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PHQ | QUESTIONS FROM COMMUNITY: In this episode, Joel and Antonia answer a question about setting boundaries as an ENFJ.
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13 comments
Thanks Tamagochi for sharing. Good thoughts.
I would be cautious to agree with your statement, “it’s often hard for them to … come up with sound logical decisions when one is required.”
I think I understand what you are saying – but it may sound like you are saying ENFJs aren’t as intelligent.
How I interpret what you mean is that ENFJs can sometimes default to making the socially expedient decision.
I feel like that nuance honors the intellect that ENFJs naturally have and points out the need to avoid social shortcuts.
As an ENFJ, this episode hit spot-on with a lot of my current issues. I can’t even count the number of times lately that I’ve confided to a close friend that I am craving depth and meaning and it was wonderful to feel validated through this episode with my current feelings and also with the suggestions on how to improve the quality of my relationships by training myself to try and delve deeper. Thanks again for another great (and very helpful) episode!
Another quality episode from you guys, thumbs up ;)
My own encounters with this type had been certainly interesting, to say the least. First of all, I have often felt somewhat inferior around them. Because, just look at them – they have a ton of friends and potential lovers, are able to handle any social situation with grace and ease, can quickly gain status and influence. For most people it’s a dream came through.
And then out of the blue she comes and confides that she felt lonely today and don’t have close friends. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT was my reaction :) Gradually I have come to know this darker, lonelier part of ENFJs. That it’s often hard for them to find meaningful connections or come up with sound logical decisions when one is required. Tendency to over-rely on Fe leads to superficiality and inability to see pitfalls in the road. Your recommendation to deepen the intuition is spot on.
One time I was talking with my close ENFJ friend about meaning of life in general. My opinion was, that most value comes from the unseen things in life, like you can find the most beautiful pearls at the bottom of the sea. To which she replied: no, there is value and beauty all around us, just under our feet if we care to look, and you don’t need to look for it that deep. Years later I have learned of MBTI and this one line defines ENFJ quite well in my opinion.