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In this episode Joel and Antonia dive deep into the needs and desires of the INFJ personality type.
In this podcast on the INFJ Personality Type you’ll find:
- This podcast episode talks about the INFJ personality type
- We have an unusually high number of INFJs represented in Personality Hacker
- INFJs have the tendency to feel very misunderstood.
- 2 important components to understand INFJs:
- Their mental process is called ‘Perspectives’. They’re actually watching their own mind work and form patterns. Because this isn’t something verifiable, other people just don’t believe them or reject what they radiate.
- INFJs pair Perspectives with Harmony. When a person with the INFJ personality type tries to figure out what to do, the first thing that pops in their mind is, “how do we make sure everybody’s needs are met?” This process is in tuned with unspoken social contracts that we accept.
- INFJs are very sensitive to the emotions of other people that they end up absorbing them.
- The more sensitive they are, the more they have the tendency hiding. The less expressive they get, the more pain they experience.
- It’s difficult for the INFJ personality type to build intimacy with another person.
- INFJs who are developed and growth oriented don’t retreat to coldness. They’ve taken the harmony process in order to understand and create healthy boundaries.
- INFJs are also able to see how things will play out in the future and this is one of the reasons why they are hesitant to build intimacy with other people.
- Because they are so aware of what’s going on with the other person, they end up having one-sided relationships.
- Jesus of Nazareth, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr were probably INFJs.
- INFJs are not in the receiving end in victimization. They have extraordinary capabilities within them.
- If you are an INFJ personality type or know someone who is, here are a few things you need to note:
- You don’t have to absorb other people’s emotions and have it stay there. You need to develop techniques to let it go.
- Words have power and the way you describe yourself will become your reality. Change the way you talk about yourself and think of ways of being a co-creator. Create a reality that’s positive to you. If you change the word use, you can change reality.
- When getting everybody’s needs met, you’re basically part of everybody. Getting your needs met means you take care of yourself. Get sensitive to what those needs are in real time.
- Honor what you need in the moment and be willing to take care of it. This will help you get other’s needs met.
- Continue to look for people who understand you. Allow yourself to be understood and form the relationships you’ve been desiring.
- You can’t change that you’re going to absorb people’s emotions. Manage and learn strategies that will help you figure out a way to let the energy come in and go out.
- Do what you can to see yourself as a person who has positive things to contribute to the world. Focus what you got as gift and not as a burden to others.
Helpful resources for the INFJ personality type:
Developing Your INFJ Personality Type (by Donna Dunning)
The INFJ Personality Type (by Dr. A.J. Drenth)
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304 comments
Shadow I’m not a professional in this matter but I see that there is no reply so I’m going to give it my best shot. First and foremost I want to say that you are a person you have a name and an identity and you occupy a space in this earth that no one can as long as you are standing in it. (In other words validate yourself as a living breathing thing) and just for that you need to be acknowledged and respected but it has to start with you ( in other words set boundaries) I could cry right now if I let what I feel connecting with you take over but it wouldn’t do any good to you so I continue. (It’s a burning sensation in my chest that I recognize as pain and debilitating anxiety) I was there where you are when I was 15-18 yo and I’m 42 I thought my life had no purpose or meaning people used me and discarded me at will. I felt like an object rather than a person. This concept that I’m about to share with you saved my life. In general you cannot give anything you don’t have example: You cannot give someone an apple if you don’t have one to begin with, you cannot give a homeless a penny if you don’t have one (you get the point) those are tangible things but let’s apply that concept to intangible things like; you can’t give love if you don’t have love for yourself, you can provide peace if you don’t have peace in your life, you can’t give an advice if you have not used that on your own life and know for a fact it works. My advice to you is, be selfish and work on yourself first, say no to others in the process is ok. If you have to drop friends and family from your phone do it while you work on you(trust me they will survive without you) once you have all those things accomplished for your self you will see that it’s easier and more enjoyable and rewarding when you give them or share with others. So much so that you would feel more fulfilled and no longer drained lonely and depressed because you still have some left for you. (In other words no validation needed)
Such a great podcast. I’m going to have my ENFP husband listen to this. Just so he can sort of understand. He’s my safe place where I can rest so this will help him know why.
Being an Infj is also why living in Las Vegas for two years was the worst two years of my life. I could not shut out the energy that just pulsed off of that place. I’ve never been so happy leave leave somehere.
Hey erm my names Bradley (everyone calls me shadow though) I took my personality test and it said im an infj-t and I’m (how to put this err) I’m an outcast and I need help I try to help everyone but they just throw me away when they’re back on their feet and I just can’t do it no more I’ve been stuck in my room for three months now I’m only 15 and I just don’t know what to do anymore can anybody help me…plz cuz my minds reeling back and forth my thoughts are everywhere and I’m just a wreck rn idk anymore everything’s just woof for me at the moment… Help plzzzz…thanks
I am an INFJ and enjoyed this podcast, I felt relieved that someone somewhere out there does have some understanding of what life is like for me…… I’ve not read all the comments here but I have to wonder if there is a correlation with the INFJ personality and past abuse?? I am a thriver from childhood abuse and experienced PTSD from that and another event. I was also raised as a spiritualist and felt these gifts (sometimes felt they are a curse) came from spirit. Many years ago (I’m 61) I had the opportunity to step back into my 8 year old self (prior to the childhood abuse) and retest my personality – I can’t remember exactly what it was but it was the opposite of the INFJ, hence my above comment!
Some people have even been scared of my knowing things about them, this makes me and them very uncomfortable – my motto is “Do No Harm”! Over the last 7 years I’ve been struggling with wanting to start my own business, whether that is Coaching/Mentoring people or something in the helping industry………..I don’t have any formal qualifications, which is what holds me back! There is heaps more I would like to say, but for now I’m just grateful that there are other people in the world like me……….
Replying to Nicole’s thread. “…not by taking on others pain, but taking it away – and we truly have the capacity to heal others – profoundly.”
Yes, this. We can intentionally and precisely wield our skill set to heal ourselves and to help others heal (take their pain away) and learn to heal themselves. Feed people to address immediate hunger and then teach them how to fish.