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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk with guest host Susan Storm about moving beyond your personality stereotypes to express a more healthy version of yourself.
In this podcast you’ll find:
- Join us with guest host Susan Storm of Psychology Junkie.
- Joel shares an example of a stereotypical situation he had with some other ENFPs.
- Why type stereotypes, and projection with ourselves and each other which are unhelpful for growth.
- Susan shares about unhealthy projection onto INFJs in type communities.
- Every type is judged based on a person’s previous experience with that type.
- We lean on our own type as a crutch.
- Susan shares some of her personal experiences.
- When is a problem related to your personality type versus a personal issue?
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How stress, grip reactions, mental illness, anxiety & trauma can cause unhealthy behaviour within a type.
- They won’t look like their type
- Being coddled within type preferences – one sidedness
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More about healthy versus unhealthy behaviours:
- Trauma and stress are unhealthy – we need to heal
- Healthy – tapping into and respecting your functions
- Not doing anything is unhealthy – no self-esteem
- Timeline of healthy type development as we age
- How to develop the other side of your car model? (e.g. ENFPs and Si)
- Recognizing trauma versus maturity
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How can you apply this to your life?
- When you should or shouldn’t give yourself a pass
- Knowing “this behaviour isn’t me”
- Avoid projection onto others
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How can we avoid projection onto others?
- Knowledge of what healthy and unhealthy looks like
- What to do when you have a problem with a certain type? Overcoming negative type-associations: a fun exercise recommendation
- Are your feelings getting in the way of determining someone’s type?
- You can find Susan at psychologyjunkie.com
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7 comments
I love that ENFP brain video with Dario Nardi, and have it bookmarked so I can rewatch any time I want. I have to admit that I probably paused it more than once to get up and do something else. I wanted to add that I’m in my 60s and am retired. I spent almost my entire career having to live in my Si. I did it and did it well, but it was draining. I was horribly burned out by the time they eliminated my entire department. Now that I’m retired, I like bouncing from computer tab to computer tab. I know how to use my inferior function, but I’m enjoying the hell out of just having fun right now.
I think ENxPs who were forced to be bored a lot as children have a major advantage in this.
A
I’m an ENFP who has no problems paying attention to any long-form content. Even more so than my (probably) ISTJ wife. Especially if I find the content interesting. Even if I don’t find it interesting I have years of practice behind me that helps with paying attention to “boring” topics (school, college and church.) In fact, I prefer long form content as it typically has more information to engage with.
Oh, I’m so sorry that’s the read from our podcast. I don’t remember what I said specifically in this episode, but I know how I generally talk about ISTJs, and it’s actually the opposite: My thing with ISTJs is that usually you don’t like me. Or, at least, I have a story around not being liked by ISTJs. My experience has been that ISTJs are highly suspicious of me, don’t find me charming in the least, and are unsure of what someone like me brings that is useful. In a, “What is your malfunction, soldier?” kind of way.
I’m always surprised when an ISTJ is a listener – I assume I turn you all away. So I’m not careful with what I’m saying / how I say it.
Honestly, it’s not condescension, it’s insecurity.
A
I always find it amusing when you speak of ISTJs with a little condescension and express surprise at how you sometimes find one of us that you ‘like’. As an ISTJ I often come across NP types who express the superiority of NP functions like it is fact. However I rarely come across SJs who have the same sense of superiority in their own type or speak of NPs with derision or condescension. In fact, many SJs I know have healthy regard for NP functions, even though N is pretty hard for a hard S like me to comprehend.