- by Personality Hacker
Personality Types You Hate | Podcast 554
- by Personality Hacker
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On this episode of the Personality Hacker podcast, Joel and Antonia discuss the principles and techniques for dealing with the personality types that challenge us the most.
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On this episode of the Personality Hacker podcast, Joel and Antonia discuss the principles and techniques for dealing with the personality types that challenge us the most.
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3 comments
Jessica, you described my experience with INFJs as well. They give me the vibe that there is always an unspoken social hierarchy at play. It really is our opposing functions clashing. I want to find truth and excellence for the sake of internal growth regardless of how it looks to other people but they set group harmony and outward measures of success as their primary goal.
Hey Joel & Antonia- I am an INFP who hates INFJs (and some ENFJs)… NFJ’s in general are a challenge for me.
I have had the misfortune to have known 4 unhealthy NFJ’s (3 were INFJs) so I guess it’s possible that my opinion has been tainted. The result of these experiences is that I think it’s more common for INFJs to be unhealthy because they’re so divorced from reality, practicality, and sensibility that once they start going down the wrong road in life they REALLY get lost.
Additionally, I’ve had to work on creative projects with healthy INFJs and I still really don’t vibe with their thought process. I find that they’re a bunch of little miss perfects who refuse to remain open to new discoveries as revelations come up on a project. I was doing qualitative research with one INFJ and she decided on day one that EVERYTHING we would discover would fall into TWO stupid categories and there was no room for honest discovery as we moved though our findings. Also- I couldn’t stand that while we were synthesizing our research every time we reached a conclusion about something their eyes kept looking to whoever was senior in the room looking for approval so that we could ensure our project was as “group thinkey” as possible. I felt so stifled by their adherence to whatever predetermined conclusion they wanted to push for before we ever got started. Also- I felt perpetually judged by them for acting natural in general and being a happy go lucky person. But felt like they hated that I didn’t monitor myself as much as they did but still had a lot of charisma that drew many in and made them feel great around me due to my self deprication, lack of defensiveness, lack of judgement of others, humor and warmth. They liked those qualities in me but judge me for not putting more of a “perfect little lady” persona. I didn’t like it.
It goes without saying that I’m one of those people who has no patience or use for FE (unless it’s the more practical FE of SFJ’s but only if they’re healthy… I can hang out with SFJ’s all day and do sometimes).When it comes to INFJs however- it always feels like we should hit it off but we don’t.
As an INFP the types I struggle with are ESTPs and ESTJs but I do have friends and relatives that I like who are those types as well. It also depends on the setting. Work environments with those types are the real struggle while social activities are usually fine. What I’ve come to realize is that core values, worldviews, and beliefs are far more important to compatibility than MBTI type. I love ESTJs and ESTPs who share my worldview and have my back in a social setting. Conversely there are INFJs and ESFJs that are philosophically opposed to me and they make my skin crawl when I’m around them. Weaponized Fe can be ten times more dangerous than the blunt ESTXs. Unhealthy Fe has the power to banish you from lifelong social circles before you’re even aware you’re in a conflict. That being said, I understand healthy Fe is what created those foundational social circles in the first place.
My last thought is that while I can be friends and enjoy the company of ESTJs and ESTPs I know there is a level of depth I can’t go to with them. ESTXs on average don’t have enough Fi to explore the dark places of humanity or to acknowledge the complexity and pain of moral issues. There’s also a materialistic ambition that high Te users and ESTPs have that make it hard for me to connect with them. I appreciate their ambition because they create many of the structures that make life comfortable but I just don’t have that drive. Once I attain enough to be free and secure I have to be still and drink in the simple pleasures of life. I’m all about having a purpose and creating, but wealth and status for their own sakes is not something I seek. So there tends to be a tension in friendship with these types where we judge each other or I withhold my true views to keep the peace.