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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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306 comments
Hi,
I just wanted to say thank you so much for this.
I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it. Until I heard it.
I can relate to that. Recently, I discovered this technique called Kaizen, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaizen for a starting point (tip of the iceberg).
I’ve discovered a little over two years ago that I am an infj. All my life I thought I am so different from my family and others. I don’t act like them I don’t think like them. I don’t fit into a category the rest of them fit into. I went through life trying to find out who exactly I am. Being born in the very conservative Pentecostal right wing Republican family and being a liberal gay male is not easy. Then throw in the INFJ side of things and it’s even harder. It took me a while to break free what was expected of me and live my own life. I retired from a long very successful career as a primary grade teacher. My friends are good and they always asked for advice. I always had strangers come up to me and tell me things that I would never admit to anyone. I didn’t understand it at first. A little less than two years ago I had a major stroke. I was paralyzed in half my body. But despite that my soul kept telling me you will get better and you will be an even better person. I did get better and I’m walking and talking and back to physically where I was before the stroke. Well I am a very different person now. At 65 I now realize who I am. Knowing that I am an infj person made all the pieces fall in place. And being a male and a gay male made me even more of a minority. The almost 2 years after my stroke have been the happiest years of my life. My friends call me the miracle guy for getting better. But more importantly than physically getting better spiritually and emotionally I have become much better. Finally my self-confidence has arrived and I’m happy to be me. And even though I don’t teach anymore I help friends and others as much as I can. And they still have strangers opening up to me.
First, I would like to express gratitude for the amazing podcast and the valuable information that is shared here.
As an INFJ, I have struggled a lot in my younger days. I have often felt very alone (sometimes still do), not knowing how to let people in because I once trusted someone as a young child that hurt me immensely. I have been struggling for the last three years with how to change this way of thinking and actively doing my best to cultivate better habits. I dedicate time for myself each day to journal, and I also keep several journals that allow me to organize the bombardment of thoughts and feelings. I have a gratitude journal, a dream journal, an esoteric and metaphysical journal, and I also keep a planetary alignment and transits journal. I do not write in all of them everyday, but I sit with myself for a few minutes in total silence and allow myself to tune into what it is that I need to express or feel. I have also very recently implemented cord cutting rituals into my daily journaling, which has been absolutely energetically resounding.
Understanding how we connect to people, animals, and other beings by these invisible cords of energy can provide us INFJ types the most solid plan of true release and integration if we wish to learn how to. It does help to know that cutting cords does not mean thay you have to give those people or beings up, because all you’re doing is sending their energies back to them while reclaiming your own, therefore learning how to effectively separate your “you” from your “them”.It’s truly wonderful realizing that we don’t have to give our energy away while ours is being drained again and again. We just have to allow ourselves the freedom to seek nonconventional solutions and tap into the realms in which our gift hails from more often and with sound clarity.
I also try to ground each day, walking barefoot in the grass or mud if it has rained, and I’m one of those weirdos that will sit next to a tree, touching the trunk and conversing with it in depth. When I feel cleansed of everything that weighs me down throughout the day, I stand and hug the tree for a solid 60 seconds and thank it for listening as well as for transferring its energy to me all while taking on some of mine.
I also like to sit by the lake at night and watch the light of the moon dance on the waters surface. This one brings me the most inner peace but it isn’t always obtainable daily. I have found that anything that gives me the opportunity to connect physically and spiritually within the realm of the elements (fire, water, earth), then I become much more at ease within myself emotionally. Since I am an INFJ that is dominated by air in my natal chart as well as being a Reflector in the human design chart, connecting to the elemental beings around me is crucial for my well being.
The last thing I have discovered that helps me navigate this personality is the one that gives me the most anxiety. Once I became aware of how much the special people in my life gave me in terms of sharing their stories and lives with me, all while I actively deflected continuously any topic of discussion focusing on me, I realized how hurtful that could be for them. For the last year, I have made many efforts to open up to those closest to me, by holding myself accountable and pushing through the uncomfortable feelings that come with being vulnerable and the feelings of fear of rejection once they find out who I am.
By allowing myself to see the whole picture from an objective perspective, I have been able to divulge more pieces of myself to my nearest and dearest, which has made me not only super uncomfortable but also super empowered. I have found that once I started letting them in, I in turn have been releasing a lot of things that were holding me down. Even if they don’t fully understand all that I tell them, having someone to “unload” on like so many others have done to me, has been one of the most terrifying yet therapeutically uplifting challenges I have ever done.
With all of that being said, once INFJ’s lose our victim mentality, we can truly implement and utilize these amazing gifts in the most beneficial ways to all those around us.
I have also decided to make more of an effort to learn what the MBI personality types are in concerns to my wife and children, thereby being able to explain to them about how we interact with one another and then explaining how we can fill our own cups up enough that the overflow is a constant loving barrage of good vibes and love flowing effortlessly (more or less) between us.Can’t I get a check for this shit?