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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
do male infj has more tendencies on shutting down their harmony side. as i know male emotion is locacated on a speciifiic place while female emotion are located everywhere.
Thanks Aelirik! Happy New Year to you!! :)
I’m so glad I stumbled across this podcast going into the new year. A brilliant insightful view into my mind! Thank you both so much.
One of my “psychic” abilities has been to predict where someone may be or when I can expect them to arrive somewhere based on traffic patterns, the person driving, the weather, situation, etc. Just when I’m about to call them to ask where they are because it has been almost a minute longer than predicted, they show up! Or when I call someone and ask/tell them what they are doing based on how I know how that person lives their life. It’s a very bizarre thing but the less I question it, the more accurate I am. :)
Thank you for such a great podcast . I have recently discovered that I am an INFJ, however I have some difficulties to come into terms with it . In fact I’m doing all I can to prove myself that I am not an INFJ ( I completed a few different tests online only to receive the same result ) . My biggest problem is understanding and accepting the intuition part of this personality type . Since this is something I have been born with I don’t know how does it feel or how does ones life work without it . I certainly don’t feel as if I am any better than anybody else or that I am a mystical person ( I don’t believe in mysticism I prefer scientific proof ) but I know that very often I feel like I know things or understand connections and meanings that other people don’t see and it is frustrating . Sometimes I used to get angry with myself explaining this ability to myself as being too intelligent but I know I am not too intelligent so I had no explanation . Well until I read a lot about INFJs and it all started to make more sense.
But as I say since this is a natural ability since birth I cannot imagine being any different .
As for the Fe ability I certainly understand others better than myself but unless they have a one to one deep conversation with me , they don’t know this and therefore I don’t experience strangers pouring their heart to me but I do get my friends telling me that I should be a counsellor .
Personally I like to keep my private life to myself and therefore when I am with a friend and they ask me how I am I usually just say I’m all good nothing interesting but how about you, what’s new , tell me everything … and that’s how I prefer the conversation to flow .
Revealing too much of myself makes me feel too exposed and uncomfortable , plus I get usually muddled up as I don’t know how to explain myself and don’t really understand my own feelings .
The biggest challenge so far for me is to clearly define what is my intuition and what is just s nasty work of my anxiety . As somebody who is a natural worrier it is hard to separate these two from each other .
For example let’s say that I am somebody who is a very nervous flyer . I could have a “gut feeling” that there is something wrong with the plane and we are not going to make the flight . Due to high level of anxiety this is clearly not an actual intuition , and of course I am fully aware of that , it is my own mind playing tricks on me because of my nervousness .
This is where I see the biggest problem , the anxiety taught me not to trust my own gut feelings but since the intuition is my strongest ability it has made me very unsure of myself .
So this where I struggle the most and why I wish I wasn’t an INFJ . Discovering that I am an INFJ explained a lot to me about myself , I believe it’s a revolutionary discovery for me but at the same time it has made me feel very uneasy and even more unsure about myself .
I would definitely like to learn more and find out about some useful techniques on how to get out the best of my myself .