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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about the Persona masks that we all wear and how it relates to our ego, shadow, Self, and personality type.


In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Joel and Antonia commemorate 9 years of marriage as they reflect back on the NLP conference where they met, and learned the concept of “be not me”.
  • What does it mean to “be not me” and how does this teach us about the plasticity of the mind?
  • How did the “be not me” message impact Joel and Antonia at the time?
  • Examining the need for behavioural consistency, what this signals to others, and how this relates to ego, persona, shadow and self.
  • The John Beebe 8 function model of personality – how do the 4 shadow functions in John’s model relate to the broader concept of our shadow?
    • Check out our previous episode on John Beebe’s model here.
  • Why type isn’t synonymous with self.
  • How the two introverted judging functions, Authenticity (Fi) and Accuracy (Ti) can be a powerful tool for accessing our internal world.
    • Becoming aware of their tendency towards self-rationalization.
  • How the two extraverted judging functions Harmony (Fe) and Effectiveness (Te) can over identify with their mask.
  • Viewing the persona or mask as scaffolding – what happens when life circumstances cause this to break down?
  • How do the perceiving functions feed into our internal narratives?
  • Linking behavioural consistency to the FIRM model.
    • Check out our podcast episode where we unpack the FIRM model here.
  • How a mask can turn into a caricature – the 2 dimensional way we view politicians and others in the public eye.
  • Why we all need to show a mask to the outside world and how we can develop a healthy awareness of this.
  • Antonia posits a take-away question to ask yourself on this topic.

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  • Antonia Dodge
    • Antonia Dodge
    • November 4, 2021 at 1:26 pm

    I’d refine that to, “…we’re avoiding looking straight at our shadow, hoping our Ego’s rationalizations will save us from having to contend with the glimpses we just caught.”

    For me, the best response has been to keep looking at it without judgement. There’s always time for judgment later (i.e. managing it and its behaviors). I’ve always felt the tough part is to truly see it in the first place, and so that’s the first domino that needs to be knocked down.

    Thanks for the comment!


  • Elizabeth
    • Elizabeth
    • November 3, 2021 at 7:46 pm

    One of the things I’m taking away from this is when we start to rationalize our bad behavior, we’re looking straight at our shadow self. At this point, maybe take a step back and think about that behavior, why it’s there, and how it relates to our non-shadow self?

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