Create a side-by-side map of each other's personalities
This home-study course guides you through mapping your relationship. You can map with your partner or it's just as valuable to do on your own.
Start Mapping Your Relationship
Every day we get emails and questions from couples hoping personality systems will help them understand their partner and be understood.
Relationship problems are normal. And for good reason! There's no 'couples school' we are all required to take. If you're having trouble communicating or 'getting' where your partner is coming from... well, you're in good company. MOST of us struggle in our relationships.
Communication barriers and misunderstandings can lead to one fight after another. Pretty soon, trust erodes and you no longer feel like a team.
"Communication is always a big challenge - I'm constantly surprised at how often we miss the mark with each other because we each think we are being clear when it turns out we haven't gotten through to each other, even about everyday things like who's doing what today."
"Open honest communication about daily life challenges. Expressing our true emotions with each other. Speaking over, under, and around each other."
"Our 3 biggest problems: 1) My extroversion to his introversion; 2) My quick decision making vs his endless possibilities and research; 3) My emotional need vs his logical need"
"Sometimes we struggle to find things to do together that we both enjoy. Spontaneity can make me uncomfortable, as I appreciate a plan. My husband enjoys doing crazy things spur of the moment."
"If I could wave a magic wand in my relationship to solve my relationship issues what would I wish for? One word: Trust."
"One, not being vulnerable enough to make a connection and two, feeling like I can't get too attached."
"Being able to divide chores and get them done without getting mad at my husband for not doing them."
"Simple day to day operation of the house - running of the household is something neither of us want to do. We do it, because we have to."
"Recently we've started to have a disagreement simply about talking about each other's day."
"I [feel] attacked when I am actually just responding to how I see a situation. I have felt invalidated often and tried to discuss this behavior and their answer is, 'let's just drop this.'"
...then you are a normal couple. Relationships are hard for everyone.
Relationships are a pairing of two complicated human beings with their own beliefs, imprints and behaviors. Partnership takes both self-knowledge AND other-knowledge.
Learn How to Make It EasierTransform your relationship from defensiveness, fighting and isolation to understanding, friendship and trust.
A Couples Map is a side-by-side comparison of the deeper aspects of your personality types. You will learn how your mind is wired and how your partner's mind is wired to:
There Are Patterns to How People Think. No one fits into a tidy little box. But there are patterns to how we think, feel, observe and process information. Personality patterns give language to both strengths and blindspots.
In a relationship, it can be easy to see our partner's weaknesses and focus on them. Personality theory inoculates us against this tendency. We can't help but be reminded of all the good things we fell in love with in the first place!
The dichotomies are a "20,000 foot view" of needs and preferences. These are simple, but accessible, ways to understand each partner's needs and attributes.
A much deeper, richer look at how our minds are wired. Cognitive functions dive into the key ways each partner perceives the world and makes decisions.
How your mind is wired directly affects your values and behavior.
Most people don't know they need permission to be themselves until they get it - usually through difficult personal growth work.
The FIRM Model describes behaviors and preferences that are born inside of us as we fight for the right to be ourselves. Depending upon your personality type, your FIRM fixation will be one of these four:
To simplify Cognitive Function theory, we place each of your preferences in The Car Model, an easy to understand metaphor that highlights you and your partner's greatest strengths... and biggest blindspots.
In this model we see which aspects of the personality need:
If you work with couples professionally, Couples Mapping provides a structured framework that accelerates breakthroughs and gives your clients a shared language for understanding each other.
Add a powerful diagnostic tool to your practice. Couples Mapping helps you quickly identify the root patterns behind recurring conflicts, giving you and your clients a roadmap for targeted therapeutic work.
Give your clients a concrete framework they can reference between sessions. The personality models provide actionable insights that translate into immediate behavior changes and communication improvements.
Bring a neutral, structured lens to charged conversations. Mapping both parties' wiring depersonalizes the conflict, lowers defensiveness, and helps each side hear what the other is actually saying.
Whether you're a pastor, counselor, or trusted mentor, Couples Mapping gives you a shared language for the couples who come to you, and a repeatable process you can walk them through with confidence.
Relationship coach Brian Kelly shares live feedback on how he uses Couples Mapping with his clients, and the real impact it has had on their relationships.
Couples Mapping with relationship clients — Brian Kelly
"We utilized Couples Mapping lessons to navigate through the challenges in our relationship. However, our communication and feelings of 'being understood' really vaulted to the next level when - through Personality Hacker's profiling system - we learned I'm actually an ENTJ, and he's an ESTP."
"Revisiting the principles of Couples Mapping through the lens of our newly-discovered types has been such a lightbulb moment for our relationship. The lessons we have learned through type have strengthened my husband's and my relationship exponentially."
"More than anything else, I think we are better able to understand where the other is coming from and to understand how our different ways of processing the world can lead to unnecessary conflict unless we approach them with intention. Most importantly, I think we have both learned to give each other grace - and to acknowledge the unique gifts we each bring to the relationship."
To bridge the gap of our greatest misunderstandings, we must know the basics of how our minds tick.
The very same things that annoy us are what enrapture us! Learn how to reclaim the attraction you had in the beginning.
Are you missing your partner's attempts to reach you? Find out if you speak different connection and intimacy "languages."
Co-create a vision for the future by standing by each other's wants, needs and requirements.
Relationship expert Bruce Muzik teaches Attachment Theory and how it impacts every inch of your relationship.
Find practical suggestions and important prompts to optimize your Couples Map, have crucial conversations and take action.
We know this program will guide you to a rewarding relationship built on gratitude and understanding.
And because we're so convinced of this, try "Couples Mapping" for a full 30-days. If you don't like it for any reason, email us at info@personalityhacker.com. Write "My refund, please!" in the subject line... We'll give you ALL of your money back. No questions asked. No strings attached. Every dime.
We feel confident giving you this guarantee because we respect you. And we trust you.
You can map with your partner or it's just as valuable to do on your own.
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