Podcast – Episode 0205 – Imposter Syndrome

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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about imposter syndrome and how it stops all of us from doing big things in the world.

 

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Lies My Teacher Told Me
  • We whitewash history and the characters – 2-dimensional people.
  • Like the tale of George Washington and the cherry tree.
  • We are complex human beings. Filled with good and bad.
  • We have a whole spectrum of human emotion and potential.
  • We see our imperfections as glaring comparisons to our whitewashed heroes.
  • When we try to reach out for something big we see ourselves as imposters.
  • Our current climate in the U.S. isn’t making this any easier.
  • If someone has made a mistake in the distant past, they are being annihilated and their careers ruined.
  • Villains don’t have any complexity either. They are all bad.
  • We whitewash the heroes and blackwash the villains.
  • If we see things in this 2D way, we hand ourselves over to the authority. “I was just following orders.”
  • None of us will default to the good action all the time.
  • We do ourselves a disservice when we don’t realize that good people make bad choices sometimes. And vice versa.
  • Skeletons in the closet don’t mean you don’t deserve to be in a place of leadership.
  • We should want our leaders to be flawed.
  • Or we tell ourselves that we have to be flawless from this point forward or our current credibility is going to be called into question.
  • Anytime somebody has predatory behavior and is unremorseful about it, that is a different conversation.
  • If you are a predator, you are an imposter. Wolves in sheep’s clothing.
  • Zero sum game – more interested in themselves being the winner and everyone else the loser.
  • Shifting morals and our tendency to make mistakes can keep many people from playing a bigger game.
  • Imposter syndrome can be defined in different ways.
  • It is basically when someone is qualified to do something but fears they aren’t qualified.
  • If you fear your ability to lead yourself or others, you hand yourself over to others leadership.
  • What makes you think they aren’t the imposters? Maybe they are just better at faking it than you are.
  • Sometimes other people don’t cut us any slack, so we start feeling insecure about our qualifications.
  • As technology allows us to step into new forms of leadership, it is becoming more imperative that we deal with this with bravery, sovereignty, and the awareness that our intentions are good.
  • The ones who seem to be the best at dismissing feedback may be dehumanizing the deliverers, which doesn’t serve them in the long term.
  • Somebody else equally unqualified is going to be out there.
  • We might as well fill the vacuum with our thoughts.
  • If you are struggling with imposter syndrome, you are the only person that can conquer this.
  • The outside world is not going to give you the rubber stamp that you are qualified.
  • You are the boardroom with the rubber stamp.
  • The more ego work you do, the more you accept the missiles from critics and realize it doesn’t have anything to do with you.
  • Be brave and do it anyway.
  • What are your experiences with imposter syndrome?

In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about imposter syndrome and how it stops all of us from doing big things in the world. #podcast #impostersyndrome #personaldevelopment

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Showing 9 comments
  • Tariq Khan
    Reply

    “Do not give up the world to those one despises.” – Frank O’Connor to his wife Ayn Rand and used in a context when she was feeling discouraged.

  • Anne Marie Jackson
    Reply

    Loved this episode. That is why I love reading about Biblical characters such as King David who was call a man after God’s heart but look at his mistakes. He stole someone’s wife and knocked her up. Then basically had him killed. Then realized his brokenness and submitted to the Lord.

  • Ash V. O.
    Reply

    This is *exactly* what I needed to hear today. Especially re: feedback, leaving a leadership void, and having compassion. Thank you!

  • Desiree (INTJ)
    Reply

    Thank you for this podcast! Two parts really resonated (thanks, Joel, I liked your comment that it’s about what resonates): 1) when Antonia talked about feedback drawing fire, and that it’s not personal—we’re delivering a service; and 2) when Antonia talked about a vacuum and that we might as well fill it because if we don’t, someone else (just as/less qualified) will.

    After more than ten years I just finished a memoir and was sailing along, encouraged, until I asked for some feedback from family (on my experience…?! Self-sabotage?). I felt terrible, and like a bad person… and I should just drop this project, and why can’t I just be happy anyway?! Then this podcast dropped out of the sky. I think the podcast and those points in particular helped me place the feedback and reminded me (gave me permission?) that it’s okay to pursue this. Thank you!

  • Beth
    Reply

    I find that I see the imposters around me and they’ve got everyone fooled, when I try to make it clear what they are doing, I become the bad guy. They are the one accepted and I don’t know how to move forward against that. It happens again and again – caught in that vicious loop. I find myself looking to be helpful, trying to reach out and make a difference and it happens again. I’m in that situation again, right now, and I’m stepping back and thinking, “Ok, this is what I see and when I spoke up these people in authority didn’t want to hear and they, in fact, went behind everyone’s backs and did what they wanted anyway. In fact, I was told that I had an “attitude” that I needed to fix. – – – Why am I bothering again?”

  • ACM
    Reply

    I really needed to hear this today. I’ve been struggling with this and close to giving up. Thank you for the positive message to keep going.

  • Amy Francis
    Reply

    Thanks, this was a great reminder. It’s crazily easy for me to forget that other people are not bulletproof and have parts of themselves they’re not proud of, but realizing it levels the playing field a little more. You guys are awesome!

  • Fleur
    Reply

    I might have a clue of why we tend to think other people are not impostors.
    Maybe it is very comfortable to hand in responsibility to someone else and then criticising them for their mistakes. That way we don’t have to deal with our weaknesses. So we unconsciously believe that we are not made for the job.

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