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In this episode Joel and Antonia talk with their friend Dan about his personal development journey thought the lens of Personality Types.
In this podcast on personality types and relationships you’ll find:
- Personality psychology is a very interesting and intriguing system for most people. When applied to one’s personality development, it takes on its most powerful form. It becomes a very helpful tool in improving business, communication and relationships.
- Dan gives an overview on his journey in understanding and using Personality psychology in his own personal development.
- Sometimes too much familiarity with what is known and reliable creates an unhealthy comfort zone. It traps us in the same situations and limits us to see other options in life that we can choose from to become happy.
- Whenever we are going through a rough time in life and feel that nothing works, we start to reassess things.
- Personality typology can be used as a map to start exploring new things.
- Pain becomes overwhelming when there is nothing or no one to guide, help or understand. For some, there might be a point when they plan on killing themselves and even if it is not physical, a part of them dies because they can’t be their authentic self.
- Re-evaluation is not always the way. If you are sincere in your belief and you are happy, keep doing it.
- There is an impression that if you are not fitting in, something is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you or on the system. There is just a mismatch and a key to moving forward is to understand what motivates you and what doesn’t.
- The heart and soul of personality hacker is all about using Personality typology for personal growth.
- Different things make different people happy. Personality hacker gives an understanding on how to create unique and individualized happiness to every personality type.
- Pursuing happiness is never wrong but doing it leads people to think that they are selfish since along the process, they hurt and drive away the people around them. Personality development is prevented because of this fear of being lonely.
- Living authentically to yourself by having your needs met makes you a productive person.
- It allows you to give more to people in your life since you already have something to give. Giving permission to be yourself in turn gives permission for others around you to be themselves.
Exercises we recommend in this podcast:
- Spend time to explore opportunities. Grab whatever is available that helps. Start out small. Getting out of your comfort zone will give you an idea on the direction you want to go in life.
- Ask yourself what you want to tell yourself five years from now?
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11 comments
If I can say something to my younger self, I will say “don’t be so goofy and assume more responsibility”.
And I will answer that responsibilities will make me crush my dreaming side.
Turns out, it did.
Thank you for this podcast. It hit me in the gut and I listened to it with tears streaming down my face. It resonated with me (I test as either an INFP or INFJ, with P and J typically pretty close), and I have both done the “death by atrophy” (thanks Antonia for that description) and the active thinking about putting my affairs in order and opting out. Fortunately, I started to instinctively do many of the things Dan described (making sure to interact with others, new experiences, and so on) as a way to help myself. and it’s nice to get reinforcement that tells me my gut instinct was on the right track.
I still have a LONG way to go on this personal growth journey, but the validation of hearing from others that it’s OK (and in fact GOOD) to want to be happy, that I need to make my own decisions even if they go against the status quo (or, in my case parental expectations), and that my gut instincts for what I needed to do were right all along, are invaluable.
Keep up the great work!
I am glad you did a podcast with a guest talking about their own journey of personal growth. I find a lot of encouragement in this podcast and sure others have to.
Thanks guys and Dan
Hey, Jon! Thanks for the comment.
Dan is an INFP, not an ENFP, so his 3 year old (or, inferior process) would be “Effectiveness,” aka Te and “Memory” would be his 10 Yr old (or, Si tertiary).
Thanks for the link! I’d argue there are approximately 7 billion examples of people going to their 10 Yr Olds and 3 Yr Olds in times of stress. ;)
A
Hello, I’ve just discovered your podcast and I’m working my way through them all. Great work guys. This episode Dan said that memory was his 10 year old where the car model says that it’s
For the ENFP, Si (Memory) is the inferior function (3 year old). It is common for us to find that in periods of stress, where for some reason our psyche decides that our dominant function (driver) isn’t cutting it. This leaves the underdeveloped inferior function to dominate. This is allegoric to the 3 year old jumping in the driver’s seat and driving the car after the car ran off the road and knocked out the other three occupants. It is called the “Inferior Eruption” (google it).
This is common in mythology and marvel comics, be it the ISJ’s chicken-little / hydra experience, or the ITP’s incredible hulk outbursts.
It is healthy for the 3 year old and the 10 year old to drive the car, and it’s in a toy car under supervision of the dominant functions. That is, we often find great peace and fulfilment in leisure activities that exercise our child functions.
Also there is the “Inferior Grip” (google that too), where the driver becomes obsessed about appeasing the 3 year old screaming in the back seat. Totally ignoring the sound guidance of the co-pilot. The is no strategy or sound objective to the 3 year old’s demands, and often either gets us lost or driven into a ditch.
The web is full of examples of both. This page I found very handy:
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/135-MBTI-Form-of-the-Inferior-Functions
Regards
Jon.