INFP Personality Type Interview (with Dana Jacobson) | Podcast 0426

18 comments

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  • Lisa Michelle
  • March 15, 2022 at 4:51 pm

  I am an INFP. My story is rather unconventional for INFPs. I have been a lawyer for 35 years. I have been employed by two law firms during that time, the most recent for over 25 years. I have represented one client, a water and power utility, for the majority of my 35 years of practice. I’m the oldest child in my family, and hard work and striving for excellence were heavily emphasized values growing up. I understand well the struggle that Dana shared, as a young person and into adulthood, hearing the voice in my head telling me what I should do, what was the practical or “best” thing to do, always picking the most challenging path, even if it was not the path I was most inspired by.

  I have an undergraduate degree in human development and counseling. I am a very good lawyer. I have three children. I have lived most of my adult life as a single person. As an adult, captaining my own ship and having many responsibilities, I have struggled with two competing voices in my head. One telling me what I had to do, and one trying to get my attention, telling me what I truly cared about doing. What consumed me, not with guilt because I should do it but am not crazy about doing it, but instead with joy and a oneness with the subject matter because this truly is “me”. When we do not listen to that voice that is calling out to us, it does not go away. Over the years, I found that the conventional tasks became more wearisome. I still found fulfillment in them, but it took more and more effort for me to do them. At the same time, I have used my introverted feeling skills (fueled by extroverted intuition) to help people in crucial ways. I have been a source of strength for family members and friends. My stable lifestyle has been an anchor for them. But I also have the yearning to simplify. To just be, just live in a way that makes me happy. I still have one young adult child living at home and going to school. I have lived much of my life in the “responsible” way, but in the next few years, I see a chance to make some changes. There is both joy and a little bit of fear that come with that realization. I can relate to the feelings Dana shared about her life decisions. All these years of listening to extraverted thinking and introverted sensation, pushing down as “selfish” or impractical the desires I have. But almost without me pursuing them, I can see the horizon opening up.

  Recently, I was asked to participate in a training program at my church to become a lay minister, to help others in times of deep difficulty, illness, bereavement or other crises. I began the training and was amazing at how at home I felt with the subject matter. The discussions energized me and I felt drawn to this role. As an attorney, I have always enjoyed making a difference, providing wise counsel and using my writing skills to be persuasive. But this is different. We are seeing people at their most vulnerable. There is a common human element that we all share when times are tough. I am not afraid of that. In fact, I move towards people on those difficult moments, because they are real. In doing that, I am changed and become a better person. I will keep looking outward and I believe the path forward will become brighter. I’m not sorry I have taken the path I did, because it gave me some strengths I would not have possessed. I am a very resilient person. But it is okay, and a good thing for the world, for me to do what I want to do.

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  • Ryan INFP
  • March 15, 2022 at 11:46 am

  Wow! Thank you, Dana, for sharing some of your experiences as an INFP. So much of what you said resonates with me. Its as if you were verbalized my own feelings. Your advice for your 15 year old self is exactly what I needed to hear at that age as well. I was going to almost write the same thing even the WOW weird. The thing is at the start she said about standing there looking like she is doing nothing and then putting everything in to place and it looks amazing this is what i do empty fields into gardens try to make houses look better also practical all in my head no plans i have had to become my own boss as well to become an INFP school was shit.. Also yeah depression hit me hard for 3 years or so when my grandad died and he left me is business the responsibility and the lack of understanding from others was hard to take huge random heart beats anxiety they say. I dealt with it myself but my advantage was i knew why it was happening its a funny thing to feel so bad and know why and it does not change. I believe future planning sense of purpose and setting life up to how you want to live. Do all INFPs think things and it happens?

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  • Andrea
  • March 15, 2022 at 12:53 am

  Wow! Thank you, Dana, for sharing some of your experiences as an INFP. So much of what you said resonates with me. Its as if you were verbalized my own feelings. Your advice for your 15 year old self is exactly what I needed to hear at that age as well. I grew up in a household where doing the right thing and the socially expected thing was tantamount. I wanted to be a ballet dancer. I had the talent. But I was told that I would be wasting my intelligence and making a selfish decision because dancers don’t help people in their job and can’t support a family. Then I said I wanted to study psychology. My parents didn’t think that was acceptable either. Then I wanted to get a doctoral degree in ecological parasitology and that wasn’t allowed. So I went to medical school. When I told my parents I didn’t want to go to medical school and my reasoning was that it didn’t feel right, I was told that wasn’t a logical reason. So I stuffed my own desires down and did my duty while trying to convince myself I was doing what I liked. I suppressed my authenticity to such a degree that I was nervous when we had ice breakers in class and we had to share our favorite band or favorite color. I didn’t know the answer.
  Eventually it caught up with me. I even picked my 2nd preferred specialty because I was discouraged against choosing psychiatry because I was told I would be wasting my medical school degree. 5 years after completing residency I ended up in a psychiatry ward as a patient for severe depression and suicidality as a result of essentially mourning the loss of my own self and my own authenticity. It took months of guided self evaluation to understand what was happening.
  I can’t thank you enough for sharing your story and particularly your experience with depression as it relates to your type.