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In this episode, Joel and Antonia talk about making scary changes in your life when you are ready to “scale up” in personal development.

In this podcast you’ll find:

  • Talking about ‘scale up’ moments, which are scary even if we know it would be good for us.
  • The character Neo in the move “The Matrix” is a great example of letting go of others expectations and scaling up by resting into his own sense of integrity.
  • We face moments when we realize ‘what got us here won’t get us there’.
  • Transitions aren’t just scary, they’re also painful.
  • Based on ancient programming, a part of us fears that if we fail after the transition we’ll literally die.
  • The scariest part isn’t the transition; it’s the initial decision of making big change.
  • The transition is usually more frustration and painful. You have to pick up new skills and one learns things about themselves that may not be flattering.
  • When we finish the process, we almost always look back and say “That wasn’t so bad.”
  • A helpful model is the HAT model – Healing, Achievement and Transcendence.
  • When we’re scaling up, we’re putting more pressure through the ‘pipe’ and more cracks are exposed. We mistake this new self-understanding with a belief that we’re broken and not ready for the next level.
  • Going through the transition is what exposed the cracks in the first place, so it’s all a healthy part of the process.
  • Once you get to the next ‘vine’ you feel so accomplished.
  • It’s easy to blame outside circumstances to mask the fear of scaling up, or to believe that no one will help you during the process.
  • Alternatively, it’s healthier to see oneself as responsible for transitions and also find mentors and coaches to help during the process.
  • It takes balls and determination and persistence to make big changes in life.
  • Some have the problem of being in transition too much and have trouble sticking with just one thing, which can be its own challenge.
  • Having the strength often comes by doing the thing you’re madly in love with doing.
  • It’s important to really know what you want, and avoid ‘counterfeit’ desires.
  • Some people end up in ‘satellite’ careers – something close to their heart’s desire, but one step removed.
  • Surrounding yourself with people who are already where you want to go helps you get to your end game faster, and proves it can be done with ‘dying’.
  • It’s also important not to mistake lateral change with vertical growth.
  • Being able to make big transitions is the first step toward playing a Bigger Game.
  • Familiarity can keep one in bad, sometimes dangerous, situations.
  • All growth happens out of our comfort zone, so comfort isn’t always our friend.

Exercises we recommend in this podcast:

Spend time every day writing 3 pages of ‘stream of consciousness’ writing to mine your mind for what you truly want.

Things we reference in this podcast:

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We want to hear from you. Leave your comments below… яндекс


  • Matt
    • Matt
    • February 13, 2018 at 1:27 am

    Halfway through as I’m starting this comment. I have an amazing self-made family. We’ve created in each other a rather efficient hive-mind. I work laterally a lot and feel like I’m on the same level for a long time but what I’m really doing is spiraling to form a cone as I hone it upward VERY slowly. It’s not as efficient as I would like, but by combining the impetus from my circle to move upward together with my own snail-in-molasses-in-January pace it tends to make sure we can all work up together. “We lift ourselves by lifting each other.”

  • Stef Whitlow
    • Stef Whitlow
    • May 17, 2015 at 1:01 pm

    Just discovered your site and podcasts a few weeks ago and LOVE THEM! I started with the first one and am working my way through. This particular podcast resonated with me! I am a “transition junky” and it was so wonderful to put a name to it as well as to hear that there were others out there who were unafraid of, even thrived from, change. Thanks so much for presenting this fascinating information to the world. I’ll keep listening!

  • Charis
    • Charis
    • May 12, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    How did we all watch the Matrix 15 years ago and still not figure out we were part of the Matrix?!

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