremental steps to transition from understanding an event that occured and relating it to an underlying belief.
Step four: Address that underlying belief. Write down on a physical piece of paper what steps you can take to be proactive about these emotions, beliefs, etc. that led to the experience you’re working through.
Step five: Be kind to yourself and others through the process. Realize that hurt people hurt, and to check yourself before you wreck yourself or others.
Another method that works for me as an INFJ is to get into my Sensation (Se) and out of my head (Ni/Ti). Going for a walk or run outside with some variety can help!
Hi Antonia,
Thank you so much for your reply. I think I was being a bit dramatic with the capitalisation of ‘exact’ in the hopes you would be more likely to read it ? It means a lot to get your reply and wise words re defending myself against the collective darkness – I definitely do personalise the feelings and situations I encounter so it is good to be reminded that it’s ok not to take it all on and it’s ok to protect myself. Best wishes x